EFT couples therapy Copenhagen
Emotion-focused work for deeper connection and lasting change
I will help you understand the cycle and reconnect safely
What I want you to know about EFT during a relationship crisis
In this short video, I explain how I use Emotion-Focused Therapy to help you slow the crisis and understand the emotions driving it.
You can also send me an email
At a glance
EFT couples therapy Copenhagen is immediate, emotion-focused help when distress has taken over your relationship and ordinary conversations no longer work.
I help both of you slow the cycle, reach the fear, hurt or longing underneath your reactions and respond in ways the other person can receive.
You can request a free discovery call, book a session with me, review my client policy or contact me directly.
Client reviews
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Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
Connect with me:
If you want me to call you ASAP, or if you want to book me, use the buttons below.
You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
You can also send me an email
This is when you need EFT couples therapy with me
You are trying to reach each other, but the emotions between you have become stronger than your ability to stay connected.
You need this service when fear, anger, hurt or emotional withdrawal is shaping every conversation. There is no perfect threshold you must cross before asking for help. If the relationship feels unsafe, disconnected or impossible to discuss without escalation, that is enough reason to act.
In more than 21 years of practice, I have learned that couples in crisis need help with what is happening underneath the argument, not simply better arguments. I will identify the emotional cycle, slow it down and help each of you speak from the experience that the other person has stopped being able to hear.
Is the conflict becoming impossible to contain?
Yes, you need help when arguments continue long after either of you can think clearly, when the same dispute repeatedly returns or when silence feels as hostile as shouting. You may be monitoring every word, avoiding the house, losing sleep or trying to carry on normally while the relationship dominates your attention.
I will help you separate the focused trigger from the cycle that keeps expanding it. We will identify what must be contained, what needs to be said and what cannot be resolved while either of you is overwhelmed. If this is already affecting daily life, book a session with me rather than waiting for another escalation.
Are you trying to reach each other and creating more distance?
You can both want connection and still react in ways that make it less possible. One of you may press for an answer while the other becomes overwhelmed and withdraws. Each protective move then confirms the other person’s fear.
I help you see this as a shared emotional cycle without removing responsibility for harmful behaviour. We identify what each reaction protects and create a different way of reaching, pausing and responding.
Does distance make you fear that the relationship is disappearing?
Silence, uncertainty or a change in your partner’s tone can feel like evidence that the bond between you is disappearing. You may demand answers, seek repeated reassurance or become unable to settle until contact is restored.
I help you reach the fear and longing beneath the urgency, then communicate them without pressure or accusation. Your need for connection is not the problem. The work is to express it in a form your partner can receive.
Do you withdraw when emotion becomes too intense?
Emotional intensity can feel intrusive, exhausting or impossible to answer correctly. You may become quiet, factual or distant because withdrawal seems like the only way to regain control.
I help you understand what the distance protects and how its impact differs from your intention. You learn to state your limits, remain emotionally present where possible and return before space becomes abandonment.
Do you move rapidly between reaching out and shutting down?
You may urgently seek closeness and then push it away when it arrives. The movement between pleading, anger, withdrawal and numbness can happen so quickly that neither of you understands what just happened.
I slow these shifts down and help you identify the emotion underneath each protective response. Compassion does not remove responsibility. It creates enough safety for both of you to respond with greater consistency.
Are you questioning whether the relationship can survive?
You may no longer know whether you want to repair the relationship, leave it or simply stop the present pain. Betrayal, repeated conflict or prolonged disconnection can make every option feel frightening. You may also be adapting so completely to the crisis that you have lost contact with your own limits and values.
I will offer direction and professional challenge without deciding the future of your relationship for you. We will clarify what has happened, what each of you is prepared to take responsibility for and what evidence would make repair realistic. The aim is an informed decision, not pressure to stay together at any cost.
If the crisis is active now, request a call or book a session so that we can establish what kind of focused support you need.
You can also send me an email
Contact me
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What EFT couples therapy with me will help you do
Understanding the crisis matters, but lasting change requires both of you to respond differently when vulnerable emotions appear.
I will help you recognise the emotional cycle driving the crisis, understand what each of you is protecting and create new responses that make contact possible. Insight is valuable only when it changes what happens between you.
My professional role is active and structured. I will slow destructive exchanges, help you reach the experience beneath them and challenge both partners to take responsibility for creating a safer emotional relationship.
How will I help you understand the emotion beneath the crisis?
I will help you distinguish the central emotional injury from the arguments and defensive reactions surrounding it. Betrayal, abandonment, shame, fear of loss or prolonged loneliness may be driving a conflict that appears to be about something smaller.
I bring clarity by identifying what is urgent, what each response is protecting and where genuine contact is still possible. I will offer my professional understanding rather than leaving you alone with competing explanations.
Can you interrupt the emotional cycle before it takes over?
Yes. You can learn to recognise the first signs of the cycle before either of you reaches shouting, pursuit, withdrawal or shutdown. That earlier recognition creates a moment in which a different response becomes possible.
I help you map what happens first, which emotion becomes unbearable and which protective move follows. You will practise slowing the sequence and returning to the issue in a way the other person can receive.
Can you express the hurt without attacking each other?
Yes, but vulnerable communication is different from saying everything at full intensity. You need to know what you are trying to communicate and what fear, shame or accumulated resentment has added to it.
I help you move from accusation towards the hurt, need or longing underneath it. I will challenge self-silencing and attack alike. The aim is emotional contact, not victory.
Can you respond to each other without becoming defensive?
Defensiveness often begins before either partner has understood what is being asked for. A request for reassurance may sound like criticism, while a need for space may sound like rejection.
I help you hear the emotional message beneath the protective form and respond without surrendering your boundaries. Both of you remain responsible for speaking in a way that makes a response possible.
How will you repair the emotional injury between you?
Repair requires more than an apology. The injured partner needs their experience understood, while the other partner must be able to remain present, take responsibility and respond without immediately defending themselves.
I structure this process carefully. We establish what happened, what it meant emotionally and what repeated actions are required before safety and trust can realistically return.
What would a more emotionally secure relationship require?
A more secure relationship requires changes outside therapy. You may need clearer boundaries, greater responsiveness, different ways of handling conflict and protected time for emotional contact.
I help you define what must change and how you will recognise whether it is changing. The goal is not to return to the relationship exactly as it was, but to build one in which both partners can remain present and reachable.
You can also send me an email
What happens when you begin EFT couples therapy with me
You do not need perfect words before you arrive. I begin with the present crisis and the emotions that neither of you can manage alone.
I begin by listening to both of you, identifying the focused crisis and mapping the emotional cycle between you. I will not require your entire relationship history before useful work begins.
If one partner needs dedicated individual work, I may recommend structured psychotherapy with me. When you need sustained work beyond the crisis, long-term couples therapy with me is the appropriate pathway. For continuity and significant savings, you can consider a structured therapy bundle.
What happens in our first EFT couples therapy session?
I ask what brought the crisis to this point, what each of you fears and what happens immediately before the interaction becomes destructive. I ensure that both perspectives are heard without allowing the session to become another uncontrolled argument.
Before the session ends, I will offer an initial map of the emotional cycle and clear priorities for what must change first. You should understand both the focused task and the direction of further work.
When does one partner need individual emotion-focused work?
Individual work is appropriate when trauma, shame, anxiety, identity or longstanding protective responses prevent one partner from remaining present in the relationship work.
I may recommend individual psychotherapy with me so that this experience receives dedicated attention. It is not used to build a case against the other partner.
When should EFT couples therapy become longer-term couples therapy?
our work should become longer-term therapy when the focused crisis has stabilised but emotional injuries, loss of trust or the cycle between you still require sustained attention.
You can continue through long-term relational work with me. Containing the emergency is important, but it is not the same as healing the relationship.
How frequently should you attend during a crisis?
During an active crisis, sessions usually need enough frequency to maintain continuity. Long gaps can allow the same cycle to intensify before either of you has had time to practise a different response.
I will recommend the pace I believe the situation requires. That may involve an extended first session, closely spaced appointments or a planned transition into regular couples therapy. I will also tell you when the work can safely become less frequent.
When does a structured EFT plan make sense?
A structured plan makes sense when the emotional cycle is established and both of you need protected time to practise a different way of responding.
A planned therapy bundle provides continuity, significant savings and the security of knowing when we meet next. I recommend one only when it serves a clear clinical purpose.
How will you know when the focused work has done its job?
The focused phase has done its job when the crisis is contained enough for you to think, communicate and decide without repeatedly being pulled into the same emergency. This does not necessarily mean every relationship issue has been resolved.
I review progress openly and will not encourage unnecessary dependency. You may end the work, move into less frequent sessions or continue with long-term relational development. Returning later with a new difficulty does not mean the focused work failed.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Frequently asked questions
What is eft couples therapy with you?
It is focused couples support using Emotion-Focused Therapy when painful emotions and protective reactions have taken over the relationship.
I help you slow the cycle, reach the hurt, fear or longing underneath it and create responses that restore emotional contact.
When should we come to you for eft couples therapy?
Come when emotional intensity, repeated conflict or withdrawal is making ordinary conversation impossible and the relationship needs help now.
You do not need to wait for a final rupture. In more than 21 years of practice, I have seen how quickly an untreated emotional cycle becomes entrenched.
Can EFT help us after betrayal?
Yes. EFT can help contain the focused impact of betrayal and reach the fear, grief, shame and anger surrounding the injury.
I will not rush forgiveness. I help you establish accountability, emotional understanding and the repeated actions required before trust can begin returning.
Can EFT help when one of us wants to leave?
Yes, provided both of you can participate honestly enough to clarify what the uncertainty means.
I will not pressure either partner to stay. I help you understand whether leaving is a settled decision, protection from unbearable emotion or a demand for change that has not been heard.
Can EFT help when one reaches out and the other withdraws?
Yes. This is one of the central cycles EFT helps couples understand. Fear can make one partner pursue contact while overwhelm makes the other create distance.
I help both of you reach the emotion underneath those reactions and take responsibility for expressing it in a form the other person can receive.
What happens in our first EFT session with you?
I begin with the present crisis, hear both perspectives and map the emotional sequence that keeps taking over.
By the end, I aim to give you an initial understanding and clear priorities. You should know what we are working on and what each of you needs to practise next.
How many EFT couples therapy sessions with you will we need?
One session may provide direction, but an active emotional injury or established cycle usually requires continuity.
I review progress openly and will tell you whether I recommend further focused sessions, a structured plan or a transition into longer-term couples work.
Should we attend EFT together or begin separately?
Attend together when the relationship itself is the focus and both partners can participate safely enough for joint work.
Separate work may be appropriate when one person first needs privacy to address trauma, boundaries or a personal decision. I will help you choose the format.
What does eft couples therapy with you cost?
The current session fees are available when you book an EFT couples session with me. Payment may be made by invoice and bank transfer or, where offered, by card through Stripe. The total amount payable is shown before you confirm payment.
If several sessions are appropriate, a structured therapy bundle can provide significant savings and continuity.
How do we begin eft couples therapy with you?
Book an EFT couples therapy session with me and briefly tell me what has happened and what feels most urgent.
If the available times do not reflect the urgency of your situation, contact me directly.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
Explore other services I offer
Individual psychotherapy
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