Men after divorce or breakup Copenhagen
Help to find your feet again after the relationship has ended
I help you grieve the ending, steady your days and rebuild a life that fits
- Last updated October 23, 2026
What I want you to know after your relationship has ended
In this short video, I explain what usually happens to a man in the first months after a divorce or breakup, and why carrying it alone tends to make it last longer.
You can also send me an email
At a glance
Men after divorce or breakup Copenhagen helps you as a man when a marriage or long relationship has ended, whether you chose it, she or he did, or nobody quite did. You come alone, for 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, in English or Danish, either at my practice in central Copenhagen or online.
I help you get through the empty evenings, make sense of what went wrong and build a life that is yours again. You will find this page under therapy for men in relationships, inside psychotherapy for men. If an affair is still at the heart of it, men after infidelity is closer.
When you are ready to start rebuilding, request a free discovery call, book a session, check my client policy or send me a message.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
Men after divorce or breakup Copenhagen is for men whose marriage or long relationship has ended and who are struggling more than they expected. You may be functioning at work and falling apart in the evenings. You want help to grieve, to understand your part and to build a life that feels like yours again.
- You moved into a small flat in Valby or Amager, and the silence when you close the door at night is the loudest thing in your week.
- You keep busy with work, the gym and errands so there is never a quiet hour in which to feel anything.
- You drink more at weekends than you used to, and you tell yourself it is just a phase.
- You realise that most of your social life was organised by your partner, and you do not know who to call.
- You swing between anger at her or him, missing her or him badly and wondering whether it was all your fault.
- You have started dating, or avoid it completely, and neither feels right.
- You cannot sleep properly, you eat standing up, and the flat still does not feel like home after months.
- You want to understand what went wrong, so you do not repeat the same pattern with someone new.
This is probably not for you if…
A breakup reaches into many parts of a man’s life, and some need a more specific kind of help. If one of the lines below is closer to your situation, its link is the better place to go.
- The break happened this week, and you can barely function or think straight. → acute psychotherapy
- Your children and your place in their lives are at the centre of what you are struggling with. → divorced fathers therapy
- You and your partner are still deciding, or want help to separate well together. → divorce therapy
- You were lonely long before the breakup, and that is what you want to change. → therapy for lonely men
- You are both thinking of trying again, and both of you are willing to come. → couples therapy
- An affair caused the ending, and it still dominates your thoughts. → men after infidelity
- You live here as an expat, and the breakup has left you without family or a network nearby. → expat divorce therapy alone
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
You can also send me an email
Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“In my clinical experience, men after a breakup are usually told to get back out there. I think that is often the worst advice they can get. A man who rushes into a new life before he has grieved the old one tends to take the same wound with him. In the first months I hear 2 questions under everything. One is ‘Did I ever really matter to her?’ The other is ‘Just let me handle this my own way.’ Sometimes there is a third, more confusing one: ‘I want someone to hold me, and I do not want anyone near me.’ My view is simple. Grieve first. Then build. The life you build will be sturdier for it.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
Connect with me:
If you want me to call you ASAP, or if you want to book me, use the buttons below.
You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
You can also send me an email
A typical situation
Frederik is 47, a sales director who grew up in Odense and has lived in Copenhagen for 20 years. His wife of 16 years asked for a divorce in January. By March he had moved into a rented 2-room flat in Sydhavnen. He works 11-hour days, runs on the harbour every morning and tells his colleagues he is doing fine. In the evenings he scrolls through old photos and sends messages to his ex-wife that he regrets by morning. He has not told his oldest friend how bad it is.
I would start with the evenings, because that is where the grief is waiting for him. In our first session, Frederik would probably notice that he has been treating the divorce as a project to manage, and that what he has not allowed himself yet is to feel the loss.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need help with me after a breakup
You have kept working, kept busy and kept going, and the ending still sits on your chest every evening.
There is no right moment to come. If the ending fills your nights, your thoughts or your body, if you are not recognising yourself or the people around you are worried, that is enough. Nothing has to fall apart before you are allowed to come. Over 22 years, I have learned to tell ordinary grief, which moves, from grief that has frozen into bitterness, numbness or endless busyness.
My professional view is that men need to grieve the relationship, not only recover from it. I will help you see what is happening, what keeps you stuck and what needs to change. The 6 questions below are the signs I watch for in men after an ending.
Are evenings and weekends the hardest part of your week?
For many men they are. Work gives you structure and a role. At 19:00 the structure ends, and the flat is too quiet. Weekends without the children, or without anyone at all, stretch out. You fill them with screens, drinking, training or work, anything to avoid the empty hours.
I would look with you at what those hours hold, and whether the pain is moving or stuck. That tells us whether you are in a hard season or in a pattern that will not ease on its own. If the hours after work feel like this since the break, book a session with me.
Do you want her or him back and also want never to see her or him again?
Both can be true at once, because they come from different places. One part of you misses the closeness, the routines and the person. Another part is furious, hurt or relieved and wants a clean cut. You may send a warm message at night and a cold one the next morning.
I do not treat either part as the problem. One protects your love, the other your dignity. I help you hear both, so that what you do next, whether contact, distance or friendship, is a choice rather than a swing.
Do you keep checking what your ex is doing and who she or he is seeing?
Many men do this and are ashamed of it. You look at her or his social media, read meaning into a profile picture and feel your stomach drop at the sight of a new name. The relief of knowing lasts minutes.
This alarm makes sense when something important has been lost, and I will not shame it. I help you quieten it, turn your attention back to your own life and find out what you are really trying to know. Often the question underneath is whether you were ever loved.
Do you reach for company and then push people away when they come close?
After a breakup, many men want contact badly and then cannot stand it. You go on a date and leave early. A friend invites you over and you cancel. A new partner gets close and you feel trapped. Closeness feels both needed and dangerous.
I help you slow this down and see what sets each shift off, often a reminder of the old relationship or a fear of being hurt again. I respect these reactions as protection, and I will also ask you to take responsibility when they hurt someone new.
Have you gone quiet and pulled away from the people who could help?
Many men do this after a break. Friends ask how you are, and you say “fine”. You stop answering your brother’s calls. Talking about it feels like reopening the wound, or like showing weakness. Distance gives you control, but it also leaves you alone with the worst of it.
I will not shame your need for privacy. I help you understand what the silence protects you from, and take small steps back towards people. Eli Buren, a dear friend and mentor, has been a central influence on me, and I have sat in his work many times. From my own practice, I am convinced that a man after a break needs other men around him, not only a therapist. If that appeals, look at therapy and men’s groups.
Do you no longer know who you are without the relationship?
Often a man’s identity has been built around the marriage, the house, the family routines and his career. When the relationship ends, the scaffolding comes down. You may feel lost, ashamed of failing or unsure what you even like doing on a Saturday.
I help you sort what was truly yours from what you did to keep the relationship running. Sam Keen, in “Fire in the Belly”, writes about men who tie their identity to work and achievement, and about the journey to a fuller manhood with room for feeling, friendship, wonder and care. A breakup can be the start of that journey. I offer direction and challenge, never a ready-made identity.
If the evenings after the break sound like yours, ask for a free call to talk it over, or book a session if you are ready to start.
You can also send me an email
Contact me
Request a personal call
Your journey is unique, and you do not have to walk it alone.
Fill out your contact information and I will call as soon as possible.
Support when you need it most.
Your message is treated confidentially and used only to respond to your enquiry. It is not sold or used for advertising. Please avoid including detailed or highly sensitive clinical information in this form. Information about processing, service providers and retention is available in the privacy policy.
Get in touch
What working with me after a breakup will help you do
Understanding why the relationship ended matters, but you also need to change how you spend your evenings, who you talk to and how you love next time.
Working with me will help you grieve the ending, see the patterns you carried into the relationship and make changes that show in your daily life. Understanding why it ended is useful. Understanding without change usually means meeting the same problem again with someone new.
I take an active role. I will tell you what I see, ask direct questions and challenge stories that keep you bitter or stuck. Men’s work has been part of my own learning since 2010, and it has added to and deepened my training as a psychotherapist. It shapes how I talk with men about loss, pride and friendship. These 6 questions describe what we work towards.
How will I help you understand what really happened?
I help you separate the core of what went wrong from the noise around it. The arguments about money, the in-laws or who did the dishes were real, but they were often symptoms. Underneath you may find distance that crept in slowly, needs neither of you could name, or a habit of keeping the peace until it was too late.
I tell you plainly what I see and question the stories that keep you stuck, whether that is “it was all her fault” or “it was all mine”. If you want to understand the ending properly, book a session with me.
How can you notice the slide before it takes you down for the evening?
You can learn to recognise it early. A photo, a song or a message from your ex can start it: a heaviness in the chest, a thought like “I have ruined everything”, an urge to open a bottle or your phone. Catching that first moment gives you a choice you did not have before.
Together we take one of those evenings apart, find what set it off and what it shields you from, and practise something different. Recognition alone is not enough, so the practice continues between sessions.
How can you deal with the anger and the grief when they hit?
Regulation does not mean switching off. It means staying present enough to feel the anger or the grief without being run by it. Both are legitimate after an ending. Neither should decide what you text at midnight.
I help you notice when you are flooding, understand what your body is reacting to and find concrete ways to slow down, such as walking, breathing, writing instead of sending. These are skills for your own flat at 23:00, so you practise them between our sessions.
How can you speak to your ex clearly without a fight or a collapse?
Talking with an ex starts with knowing which part of the conversation is actually yours. After a breakup, conversations about money, belongings or the flat carry old hurt, so they turn into fights or you give in to avoid one.
I help you find words that are honest, brief and proportionate. I challenge you when you swallow everything, and also when you use practical talks to settle old scores. I do not give legal advice. For that, use a lawyer, and use our sessions to stay steady in the conversations.
How can you make the big decisions without fear or guilt in charge?
Decisions about where to live, whether to stay in Denmark or whether to try again become clearer when you separate fear, guilt and other people’s opinions from what you actually want. My articles on whether to get a divorce and on trial separation may help if the ending is not yet final.
I help you set out the options after the break and what each would demand of you. I will give you my view and point out when you are avoiding the choice. The decision stays yours.
What does it look like to build a life that fits you after the breakup?
Lasting change reaches beyond the therapy room. It may mean a flat that feels like home, a regular evening with friends, a sport or a hobby you dropped years ago, a calmer relationship with alcohol, and a clearer idea of what you want in love.
I help you choose what to rebuild differently after the ending and what to keep. The aim is not to become a different man. It is to live with more clarity and freedom, so your next relationship, if you want one, starts from a stronger place.
You can also send me an email
What happens when you begin working with me after a breakup
You do not need to have it all worked out. I start with what is happening to you now.
In our early sessions, I listen for what the ending has cost you most and give our work a direction. You do not need the full history in order.
This is focused psychotherapy, structured individual work. It differs from divorce therapy, which helps people decide about and carry out a separation, because here the relationship has ended and the focus is you as a man rebuilding afterwards. If you and your ex both want to try again, couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. For a planned course, therapy discounts and bundles give you real savings and an agreed structure.
What happens in our first session after a breakup?
I ask what happened, how long ago, how your days look now and what you most need help with. I listen for what you have lost: the person, the home, the routines, the friends, the future you had imagined. The rest of the story can come out over time.
When the hour ends, I share how I read your situation after the break and propose where we go from here, and you judge whether that is useful. You are welcome to start with a free 30-minute discovery call instead.
When is individual therapy the right choice after a breakup?
Individual work fits almost every man after a breakup, because the questions are now about you: your grief, your patterns, your life ahead. We can look at the old relationship in depth without your ex present.
I keep track of where you are from one session to the next, and I will tell you honestly when you are avoiding the grief. If the break has opened older themes, Psychotherapy Copenhagen describes my individual work more widely.
When might couples therapy still be the better choice?
Couples therapy can still make sense when both of you are unsure the ending is final and both are willing to come. Some couples separate and then discover they want to try again with help.
As an EFT couples therapist, I help both partners see the cycle that pulled them apart and take responsibility for their part. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing. If only you want to try, individual work is the more honest place to start.
How often should you come after a breakup?
In the first months, weekly sessions give you support while the loss is raw. Later, every second week or every few weeks can keep you on track.
I will tell you honestly if the gaps are too long for anything to build, or when it is safe to slow down. If your work makes weekly sessions hard, a few sessions back-to-back over a couple of days are also possible.
When does a bundle make sense after a breakup?
A bundle makes sense when you know you want to work properly on this and not just get through the next week. Many men stop as soon as the worst pain eases, before they have understood the pattern. A planned course helps you finish the job.
For a man rebuilding after a break, a bundle gives significant savings and the safety of a structured plan. I will help you judge whether one fits. Look at the options on therapy discounts and bundles or in the cards below.
How will we know the work after the breakup is done?
It has done its job when the breakup is part of your story rather than the whole of it, when your evenings feel like your own and when you can think about your ex without being thrown.
I talk with you plainly about progress as we go, and I have no interest in keeping you in therapy for years. Sessions can thin out, pause or end. Coming back later, for instance when a new relationship gets serious, simply means a new chapter has begun.
How it works with me
- Reach out through a free 30-minute call, or book your first session. Say briefly what has ended and when, so I can check this is the right page for you.
- We meet for a 1-hour appointment with 50 minutes of therapy, one to one, at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or online, in English or Danish. Sessions can be booked from 08:00 to 21:00 Copenhagen time on any day of the week, subject to availability.
- In the first months we usually meet weekly. Later, as the evenings get easier, we space the sessions out.
- Every few sessions, we stop and look at what has shifted since the break, then choose whether to carry on, slow down or finish.
- If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start. You can see the bundles just below, or on therapy discounts and bundles.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Not sure this is the right place to start? Here is how it compares with the options men after a breakup most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Men after divorce or breakup (this page) | Your relationship has ended and you need help to rebuild your life as a man. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
| Divorce therapy | You are still deciding, or want help to separate well. | A planned course of sessions |
| Divorced fathers therapy | Your children and your role as their father are at the centre. | Weekly or every second week |
| Therapy for lonely men | Loneliness was there before the breakup and is the real issue. | A steady rhythm over months |
Frequently asked questions
What is therapy for men after a divorce or breakup with you?
Therapy for men after a divorce or breakup is individual psychotherapy for a man whose marriage or long relationship has ended. It helps you grieve, understand your part, deal with anger and loneliness, and build a life that fits you. Men in this situation see me in English or Danish, in central Copenhagen or online.
I work with the whole man: your history, your body, your friendships and what you learned about being a man. It sits within therapy for men in relationships.
When should I come to you after a breakup?
Come when the ending is affecting your sleep, your drinking, your work or your friendships, or when months have passed and nothing has moved. You do not need to wait until you are at rock bottom. Your own sense that you are not coping well is enough.
I look at whether your grief is moving or frozen, how isolated you have become and whether you are repeating old patterns. Men who come early often recover their footing much sooner.
Can you help me get over her or him?
Yes, though not by making you forget. I help you grieve properly, which is what lets a loss settle. I cannot promise how long it will take, and I do not offer quick fixes. I can offer steady work that helps you carry the ending rather than be carried by it.
In my clinical experience, the men who struggle longest are the ones who skip the grief and go straight to anger or a new relationship. I would focus with you on what you lost, what it meant and what you want now.
My friends say I should just move on. Are they wrong?
They mean well, and they are partly right: you do need to move forward. But moving on too fast often means burying the loss, and buried losses come back. A good friend will understand if you need more time.
I will not keep you stuck in the past. I will help you move at a pace that holds, and that includes getting back in touch with friends and other men who can be there for you.
Why do I want company and then avoid it when it comes?
Because closeness feels both needed and risky after a loss. Part of you wants comfort and touch. Another part fears being hurt again or found wanting. So you reach out, then cancel, or start dating, then disappear. It is not a flaw. It is protection doing too much.
I help you see which way you move under pressure, and what each move costs. Then we work on steadier choices: saying yes to a friend and staying, dating slowly and honestly, taking space without vanishing.
What will we talk about in the first session after my breakup?
We start with now: what ended, how your days are, what is hardest. I may ask about your parents’ relationship and how losses were handled in your family, because that often shapes how a man grieves. You go home with my first sense of where the grief is stuck and what we might do about it.
Nothing needs preparing. Book the first session when it suits you, or have a free call with me before you decide.
How long will it take before I feel like myself again?
Plan for a course over several months. Many men feel steadier within the first weeks of regular sessions. Understanding the pattern well enough not to repeat it usually takes longer, especially after a long marriage.
After a breakup, I would rather we agree a first run of sessions and then sit down to see what has shifted than let the weeks blur. At that point you choose with me whether to carry on.
Should I come in person or online after a breakup?
Come in person if you can. For many men, the walk to my practice and sitting in the same room is part of getting out of the flat. Online works well too if you travel, have moved away or prefer it, and sessions last just as long.
In person or on screen, the work is part of my psychotherapy for men. If you cannot decide, raise it on a free call and we will settle it together.
What does it cost to see you after a breakup?
Sessions are individual psychotherapy, booked as 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy. Today’s fee for a session is on my prices page. You pay by invoice and bank transfer.
If you plan to come for a while, a bundle saves 10 per cent and gives you a structure, as set out on therapy discounts and bundles. Pay on the day from an account at a Danish bank, and the total drops by a further 3 per cent.
How do I start working with you after a breakup?
Book your first session after the breakup, or request a free 30-minute discovery call if talking first feels better. A sentence about what has ended is enough.
If you are struggling badly and nothing in the calendar is soon enough, contact me directly. In the worst weeks after an ending, I can usually offer a time within days. Book today, and we begin where you are.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
Explore other services I offer
Individual psychotherapy
Join the newsletter community
Join the newsletter and receive five practical tips for nurturing healthy relationships – with yourself and the people around you.
No spam. Just mindful insights.