Therapy for lonely men Copenhagen
Help when your friendships have quietly faded and you feel alone
I help you see why you went quiet and how to rebuild real friendship
- Last updated October 16, 2026
What I want lonely men to know
In this short video, I explain why so many men lose their friendships without noticing, and what it takes to let people close again.
You can also send me an email
At a glance
Therapy for lonely men Copenhagen helps men who feel alone, cut off or unknown, even with a busy job, a family or a full calendar. Sessions are one to one, 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, in English or Danish, in person at Møntergade 4 or online.
I help you understand how the distance grew and what it would take to have people in your life who actually know you. Among the branches of my psychotherapy for men, this one is about men who have lost touch with people. If you are drawn to a circle of other men, therapy and men’s groups looks at that step. My general page on loneliness therapy is for anyone who feels alone, while this page is about how loneliness shows up in men and what helps men in particular.
When you are ready, you can ask for a free discovery call, book your first session, look through my client policy or get in touch with a question.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
Therapy for lonely men Copenhagen is for men who have drifted away from friends, family or a sense of belonging and feel it more than they say. You may be surrounded by colleagues and still have nobody to call when something goes wrong. You want to understand how that happened and to have real company again.
- You realise you cannot remember the last time you called a friend just to talk, not to arrange something.
- You have plenty of colleagues and a group chat that still pings, but nobody who knows what is really going on.
- You spend Friday evenings with a beer and your phone, telling yourself you prefer the quiet after a long week.
- You moved to Copenhagen for work or love, and the friends you have made here all seem to belong to your partner.
- The person you live with is the only one you really talk to, and you feel uneasy about how much rests on them.
- You run, lift or cycle hard most days, partly because it fills the hours when you would otherwise feel alone.
- You used to be the friend who organised everything, and since you stopped, you have noticed that nobody else does it.
- You would like closer friendships with other men but have no idea how to start without feeling awkward or needy.
This is probably not for you if…
Loneliness in men overlaps with several other themes. If one of these is closer to your situation, follow the link to the page that serves it.
- The loneliness sits under a heaviness, flatness or irritability that has lasted for months. → depression in men
- You feel alone mainly because you have just moved to Denmark and are still finding your feet. → therapy for expat men
- You are in your twenties and finding it hard to build a life and friendships of your own. → therapy for young men
- You feel cut off inside your relationship, and that relationship is what you want to work on. → therapy for men in relationships
- You want to look at your life as a man more broadly, with loneliness as one theme among others. → psychotherapy for men
- Something has happened that you cannot carry alone, and you need help this week. → acute psychotherapy
- You already want to join a men’s group or community and want individual help to make the most of it. → therapy and men’s groups
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
You can also send me an email
Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“In my clinical experience, lonely men rarely say they are lonely. They say they are tired, busy or fine. I disagree with the idea that men simply do not need close friends. The men I sit with often want them badly and gave up on them quietly, one cancelled beer at a time. Underneath, I hear ‘Would anyone notice if I stopped getting in touch?’ and, right beside it, ‘I am better off sorting my own life out without bothering people.’ Neither is telling you the truth about what you need. A man who lets himself want company again has already taken the hardest step.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
Connect with me:
If you want me to call you ASAP, or if you want to book me, use the buttons below.
You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
You can also send me an email
A typical situation
Ahmed is 39, a software architect who came to Copenhagen from Manchester 7 years ago. He has a Danish partner, a son in kindergarten and a calendar full of meetings. His old friends are on a group chat he mostly reads without replying. On Saturdays he runs 20 kilometres around the lakes, then spends the afternoon on his phone. When his partner suggested he talk to someone, he said he was fine.
I would start with the friendships Ahmed has let go of, one by one. In our first session, he would probably see that he stopped reaching out at about the time he stopped feeling he had anything good to report. That gives us something real to work with.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need therapy for lonely men with me
You have kept busy and kept going, and still the silence around you has grown.
There is no right moment to begin, and you do not need a crisis to justify it. If you sense that you have drifted away from people, or that nobody really knows you any more, that is reason enough. In 22 years of practice, I have sat with many men who arrived saying they were only a bit stressed, and I recognise when loneliness has become a pattern that will not lift on its own.
In sessions, I usually begin by helping you see how the distance grew, what keeps it in place and what has to change. Ask yourself the 6 questions below before you decide.
Has your social life shrunk to work, family and a screen?
If it has, that deserves attention. For many men, loneliness does not feel like sadness. It feels like routine: work, the commute, dinner, a series, bed. You may still see people, but always for a purpose, a match, a birthday, a work drink, and you come home feeling you said nothing that mattered.
I would look at how long it has been like this and whether it began with a move, a breakup, a new baby or a new job. That tells us whether this is a lean season or a pattern you carry with you. If you see yourself here, book a session with me.
Do you want close friends and also prefer to be left alone?
Both can be true, because they protect different things. Part of you misses the easy closeness you had with friends at 20. Another part has got used to not needing anyone, and finds the thought of being known slightly alarming. So you make a plan, look forward to it, and feel relieved when it falls through.
I will not side with one part against the other. I help you hear what each one guards: the wish for company, and the fear of being seen as weak or boring. The aim is to choose company deliberately, rather than letting the relieved part decide every time.
Do you wonder whether your friends would notice if you stopped calling?
Many men do, and few say it aloud. When you are always the one who suggests the beer, a slow reply can land as proof that you matter less to them than they do to you. You count who called whom last and quietly decide not to bother next time. The hurt goes underground and comes out as pride.
Wanting to matter to your friends is not needy. I help you calm the alarm that treats every silence as rejection, check your story against what you actually know, and say directly what you want, for example ‘I miss our evenings, shall we make it a regular thing?’
Do you finally say something real to a friend and then go silent?
That can happen when closeness has become both longed for and risky. After an evening when you finally said what was going on, you may feel exposed the next morning. You stop replying, get very busy, and then feel too embarrassed to pick up the thread. The friendship cools, and the loneliness feels confirmed.
I help you slow that sequence down until we can see the moment the warmth turns into a wish to hide. Often it is shame about having needed something. I respect that reflex, and I will also ask you to take responsibility for what it costs the friend left wondering what he did wrong.
Do you go quiet when people want more of you than you can give?
Some lonely men are not short of people. They are short of room. So you keep it light and escape into the garage, the bike or a screen. It feels like control. Slowly, it becomes a wall.
Your need for distance is real, and I respect it. I help you see what it protects you from, often an old sense that other people’s feelings are your job to fix. You learn to say ‘I need an evening to myself’ before the silence turns into absence.
Have you lost track of who you are outside work and family?
After years of being the provider, the colleague, the partner and the dad, many men find very little left that is just theirs. You may feel ashamed that you need anything at all. That is not a flaw in you. It is what happens when every role is about other people.
I help you look at who you are when nobody needs anything from you, and what kind of friendship fits you. I will challenge you when you shrink yourself to keep the peace, but I will not hand you a model of manhood to copy.
If this sounds like you, a free call is a low-key way to test the water, and booking a session is the direct route if you already know.
You can also send me an email
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What therapy for lonely men with me will help you do
Knowing why you drifted away matters, but the real test is whether you pick up the phone.
Working with me will help you understand how your loneliness came about, see the habits that keep it in place and make changes that put people back into your week. But insight that never turns into a phone call changes very little.
I take an active part and will challenge you when you talk yourself out of contact. Men’s work has been part of my own learning since 2010, and it adds to and deepens my training as a psychotherapist. Eli Buren, a dear friend and mentor, has been a central influence, and I have sat in his work many times. My own practice has convinced me that men need other men. Sam Keen’s “Fire in the Belly” describes the man who has traded his friendships for work and achievement, and I recognise him in many men who come to see me. These 6 questions describe what we work towards.
How will I help you understand why you ended up so alone?
I help you separate the core from the noise around it. The long weekends, the extra beer and the hours online are usually consequences. Underneath you will often find a belief that you have to earn your place with people, grief over friendships that ended without a word, or a family where men did not talk about anything that mattered.
I will question explanations that keep you stuck, such as ‘Danes are impossible to befriend’ or ‘I am just not a people person’. When you are ready, book a session with me and we will start there.
How can you notice the moment you start to cancel on people?
You can learn to spot it early. Withdrawal rarely starts with a decision. It starts with a heavy feeling on Thursday afternoon, a thought like ‘they will not really miss me’, and a text that begins ‘Sorry, something came up’. Once you see the first link in that chain, you can choose differently.
I help you slow the sequence down and look at what sets it off and what it costs you. We agree on small, concrete steps, such as keeping one plan a week whatever you feel, and you practise them until they hold.
How can you handle the ache of an empty evening without numbing it?
Steadying yourself does not mean pretending you are fine or filling every hour. It means staying with the feeling long enough to understand it. Many men reach for a drink, a game or more work, and the ache simply waits until tomorrow.
I help you recognise the restlessness earlier and find ways of settling it that do not shut you off from people. This takes practice between sessions. If you feel alone even when your friends are around, my article on feeling lonely even with friends may help you put words to it.
How can you ask a friend for more without feeling needy?
It begins with knowing what you want: a regular evening, a real conversation, or simply to be asked how you are. Many men were taught that needing something is a weakness, so they hint, joke or wait to be invited. The unspoken wish turns into resentment, and the resentment keeps you away.
I help you find words that are plain and proportionate. I will challenge you when you go silent, and also when you expect a friend to read your mind. We often rehearse the exact message, so that sending it costs you a few minutes of nerves rather than a week of doubt.
How can you choose where to find company without fear deciding for you?
Clearer choices come when you separate fear and habit from what you actually want. Should you rebuild old friendships at home, invest in new ones here, join a club or take a step towards a group of men? Fear tends to say no to all of it.
I help you look at your options honestly and at what you are avoiding. I give you my view, but the choice stays with you. If living in Denmark makes it harder, my article on making friends in Denmark is a practical place to start.
What would a week with people in it actually look like?
Lasting change has to show up in your diary, not only in how you feel in my room. That may mean one fixed evening with a friend, a team you commit to, honest conversations at home, or picking up a friendship you let go years ago.
If you are a man who likes his own company, that is not the problem, and we will not make you into someone else. The goal is a life where solitude is a choice you make, rather than a place you end up.
You can also send me an email
What happens when you begin therapy for lonely men with me
You do not need to explain why you are alone. We start with what your week is like now.
When you begin, I listen, help you name what is actually missing and give the work a clear direction early. I do not expect a tidy account of why your friendships faded.
This is a focused form of psychotherapy: one-to-one, structured work on your inner life and your relationships. If the loneliness lives mostly inside your relationship and your partner will join you, couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. If you want a steady run of sessions, therapy discounts and bundles give you real savings and a plan agreed in advance.
What will the first session be like if I am not used to talking about myself?
I ask what made you get in touch now, what your weeks look like, who is in your life and who has fallen out of it. You do not need to tell me your whole life story first. If talking is hard, we begin with facts and let the feelings come later.
By the end, I share my first understanding and propose a direction, and you decide whether my way of working suits you. If you prefer to talk before committing, start with a free 30-minute discovery call.
When is individual therapy the right way to work on loneliness?
Individual therapy is right when the loneliness lives mainly in you: in what you learned about needing people and in the way you hold back. We can explore your friendships, your family and your partner without anyone else in the room.
Week by week, you get continuity from me and honest challenge. If you want the wider view, Psychotherapy Copenhagen explains how I work one to one with anyone, not only lonely men.
When would couples therapy do more than coming on your own?
Couples therapy is the better choice when the relationship itself needs sustained attention: you feel alone next to your partner, trust has been damaged, or one of you reaches out while the other retreats.
In couples work, I help you both see the pattern you are caught in, own your share of it and build a safer way of being together. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing, and some men do individual work first and bring their partner in later.
How often should we meet when loneliness is the theme?
That depends on how long you have felt this way and how much room your life has right now. Loneliness grows in gaps, so I prefer sessions close enough together that we do not lose the thread.
I recommend starting with sessions weekly or every second week. I will tell you when closer sessions would help and when we can space them out. A few sessions back-to-back over several days are also possible.
When does a bundle of sessions make sense for you?
A bundle makes sense when you know the work will take several sessions and you want to commit rather than reconsider after each one. For men who tend to cancel when things get close, that commitment is part of the work.
A bundle means significant savings and the safety of a structured plan, and I will help you work out whether it suits your situation. Compare the options on therapy discounts and bundles.
How will we know when the work is done?
The work has done its job when you have people you can call, can ask for company without dread, and no longer need regular support. You may still enjoy solitude. It just no longer feels like exile.
We look at progress together, openly, and I have no interest in keeping you in therapy for its own sake. Sessions can thin out, pause or stop. Coming back later with something new does not mean this work failed.
How it works with me
- Book a free 30-minute call or go straight to booking your first session.
- The first session is a 1-hour appointment with 50 minutes of therapy, one to one, at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or online, in English or Danish. I see clients between 08:00 and 21:00 Copenhagen time, 7 days a week, subject to availability.
- Our usual rhythm at first is weekly or every second week.
- Every few sessions, we review what has changed in your week and in your friendships, and decide together whether to keep the pace, space the sessions out or finish.
- If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start. You can see the bundles just below.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Not sure this is the right place to start? Here is how it compares with the options lonely men most often weigh up.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Therapy for lonely men (this page) | You feel cut off from friends and want to understand why and change it. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
| Therapy and men’s groups | You are in a men’s group, or want to join one, and want individual work alongside it. | 1-hour sessions beside group life |
| Depression in men | The loneliness sits inside a heaviness, numbness or irritability that will not lift. | Weekly sessions at first |
| Therapy for expat men | Your isolation started with a move to Denmark and a life far from home. | 1-hour sessions in person or online |
Frequently asked questions
What is therapy for lonely men with you?
Therapy for lonely men is individual psychotherapy for men who feel cut off from friends, family or a sense of belonging, whether they live alone or in a full house. It helps you understand how the distance grew and how to let people closer. We can talk in English or Danish, in my room in central Copenhagen or over video.
I work in depth with your history, your family, your body and the ways you learned to manage on your own. Within my psychotherapy for men, this is the branch for loneliness.
When should I come to you about feeling alone?
Come when weeks go by without a real conversation, when you dread weekends, or when you realise there is nobody you would call at 2 in the morning. If you feel something is missing, trust that feeling enough to come.
In 22 years of practice, I have learned to ask how long it has been like this and what you have stopped doing. Loneliness that keeps returning, however busy you keep, deserves proper attention. My article on how to deal with loneliness offers some first steps.
Can therapy really help me make friends?
Yes, though not by giving you a script. I cannot promise how quickly your social life will change, and therapy does not replace friendship. What it can do is remove what keeps getting in the way: the shame, the scorekeeping and the habit of disappearing.
In my clinical experience, men who make real friends after years alone rarely do it by trying harder. They do it by letting themselves be a little more known. That is where I would focus with you.
My partner thinks I should see someone. Do I have to want to come?
No. Plenty of men first come because a partner, a friend or a sibling kept asking. You only need to be willing to sit down and see whether it is useful.
I will not take your partner’s side or treat you as the problem. We look at your life as you see it. Often, men discover that the push from home gave them a permission they were not giving themselves.
Why do I keep score of who called whom, and then stay away?
Because both moves are ways of staying safe. Keeping score protects you from being the one who cares more. Staying away protects you from finding out. Some men do the opposite and keep reaching out, then feel hurt when the warmth is not returned. None of this is a character flaw.
I help you see which way you move under pressure and what it costs you and your friends. Then we practise steadier options: asking plainly, accepting an uneven friendship for what it is, and taking space without quietly cutting people off.
What if I do not know what to say in the first session?
Then we start with something ordinary: your work, your week, the last time you spent an evening with a friend. I ask questions and tell you what I notice. By the end, you will have my first understanding and a direction.
You do not need to prepare. Book a first session when you feel ready, or test the water with a free discovery call.
How long does it usually take to feel less alone?
I suggest planning for a few months of sessions, weekly or every second week. That is often enough to understand your pattern and take the first real steps towards people. If the loneliness goes back to childhood or a major loss, it takes longer.
Based on 22 years of practice, I prefer a clear first stretch that we review honestly to open-ended drifting.
Should I come to your practice or have sessions online?
Come to the practice if you can. Online sessions last just as long and suit you if you travel a lot or live outside Copenhagen.
I offer both formats within my psychotherapy practice, in English or Danish. If you cannot decide, we can settle it on a free call.
What does therapy for lonely men cost?
This is individual psychotherapy, so you book 1-hour appointments, each with 50 minutes of therapy. My prices page always shows the current price. You pay by invoice and bank transfer.
If you plan to come for a run of sessions, a bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives the work a clear structure. You will find them on therapy discounts and bundles. And if you pay the invoice on the same day from a Danish bank account, another 3 per cent comes off.
How do I book a session with you?
Choose a time for your first session online, or ask for a free 30-minute call if you want to talk before booking.
If no time suits you, or something has happened that makes this urgent, contact me directly. I keep some room for acute situations, usually a time within days. Take the step, and we start from where you are.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
Explore other services I offer
Individual psychotherapy
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