Divorced fathers therapy Copenhagen
Help to stay a steady father to your children after the divorce
I help you carry the loss, keep your bond and co-parent with a clear head
- Last updated October 23, 2026
What I want you to know as a divorced father
In this short video, I explain what separation does to a father, and how you can stay close to your children while your own life is being rebuilt.
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At a glance
Divorced fathers therapy Copenhagen helps you as a father when a separation or divorce has changed your family, your home and the time you have with your children. Sessions are just for you, 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, in English or Danish, at my practice in central Copenhagen or online.
I help you handle the grief, the handovers and the hard conversations, so you can stay present for your children and steady in yourself. I do not give legal advice and I do not take sides between parents. This page is part of therapy for fathers, under psychotherapy for men. If your baby is still very young and you are together, new fathers therapy fits better.
On a week with or without the children, you can ask for a free discovery call, book a session, read my client policy or get in touch.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
Divorced fathers therapy Copenhagen is for fathers who are separated or divorced and are struggling with what it has done to them and to their time with their children. You may miss your children badly, dread the handovers or feel pushed to the edge of their lives. You want to stay a good father and get your own feet back on the ground.
- On the weeks without your children, the flat goes silent, and you leave their bedroom door open so it feels less empty.
- The handover at the door takes 2 minutes and leaves you shaken for the rest of the evening.
- Your daughter mentions her mother’s new partner, and you smile while something in your chest drops.
- You worry that every week apart means your children are slowly getting used to life without you.
- You try to make every weekend special, then feel exhausted and sad when the children leave.
- Messages with your ex about schedules and money turn sharp within 3 lines, and you hate how you sound.
- Your son says he does not want to come this week, and you do not know whether to push or let go.
- You are an international father, far from your own family, and nobody here quite understands what you are carrying.
This is probably not for you if…
Separation raises many different questions, and some need another kind of help. If one of the lines below is nearer the mark, its link will take you somewhere more useful.
- You have no children, or your main struggle is your own life after the break. → men after divorce or breakup
- You are still together and the strain is about being a father in general. → therapy for fathers
- You and your partner are still deciding, or want help to separate well together. → divorce therapy
- Your anger at handovers or in messages has started to frighten your children or you. → anger management for men
- You are an expat going through a divorce far from family and friends. → expat divorce therapy alone
- The separation happened this week and you can hardly function. → acute psychotherapy
- Your child is a baby and you and the mother are still a couple. → new fathers therapy
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
You can also send me an email
Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“Over more than 15,000 clinical hours, I have come to believe that divorced fathers usually underestimate one thing: how much their children need them steady, not perfect. Many fathers try to win time back by being the fun parent, or they pull away because each goodbye hurts too much. Both are understandable, and both miss the point. Underneath, a father is often asking ‘Am I becoming a visitor in my own children’s lives?’, and in the same breath telling himself ‘Do not show them how much this hurts, keep it to yourself.’ My view is that children can carry a father’s sadness far better than his absence. Steady, ordinary presence is what they keep.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
Connect with me:
If you want me to call you ASAP, or if you want to book me, use the buttons below.
You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
You can also send me an email
A typical situation
Kasper is 45, a Danish teacher who separated from his wife last year. Their children are 8 and 12, and they live with him every second week. On his weeks he cooks, drives to football and checks homework. On the other weeks he works late, does not eat properly and sits in his car outside the school, not quite sure why. His 12-year-old has started saying very little at handovers. Kasper is careful never to criticise his ex in front of the children, and he has no one else to say it to.
I would start with the off-weeks, because that is where Kasper’s grief has nowhere to go. In our first session, he would probably see that his care not to burden the children is right, and that he also needs a place where his own loss is allowed.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need therapy as a divorced father with me
You have kept going for your children and kept the peace with their mother, and the loss still sits on you every week.
There is no right moment to come. If the separation is affecting your sleep, your patience, your work or your time with your children, that is enough. You do not have to wait for a breakdown or a court date. In 22 years of practice, I have seen many fathers keep up a brave face for years after a divorce, while the grief went underground. I can tell when a hard transition is settling and when it is hardening.
My professional view is that a divorced father needs his own space, separate from co-parenting logistics and legal questions. I will help you see what the separation is doing to you, what keeps it stuck and what can change. The 6 questions below are the signs I look for in fathers after a separation.
Are the weeks without your children the hardest part of your life now?
For many fathers they are. On your weeks, there is structure, noise and purpose. On the others, the flat is quiet, the evenings are long and you may fill them with work, screens, a few drinks or nothing at all. Monday mornings after a handover can be the lowest point of the week.
I would look with you at what those days hold and what you are doing with the feelings. That tells us whether you are adjusting or stuck. If the off-weeks feel like this, book a session with me.
Do you want to fight for more time and also want to keep the peace?
Both can be true. One part of you wants to stand up for your place in your children’s lives. Another part wants calm for them and fears that any push will make things worse. You may swing between firm messages and giving in.
I do not treat either part as wrong. One protects your bond with your children, the other protects them from conflict. I help you hear both, so you can act from a clear head. For legal questions, talk to a lawyer or the family law authorities. Our work is about you and how you carry it.
Do you fear your children are drifting away from you?
Many divorced fathers carry this fear. A child who is quiet on the phone, a teenager who wants to stay with friends or a mention of the other home can feel like proof you are losing them. You may try harder, plan more or ask too many questions.
That longing to stay close is legitimate, and I will not shame it. I help you calm the fear enough to be with your children as they are, without testing their loyalty. Children usually stay close to a father who stays steady and interested.
Do you long to be close to your children, then find the time together tense?
This happens often. You look forward to your week all week, then feel irritable or flat once they arrive. Or you struggle to settle with them because the goodbye is already coming. Closeness feels precious and painful at once.
I help you see what sets this off, often the fear of the next handover, guilt or anger that has nowhere else to go. I have compassion for these reactions, and I will also help you take responsibility for how they land on your children.
Do you shut down when conversations with your ex become charged?
Many fathers do. A message about schedules or money arrives, and you go cold, reply in one word or leave it for days. Distance protects you from more hurt and from saying something you will regret. But it can also leave important things unsaid.
I will not shame your need for distance. I help you understand what it protects, and find a calm, brief way to communicate about the children without being drawn into old fights. I will never take sides against your children’s mother. Our focus is how you stay steady.
Has the divorce made you question who you are as a father and a man?
Divorce can shake a man’s sense of himself. You may feel you failed your family, that you are now a part-time father or that your life has shrunk to work and alternate weeks. Shame and self-doubt are common, and rarely spoken.
I help you look at what you want to stand for as a father now. Sam Keen, in “Fire in the Belly”, writes about men whose identity rests on work and achievement, and about growing into a fuller manhood with room for feeling, friendship and care. That fuller man is often exactly the father children need after a divorce. I offer direction, not a script.
If your weeks as a separated father feel like this, ask for a free call to talk it over, or book a session if you already know you want to begin.
You can also send me an email
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What divorced fathers therapy with me will help you do
Understanding the divorce matters, but you also need to change how you handle the handovers, the empty weeks and the messages.
Working with me will help you understand what the separation has stirred in you, see the patterns that keep repeating and make changes your children can feel. Insight alone does not help you through a tense handover. The work has to reach the doorstep.
I take an active role. I tell you what I see, ask direct questions and challenge stories that keep you stuck or bitter. I have been studying men’s work since 2010, and it has added to and deepened my training as a psychotherapist. Along that road, Eli Buren, a dear friend and mentor, has been a central influence, and I have sat in his work many times. From my own practice, I believe a separated father needs other men he can talk to. These 6 questions describe what we work towards.
How will I help you see what the separation is really doing to you?
I help you find the real weight beneath the schedules and messages. The schedules, the money and the logistics are real, but often they carry something deeper: grief for the family you had, guilt about the children, fear of being replaced or anger that has not found a safe place.
I give you my honest assessment and challenge explanations like “I am fine, it is just practical”. If you want to look at what lies under the logistics, book a session with me.
How can you notice the pull into anger or despair before a handover?
You can learn to recognise it early. The day before a handover, a message from your ex or an empty seat at dinner can start it: a tight chest, a racing mind, a thought like “I am losing them”. Seeing it coming gives you the chance to meet the handover differently.
In sessions, we walk slowly through one recent handover and look at what set you off and what the reaction protected. Then we practise a calmer way through, so the next handover is about your children, not your pain.
How can you stay calm enough to be present for your children?
Staying calm does not mean hiding everything. It means staying present enough to choose your response. Children can cope with a father who is sometimes sad. What unsettles them is a father who explodes or vanishes.
I help you notice when you are flooding and find concrete ways to slow down before and after handovers: a walk, a routine, a few minutes in the car before you go in. You need to practise between sessions.
How can you communicate with your children’s mother without escalating?
Co-parenting messages work better when you know which part of the exchange is really yours. After a separation, practical messages often carry old hurt, so they turn sharp, or you give in to avoid a row.
I help you find words that are brief, respectful and specific, about the children and nothing else. I challenge both silence and point-scoring. I do not give legal advice, and I will not help you build a case against your children’s mother. I help you stay steady.
How can you make decisions about the children without guilt or fear in charge?
Decisions about schedules, schools, a move or a new partner become clearer when you separate guilt, fear and outside pressure from what you know about your children and yourself. If the separation is recent or not final, my articles on trial separation and on whether to get a divorce may help.
I help you set the options side by side and see what each would ask of you and the children. You will hear my honest view, including when I think you are steering round something. The decision stays with you, and legal decisions belong with a lawyer.
What does it look like to be a steady father after the divorce?
Lasting change reaches beyond the therapy room. It may mean a home your children feel is theirs too, simple rituals for arriving and leaving, a life on your off-weeks that feeds you, friends and other fathers to talk to, and a calmer way of dealing with their mother.
I help you choose what to change in your life after the divorce and what to protect. The aim is not to be a perfect father. It is to be a reliable one, who is recognisably himself in both weeks.
You can also send me an email
What happens when you begin divorced fathers therapy with me
You do not need to have it all sorted. I start with how you and your children are now.
In our first sessions, I listen for what the separation has cost you most as a father and give the work a direction. You do not need your whole history ready.
This is focused psychotherapy, structured individual work. It differs from divorce therapy, which helps people decide about and carry out a separation, because here the separation has happened and the focus is you as a father afterwards. If you and your ex want to work on co-parenting together, I can tell you whether couples therapy or another format fits, as couples work is long-term relational development and healing. If you want sessions fixed around the children’s schedule, therapy discounts and bundles give you real savings and an agreed plan.
What happens in our first session as a divorced father?
I ask what happened, how the arrangement with the children works, how your weeks look and what you most need help with. Every detail of the divorce can wait.
At the close of the session, I tell you what I see in your situation as a separated father and where I would suggest we go, and you decide whether that is useful. If a talk first suits you better, request a free 30-minute discovery call.
When is individual therapy the right choice for a divorced father?
Individual work fits almost every divorced father, because the questions are now about you: your grief, your fatherhood, your new life. We can talk about your children and their mother in depth without anyone else in the room.
I keep the thread across your alternate weeks and tell you honestly what I see. Psychotherapy Copenhagen describes my individual work more broadly.
When could joint sessions with your ex make sense?
Joint work can make sense when you both want to co-parent better and both are willing to come. It is not about getting back together unless you both want that.
As an EFT couples therapist, I help 2 people see the cycle between them and take responsibility for their part. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing, for couples who want to stay together or try again. If only you are willing, individual work is where to begin.
How often should you come?
Many fathers find sessions in their off-weeks work well, every second week, when there is time and space to think. In a hard period, weekly sessions help.
I will say so if the gaps between sessions are too long, or when it is fine to space them further. Sessions back-to-back over a few days are possible if your schedule is tight.
When does a bundle make sense for a divorced father?
A bundle makes sense when you know you want to work on this for a while. It fits the rhythm of alternate weeks well, and saves you deciding after every session.
For a separated father, a bundle gives significant savings and the safety of a structured plan that sits alongside the children’s schedule. I will help you judge whether one fits. You can compare them on therapy discounts and bundles and in the cards below.
How will we know the work as a divorced father is done?
It has done its job when the off-weeks feel like your life rather than a waiting room, the handovers are calmer and your children have a steady father in both homes.
I review with you, openly, whether the work is still needed, and I do not want you in therapy longer than it helps. Sessions can thin out, pause or end. Returning when your children reach a new stage is a normal part of fathering after divorce.
How it works with me
- Open with a free 30-minute call, or book your first session. Tell me briefly about the separation and your children’s ages, so I can check this is the right place.
- You come for a 1-hour appointment with 50 minutes of therapy on your own, at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or online, in English or Danish. Any day of the week between 08:00 and 21:00 Copenhagen time is possible, subject to availability.
- Many fathers come every second week, often in the weeks without their children. In a hard period we meet weekly.
- Every few sessions, we look back over the handovers, the off-weeks and your mood, and decide whether to continue, slow down or finish.
- If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start. You can see the bundles just below, or on therapy discounts and bundles.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Not sure this is the right place to start? Here is how it compares with the options separated fathers most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Divorced fathers therapy (this page) | You are a separated father and want help with yourself and your place in your children’s lives. | Every second week, often off-weeks |
| Men after divorce or breakup | Your own life after the break is the main issue, with or without children. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
| Divorce therapy | The separation is not yet settled, and you want help to do it well. | A planned course of sessions |
| Therapy for fathers | You are not separated, and fatherhood itself is the strain. | 1-hour sessions on your own |
Frequently asked questions
What is divorced fathers therapy with you?
Divorced fathers therapy is individual psychotherapy for separated or divorced fathers who are struggling with the loss, the new arrangements and their place in their children’s lives. It helps you grieve, stay steady and co-parent with a clear head. Separated fathers see me in English or Danish, in central Copenhagen or online.
I work with the whole man, including your history and your own father. I do not give legal advice. It sits within therapy for fathers.
When should I come to you as a divorced father?
Come when the separation is affecting your mood, your drinking, your work or the way you are with your children, or when months have passed and nothing has eased. Your own sense that you are not coping is enough.
I look at how isolated you are, how the off-weeks go and whether the grief is moving. Fathers who come early often protect their bond with their children better.
Can you help me stay close to my children after the divorce?
Yes, in the way that is in your hands: helping you be steady, present and interested when you are with them. I cannot change the arrangement, and I do not give legal advice. What I can offer is steady work on you, which children usually feel quickly.
In my clinical experience, the fathers who stay closest are rarely the ones who plan the most. They are the ones who can be ordinary with their children, sad sometimes, and reliable.
Will you take my side against my ex?
No. I am on your side as a person, and on your children’s side as children who need both parents. I will not help you build a case or blame their mother. That is not what helps you, and it is not what helps them.
I will help you understand your own anger and hurt, and find ways to protect your bond with your children without making them carry the conflict.
Why do I push to see my children more, then go quiet when they are here?
Because closeness and loss are tangled together now. Fighting for time protects your place. Going quiet protects you from the pain of the next goodbye. Many fathers do both. It is not a flaw.
I help you see what happens in you as a handover approaches, and practise staying present to the end of each visit. Children notice the difference.
What will we talk about in my first session?
We start with now: the arrangement, how your weeks look, what is hardest. I may ask about your own father and how your parents handled conflict, because that often shapes how a man co-parents. You leave knowing how I read the situation and where we could start.
There is nothing to prepare. Book a session in a week that suits you, or open with a free call.
How many sessions will I need?
Plan for a course over several months, often every second week. Many fathers feel steadier within a few sessions. Deeper grief, or conflict that keeps flaring, usually needs longer.
I prefer to agree a first block of sessions, timed around your weeks with the children, and then look back on it with you. That review is where you decide whether to go on.
Should I come in person or online?
Come in person if you can, as the time out of the flat often helps. Online is just as good if you live outside Copenhagen, travel or have the children with you, and sessions last just as long.
Either way, the sessions belong to my psychotherapy for men. If you are not sure which fits your weeks, we can settle it on a free call.
What does divorced fathers therapy cost?
Sessions are individual psychotherapy, 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy each. For the current price, see my prices page. An invoice follows each booking, paid by bank transfer.
Several sessions booked as a bundle save 10 per cent and come with a plan, set out on therapy discounts and bundles. Transfer the money on the same day from a Danish bank account and the price drops a further 3 per cent.
How do I book divorced fathers therapy with you?
Book a first session for yourself as a separated father, or request a free 30-minute discovery call if you want to talk first. A line about your situation is enough.
If you need a time that fits your weeks with the children, contact me directly and we will find one. Book now, and we start where you are.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
Explore other services I offer
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