In this short video, I talk about couples where one partner is both autistic and ADHD, and how the two can pull in opposite directions.
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AuDHD couples therapy Copenhagen is for couples where one or both partners is both autistic and ADHD. That mix often brings a need for routine alongside a hunger for novelty, and bursts of energy followed by burnout. We look at how that plays out between you and find arrangements that suit it. Sessions are two hours, in Danish or English, in person at my practice in central Copenhagen or online.
It is a branch of neurodiverse couples therapy. If your partner will not come, see AuDHD couples therapy alone. There are also pages for ADHD and autism on their own.
You can request a free discovery call, book a session, review my client policy or contact me directly.
This service suits couples in or near Copenhagen who come together and where one or both of you is both autistic and ADHD.
One of these pages may suit you better.
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“With the neurodiverse couples I work with, I find that AuDHD partners are often asked to be one thing, when they are two at once. Underneath, the other partner may be asking ‘Which version of you will I get today?’, while the AuDHD partner asks ‘Can you accept all of me?’. Some feel ‘Hold me’ and ‘Don’t touch me’ within the same hour. When both pulls are named, the relationship can make room for them.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
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You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
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Ida has AuDHD and runs her own design studio; her husband, Mads, is a calm planner. Some weeks Ida fills the calendar with trips and projects; other weeks she cannot face the supermarket. Mads tries to keep up, then tries to slow her down, and both end in a fight.
In our sessions, they map Ida’s cycles of energy and recovery. They keep one fixed evening a week at home and one open day for adventure. Mads learns the signs that Ida is running out, and Ida learns to say “low battery” before she snaps. The fights become rarer and shorter.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
Two pulls in one person can make a partner hard to read. They do not make them hard to love.
With AuDHD, one part of the brain may need sameness and quiet while the other craves stimulation and change. Partners often feel they cannot win.
In our sessions, we make that inner tension visible, so it stops being fought out between you.
Some AuDHD partners want structure and spontaneity at once, and feel frustrated with both.
We look at how to build in each, on purpose.
Energy can swing from big plans and late nights to days of shutdown.
We learn the signs of each phase and plan for them together.
The home may look chaotic, yet small changes in it can feel unbearable to the AuDHD partner.
We look at which kind of order actually helps.
Many AuDHD adults have felt misunderstood all their lives, and can hear even a gentle request as criticism.
We give that history room, without letting it run the relationship.
The other partner may not know whether to offer calm or stimulation, structure or freedom.
We work out clearer signals.
A late diagnosis can explain years of conflict, but understanding alone does not change daily life.
We turn that understanding into practical change.
If this feels familiar, send me a few lines, or book a time.
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Both needs seen. Then a plan that makes room for each.
We look at routine and novelty, energy and burnout, tasks and closeness, and at the cycle these set off between you.
We map the two pulls in a typical week: when the AuDHD partner needs quiet and sameness, and when they need stimulation. Seen together, the pattern makes more sense.
Yes. We build plans with fixed points and open space, so there is safety and room to move.
Yes. We learn the early signs of overload and burnout, and agree what each of you does when you see them.
Yes. We look for task systems that are visible, flexible and not dependent on willpower or memory.
Yes. Some people find words slowly; others say a lot very fast. We try writing, set times or short check-ins to find what works.
Usually: fewer swings into conflict, more patience on both sides and a home that supports rather than drains.
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You do not need the label sorted out. Curiosity about how you work is enough.
To begin with, I ask how autism and ADHD each show up for you, how the other partner experiences that and what you hope for. If another kind of help fits better, I will say so.
The two hours follow a plan I explain at the start, with breaks. Each of you describes a recent hard day, and we start to sketch the pattern.
I give a clear structure but keep it flexible, plan breaks, keep light low and welcome movement, fidgeting or writing.
Yes. Many AuDHD clients find it easier to send a few notes before the first session. I read them beforehand.
Most couples meet every two to three weeks, so there is time to test new arrangements at home.
A bundle sets out a number of sessions in advance at 10 per cent less. It gives the work a frame without fixing every date. See the bundle cards.
You recognise the swings earlier, recover faster and feel more like a team. At that point we review the plan.
Which page fits best? Compare the closest ones.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| AuDHD couples therapy (this page) | Autism and ADHD together; both attend. | 2 hours, every two to three weeks |
| AuDHD couples therapy alone | You come on your own. | 1-hour individual sessions |
| ADHD couples therapy | ADHD without autism. | 2-hour sessions |
| Autism couples therapy | Autism without ADHD. | 2-hour sessions |
Couples therapy for relationships where one or both partners is both autistic and ADHD. Sessions are in Danish or English in central Copenhagen.
AuDHD is a common name for having both autism and ADHD. The two can pull in opposite directions, for example routine versus novelty.
That is welcome. We look at how your profiles fit together, whatever mix you have.
No. Many adults self-identify or are waiting for assessment. What matters is how it shows up between you.
Yes. Here we work with both sets of needs at once, and with the tension between them. For one profile alone, see ADHD or autism couples therapy.
Yes. Most international clients work with me in English. I also work in Danish.
No. Assessment and medication belong with your GP or a specialist clinic. My work is the relationship.
It differs. Every few sessions we check together whether it is still helping.
A two-hour couples session costs 3,700 DKK including VAT. All prices are on the prices page, and bundles take 10 per cent off. Online sessions cost the same and last just as long.
Write to me, use the calendar or start with a free 30-minute call.
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My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
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