New fathers therapy Copenhagen
Help for you as a new father when the first years feel too much
I help you find your feet, your place and your own way into fatherhood
- Last updated October 23, 2026
What I want you to know as a new father
In this short video, I explain why so many new fathers struggle quietly after a birth, and what helps a man find his place with his baby and his partner.
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At a glance
New fathers therapy Copenhagen helps you as a man in the first years of fatherhood, when a pregnancy, a birth or a small child has turned your life over and you are struggling more than you expected. You get an hour that is only yours, a 1-hour appointment with 50 minutes of therapy, in English or Danish, at my practice in central Copenhagen or online.
I help you make sense of the low mood, worry or feeling of being on the outside that many new fathers have, and find your footing with your baby and your partner. On the site, this page is part of therapy for fathers, under psychotherapy for men. If you are separated, divorced fathers therapy is closer.
In a gap between feeds, you can request a free discovery call, book a session, look at my client policy or contact me directly.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
New fathers therapy Copenhagen is for men who have become fathers in the last few years and are finding it harder than they expected. You may feel low, anxious, shut out or simply not yourself since the baby came. You want to understand what is happening to you and become the father and partner you hoped to be.
- You love your baby, and still feel strangely flat when you hold her, as if you are watching from a distance.
- You lie awake listening to the baby breathe, and your mind runs through everything that could go wrong.
- Your partner and the baby seem to have a world of their own, and you feel like a helper rather than a parent.
- You went back to work after your leave and feel relieved, then guilty for feeling relieved.
- You have hardly slept for months, your patience is gone, and you snap at your partner over small things.
- You and your partner have not been close in weeks, and neither of you knows how to talk about it.
- Your friends without children have drifted away, and you have nobody to tell how hard this is.
- You worry you are not cut out for this, and you would never say so out loud.
This is probably not for you if…
The first years of fatherhood bring many kinds of difficulty, and some need a different kind of help. When a line below matches you better, its link is the page to read.
- You have separated from your child’s mother, and your time with your child is changing. → divorced fathers therapy
- Your relationship has suffered since the birth, and your partner will come too. → couples therapy
- You felt low, flat or numb long before the baby arrived. → depression in men
- Work exhaustion is the bigger problem, and the baby has only made it worse. → burnout in men
- Something has happened this week and you can hardly function. → acute psychotherapy
- Your children are older, and the strain is about school years, teenagers or work and family. → therapy for fathers
- You and your partner want help as parents in general, rather than help for you as a man. → psychotherapy for parents
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
You can also send me an email
Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“Since my first client in 2004, I have watched new fathers fall through the cracks. Everyone asks how the mother and the baby are doing. Almost nobody asks the father, and he is usually the last to ask himself. So he becomes useful: he cooks, he drives, he goes back to work, and quietly he goes under. Inside, one voice asks ‘Is there still room for me in this family?’ Another says ‘I will deal with it myself, she has enough on her plate.’ And sometimes a third arrives in the night: ‘I want to be close to them both, and I want to run.’ I am convinced that a new father needs to be asked how he is, and to answer honestly.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
Connect with me:
If you want me to call you ASAP, or if you want to book me, use the buttons below.
You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
You can also send me an email
A typical situation
Felix is 33, a German product designer who has lived in Copenhagen for 6 years. His Danish girlfriend gave birth to their son 5 months ago after a long, frightening delivery. Felix took his leave, changed nappies and walked the pram around Søndermarken every afternoon. Now he is back at work and feels numb. He jumps when the baby cries, cannot stop picturing the delivery room, and has stopped seeing his friends. He tells himself he has no right to struggle, because she is the one who gave birth.
I would start with the birth itself, because Felix has not told anyone what it was like for him. In our first session, he would probably notice that he has been holding fear and helplessness from that night, and that his numbness is protecting him from it.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need new fathers therapy with me
You have done everything you could to support your partner and your baby, and you still feel lost, low or outside it all.
There is no right time or reason to come. If you feel low, anxious, numb or shut out since your child arrived, that is enough. You do not have to reach breaking point before you ask for help. In 22 years of practice, I have sat with many fathers who thought their struggle did not count because the mother had it harder. Both can be true. I can usually tell whether you are in a hard season of sleepless nights or in something that needs more attention.
My professional view is that new fathers need their own space, not only a role as support. I will help you see what the birth and the baby have stirred in you, what keeps it going and what can change. The 6 questions below are the signs in new fathers I would not ignore. If your low mood is heavy or lasting, see your GP as well.
Are you getting through the days but feeling nothing much?
Many new fathers describe exactly this. You go to work, do your share at night and smile for photos, while inside you feel flat, tired or far away. Some men become irritable rather than sad, or drink a little more, or vanish into work. It is not only mothers who can struggle after a birth.
I would look with you at when this began, whether it is lifting or getting heavier and what you are carrying alone. That tells us whether you are exhausted or in a pattern that will not lift on its own. If this is life since the baby came, book a session with me.
Do you want to be close to your baby and also want your old life back?
Both are normal, and both can live in you at once. One part of you is moved by your child and wants to be there for every moment. Another part misses freedom, sleep, spontaneity and your partner’s full attention. You may feel ashamed of the second part.
I do not treat it as a betrayal of your child. It is grief for a life that has changed. I help you hear both sides, so you can mourn what has gone and step more fully into what has come.
Do you worry constantly that something will happen to your baby?
Many new fathers do and tell no one. You check the cot, look up symptoms at 3 in the morning, picture accidents and feel your heart race when the baby is quiet too long. The reassurance lasts minutes.
That protective alarm makes sense when you suddenly love someone so small, and I will not shame it. I help you calm it enough to enjoy your child, and look at what else it may carry, such as a frightening birth or an old fear of losing someone.
Do you long to be close to your partner and child, then pull away?
This is common after a birth. You come home wanting to hold them both, then feel crowded and leave the room. You want your partner back, then feel rejected when she is tired and pull away first. Closeness feels both needed and too much.
I help you slow this down and see what sets off each shift, often feeling useless, unwanted or criticised. I respect these reactions, and I will also ask you to take responsibility for the ones that leave your partner alone.
Do you feel shut out, and withdraw into work or your phone?
Many new fathers feel like outsiders. Your partner and the baby have rhythms and a closeness you are not part of. Advice from health visitors and relatives goes to her. So you step back, take on extra work or scroll in the evening, and the distance grows.
I will not shame your need for space. I help you see what the withdrawal protects you from, often a fear of not being good enough, and find ways to claim your place: a bath you always give, a walk that is yours, a clear request to your partner. My article on the mental load can help you both talk about who carries what.
Has becoming a father left you unsure who you are?
Fatherhood changes a man’s identity faster than he can follow. The man who went climbing, travelled or worked late is gone, and the new one does not feel finished yet. You may feel lost, ashamed of not coping or unsure what kind of father you want to be.
I help you look at what you want to keep from before, what you want to build and what you want to do differently from your own father. In passing, Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette’s “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover” offers a useful picture here: the mature King in a man, who brings order and gives his blessing to those in his care. I offer direction, not a template.
If early fatherhood feels like this for you, ask for a free call to talk it through, or book a session if you already know you want to start.
You can also send me an email
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What new fathers therapy with me will help you do
Understanding why early fatherhood is hard matters, but you also need changes you can feel at 3 in the morning and at teatime.
Working with me will help you understand what this stage is stirring in you, see the patterns that are taking hold and make changes your family can feel. Insight alone does not help you through a night of crying. The work has to reach daily life.
I take an active role. I tell you what I notice in you since the birth, ask plain questions and question the stories that keep you stuck. Men’s work, which I have studied since 2010, adds to and deepens my training as a psychotherapist, and it helps me talk with new fathers about strength, tenderness and finding their own place. These 6 questions describe what we work towards.
How will I help you see what is really going on for you?
I help you see the real difficulty beneath the noise of early parenthood. Sleep loss, rows about chores and a quiet sex life are real, but often they are symptoms. Underneath may be a frightening birth, a sense of being replaced, fear of failing or old feelings about your own father.
I tell you what I see and question explanations like “every dad feels this, just get on with it”. If you want to look underneath the tiredness, book a session with me.
How can you notice the slide into irritation or numbness earlier?
You can learn to catch it. A crying baby, a sharp word from your partner or a long day can set it off: tight shoulders, a sinking feeling, a thought like “I am useless here”. Noticing that first sinking feeling gives you room to respond differently.
In sessions, we go through one bad evening slowly and find what the reaction is shielding you from. Then we practise a different response, so that the next bad evening does not end in silence or a row.
How can you stay steady when you are exhausted and the baby will not settle?
Staying steady does not mean feeling nothing. It means staying present enough to choose how you respond. Exhaustion lowers everyone’s threshold, and frustration with a crying baby is normal. What matters is what you do with it.
I help you notice the moment your body moves into alarm and find concrete ways to slow it, such as putting the baby down safely and stepping out for a minute, breathing, asking for help. You need to practise this between sessions. My article on burnout symptoms can help if you are running on empty.
How can you tell your partner what you need without sounding selfish?
Talking to your partner after a birth starts with knowing what you feel and need yourself. Many new fathers stay silent because she has it harder, then resentment builds and leaks out.
I help you find honest, proportionate words for your partner, such as “I want time with the baby on my own, without being corrected”, or “I miss us”. I challenge you when you swallow everything, and also when you expect your partner to notice without being told.
How can you make decisions about work, leave and family without guilt in charge?
Decisions about leave, going part-time, childcare or another child become clearer when you separate guilt, duty and other people’s views from what you actually value.
I help you weigh the choices and what each would mean for you, your partner and the baby. I will tell you what I think, and say so if you seem to be avoiding the decision. The decision stays with you and your partner.
What does it look like to be a new father in a way that fits you?
Lasting change reaches beyond the therapy room. It may mean your own routines with the baby, a regular evening for you and your partner, a friend you can be honest with, sleep shared more fairly and time for yourself without guilt.
I help you decide what this new life needs from you and what can stay as it is. The goal is not to become a perfect father. It is to be present, recognisably yourself, and part of your family rather than standing at its edge.
You can also send me an email
What happens when you begin new fathers therapy with me
You do not need to know what is wrong. I start with how you are now and what you want to be different.
At the start, I listen for what is hardest for you since the birth and give the work a direction. You do not need to explain your whole history.
This is focused psychotherapy, structured individual work. It differs from psychotherapy for parents, which looks at parenthood for mothers and fathers of any age of child, because here the focus is you as a man in the first years of fatherhood. If the strain sits mainly between you and your partner and she will come, couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. If you want the sessions fixed in the calendar before the baby’s next growth spurt, therapy discounts and bundles give you real savings and an agreed plan.
What happens in our first session as a new father?
I ask how you are, how the pregnancy and birth were for you, how your days and nights look now and what you most need help with. I listen for what you have not said to anyone. Nothing has to be prepared.
As the session closes, I tell you how I understand what you are going through as a new father and what I would suggest next, and you decide whether that helps. For a talk before booking, request a free 30-minute discovery call.
When is individual therapy the right choice for a new father?
Individual work fits when the focus is you: your mood, your fear, your sense of being shut out, your memories of the birth or your own childhood. Many new fathers need a place that is only theirs before they can talk well with their partner.
Across sessions, I keep the thread and tell you honestly what I see. Psychotherapy Copenhagen describes my individual work more broadly.
When should new parents choose couples therapy together?
Choose couples therapy when the relationship itself needs attention: you have become flatmates who share a baby, rows are constant, or closeness has gone and both of you want it back. Both of you need to be willing.
As an EFT couples therapist, I help both partners see the cycle between them and find each other again as parents and as a couple. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing.
How often should you come?
That depends on how hard things are and how much time a small child leaves you. If you are struggling badly, sessions close together help at first. Later, every second week works well.
I will tell you if the gaps get too long to build anything, and when it is safe to slow down. Online sessions in the evening can make it easier to fit therapy around naps and nights.
When does a bundle make sense for a new father?
A bundle makes sense when you know you want to stay with this work beyond the first few weeks. New fathers are good at cancelling themselves first. A planned course protects the time.
With a small child, a bundle offers significant savings and the safety of a structured plan that is already in the calendar. I will help you judge whether one fits. See the choices on therapy discounts and bundles and in the cards below.
How will we know the new fathers work is done?
It has done its job when you feel like yourself again, close to your child, part of your family and able to talk with your partner about what is hard.
We talk openly about how far you have come, and I do not encourage therapy that runs on out of habit. Sessions can thin out, pause or end. If a second child brings you back, that is a new stage, not a sign the first round failed.
How it works with me
- Start with a short free 30-minute call, or book your first session. Tell me in a sentence how old your child is and how you are, so I can check this is the right page.
- The first session is a 1-hour appointment with 50 minutes of therapy for you, at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or online, in English or Danish, at a time between 08:00 and 21:00 Copenhagen time, 7 days a week, subject to availability.
- New fathers usually come weekly or every second week to begin with, fitted around the family’s rhythm.
- Every few sessions, we see what has changed since the birth and decide whether to continue, slow down, bring in couples therapy or finish.
- If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start. You can see the bundles just below, or on therapy discounts and bundles.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Not sure this is the right starting point? Here is how it compares with the options new fathers most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| New fathers therapy (this page) | You are a man in the first years of fatherhood and struggling more than you expected. | Weekly or every second week |
| Therapy for fathers | Your children are older and the strain is about family life as a whole. | 1-hour sessions on your own |
| Psychotherapy for parents | You want help with parenthood in general, as a mother or a father. | 1-hour sessions on your own |
| Couples therapy | The relationship with your partner has suffered since the birth and you both want help. | Longer joint sessions |
Frequently asked questions
What is new fathers therapy with you?
New fathers therapy is individual psychotherapy for men in the first years of fatherhood who are struggling with low mood, worry, numbness, irritability or feeling shut out. It gives you your own space to understand what is happening and find your place. New fathers see me in English or Danish, in central Copenhagen or online.
I work with the whole man: the birth, your relationship, your own father and the man you want to be. It sits within therapy for fathers.
When should I come to you as a new father?
Come when the low mood, worry or distance has lasted more than a few weeks, or when people close to you say you are not yourself. You do not need to wait. Your own sense that something is wrong is enough.
I look at how long it has lasted, how much you are sleeping, whether you are withdrawing and whether something about the birth is still with you. If your mood is very low, see your GP as well.
Can fathers really struggle after a birth too?
Yes. Fathers can also struggle after a birth, with low mood, anxiety or a feeling of being shut out. In men it often shows as irritability, overwork, drinking or numbness rather than tears, so it goes unnoticed. Therapy can help you understand it and find your way back, though I cannot promise how quickly.
In my clinical experience, new fathers who struggle are often the ones who were most determined to be strong for everyone else. I would focus with you on what you have been holding back.
My partner suggested I talk to someone. Is that a good reason to come?
Yes, if part of you agrees. Many new fathers come because a partner noticed first. That is a sign of care, not a criticism. We start with what you want.
I will not take sides between you and your partner. I will help you look at what is happening in you. If it is not helping after a few sessions, you can stop without fuss.
Why do I want to help with the baby and then hold back?
Because closeness to a baby can feel tender and frightening at once, especially if you feel unskilled, watched or corrected. So you step in, then step back and let your partner take over. It is not a lack of love. It is protection.
I help you see what happens just before you hold back, and practise staying in: a nappy change done your way, a bedtime that belongs to you. Confidence comes from contact.
What will we talk about in the first session?
We start with how you are now and how things have been since the birth. I ask about the pregnancy and delivery as you experienced them, your relationship, your sleep, and a little about your own father. You go home with my early sense of what is weighing on you.
Come as tired as you are. Book a session around the baby’s rhythm, or begin with a free call.
How many sessions will I need?
Plan for a course over a couple of months, weekly or every second week. Many new fathers feel steadier within a few sessions. A frightening birth, or patterns from your own childhood, usually need longer.
With a baby at home, time is precious, so I suggest a short agreed run of sessions and then a proper look at what has changed. You choose with me what happens after that.
Should I come in person or online?
Come in person if you can, because an hour out of the house can be part of the help. Online works well too, especially with a baby at home, and sessions last just as long.
Both ways of meeting are part of my psychotherapy for men. If you are weighing the 2 against nap times, we can work it out on a free call.
What does new fathers therapy cost?
It is individual psychotherapy in 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy. My prices page shows what a session costs at the moment. I invoice you, and you pay by bank transfer.
If you expect several sessions, a bundle saves 10 per cent and gives you a set plan, as explained on therapy discounts and bundles. Paying the invoice the same day from a Danish bank account brings it down by another 3 per cent.
How do I book new fathers therapy with you?
Book your first session as a new father, or request a free 30-minute discovery call if you want to talk first. One line about how you are is enough.
If you are struggling badly and nothing is soon enough, contact me directly. For a father who is going under, I can usually find a time within days. Book now, and we start with you.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
Explore other services I offer
Individual psychotherapy
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