Men’s sexuality therapy Copenhagen
A private place to understand your desire and your closeness
I help you bring desire, honesty and presence back together
- Last updated October 17, 2026
What I want men to know about sex and closeness
In this short video, I explain why so many men keep their sexual worries to themselves, and what changes once you can talk about them plainly with someone who does not flinch.
You can also send me an email
At a glance
Men’s sexuality therapy Copenhagen helps you understand and change what is happening in your sexual life: desire that has faded, closeness that has started to feel like pressure, or a part of yourself you keep hidden. It is private, one-to-one work: 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, in English or Danish, at my practice in central Copenhagen or online, whichever feels easier to talk in.
I am a psychotherapist, not a doctor or a sexologist. I help you understand the feelings and patterns around your sexuality, so desire stops being something you have to prove. It is the main branch for sex and intimacy within my psychotherapy for men. When one theme dominates, I offer more focused help with performance anxiety and compulsive porn use.
From here, you can request a free discovery call, book a session straight away, read my client policy first or contact me directly with a question.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
Men’s sexuality therapy Copenhagen is for men who feel that something in their sexual life has gone wrong, gone quiet or gone underground. You want to talk about it plainly and feel at home in your own desire again.
- You have stopped reaching for your partner in bed, because one more no would hurt more than you could ever say out loud.
- You and your partner want sex at very different rates, and the subject has turned into a cold war neither of you mentions.
- You notice desire for colleagues or strangers on the street, yet very little for the person you actually love and live with.
- Since the children arrived, the 2 of you have become good teammates at home, and you cannot remember feeling like lovers.
- You grew up in a family or a faith where sex was never spoken about, and part of that silence still lives in your body.
- You are single after a long relationship and feel oddly unsure of yourself, as if you have forgotten how to be close to anyone.
- You have private questions about what you want or who you are drawn to, and nobody in your life you could ask.
- You joke about sex with friends at the bar, while privately feeling flat, lonely or confused about the whole subject.
This is probably not for you if…
Some sexual worries need more focused help. If one of these sounds more like you, start with the page linked.
- Fear of failing in bed, or of your body letting you down, is the main thing you want help with. → performance anxiety therapy
- Porn has become a secret habit that you cannot stop, even when you want to. → compulsive porn use therapy
- Sex is one worry among several, and you want to look at your life as a man more broadly. → psychotherapy for men
- Your partner will not come, and you want to work on the relationship itself rather than on your own sexuality. → couples therapy alone
- The problem lives between you and your partner, and your partner is willing to come with you. → couples therapy
- An affair, yours or your partner’s, has just come out and is the centre of everything. → men after infidelity
- Closeness and conflict at home trouble you more than sex itself does. → therapy for men in relationships
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
You can also send me an email
Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“In the last few months alone, I have sat with man after man who treats his sex life as a technical fault to be repaired in private, and I think that is exactly what keeps him stuck. Very little of it is mechanical. Under the silence in the bedroom I hear ‘Does my partner still want me, or am I only useful now?’ and, right beside it, ‘I will sort this out myself, nobody needs to know.’ Some men carry both in the same evening: ‘Come close to me, but do not see how unsure I am.’ When a man can say those sentences out loud, his desire often starts to find its way home.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
Connect with me:
If you want me to call you ASAP, or if you want to book me, use the buttons below.
You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
You can also send me an email
A typical situation
Mateo is 38, a product manager from Valencia who has lived in Copenhagen for 7 years with his partner Line and their 2 young children. They have not slept together in 8 months. After a few refusals, Mateo stopped asking. He works late, reads the news in bed until Line is asleep and tells his friends everything is fine. He misses sex and cannot find a way to raise it.
I would start not with the bedroom but with the evening Mateo stopped asking, and what he told himself then. In our first session, he would probably notice that being turned down touched a much older feeling of being too much, and that his silence protects him from it.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need men’s sexuality therapy with me
You have tried to ignore it, joke about it or fix it on your own, and the distance around sex has not gone away.
There is no single right time or right reason to talk to someone about your sexuality. A sense that sex has become tension instead of connection, or that you have quietly given up on part of yourself, is enough. You do not need a diagnosis, a crisis or the perfect words before you come to see me. In 22 years of practice, I have learned to recognise when these patterns have hardened and need proper attention.
In sessions, I usually begin by helping you see what actually happens around desire and closeness in your life, what keeps it in place and what needs to change. Use these 6 questions to judge whether now is the moment to book.
Has sex become something you avoid, postpone or get through?
If it has, take it seriously, even if it does not look dramatic. You go to bed later than your partner, stay on your phone, feel a small relief when the lights go out and nothing is expected.
I would look at when this began and what else was changing then. If anything physical has changed, see your GP as well, because some causes are medical. If this is your evening routine too, book a session with me.
Do you long for more desire and also feel relieved when nothing happens?
Both feelings can be true, because they protect different things. One part of you misses passion, play and the feeling of being wanted. Another part is glad to avoid the risk of rejection or of feeling exposed. Afterwards you feel guilty, and the guilt makes the next attempt even harder.
I do not treat the cautious part as the enemy and the longing part as the hero. I help you understand what each one is guarding, so that your choices about intimacy become deliberate instead of a quiet tug of war.
Do you take every no as proof that you are no longer wanted?
Many men do, though few say so. A tired “not tonight” lands like a verdict on your worth. You start counting the weeks and reading your partner’s mood for signs. The fear of not mattering is running the show.
Your wish to be desired is legitimate, and I will not shame it. What I help you change is the alarm that fires before you know what the no actually meant. We look at what the rejection touches in you, and you practise saying what you miss directly, without sulking or keeping score. My article on the sexless marriage describes how this cycle often develops.
Do you want closeness, and then pull away as soon as it is offered?
This happens more often than men admit. You complain that there is no intimacy, and then when your partner reaches for you, something in you tightens. You want to be held and you want to be left alone, sometimes within the same hour.
I help you slow this down in the room, so we can find the exact point where wanting turns into bracing. I respect the reflex, and I also help you find steadier ways to move towards closeness, and to pause without disappearing.
Do you shut down when your partner wants to talk about sex?
A great many men do. The moment the subject comes up, you go factual, make a joke, change the topic or suddenly have emails to answer. Your partner is left guessing, and the guessing turns into hurt, which makes you want to escape even more.
My view is that your need for distance is doing a job, and I will not shame you for it. I help you understand what it protects you from so that you can stay in the conversation a little longer without feeling swallowed up. You learn to say “I want to talk about this, but not tonight, let us do it on Sunday” before the silence turns into a wall.
Have you lost touch with what you actually want as a man?
After years of adapting to a partner, to children, to work or to what you think a man should be, it is easy to lose track of your own desire. You may have shaped yourself around keeping the peace, or around an image borrowed from friends, films or your father. None of this means something in you is broken.
I help you look at which parts of your sexuality are genuinely yours and which are habits, fears or other people’s rules. I will challenge you, but I will not hand you a new identity. The aim is clarity about who you are and what kind of intimacy fits you.
If you recognise yourself here, request a free call to talk it through first, or book a session if you already know you want to start.
You can also send me an email
Contact me
Request a personal call
Your journey is unique, and you do not have to walk it alone.
Fill out your contact information and I will call as soon as possible.
Support when you need it most.
Your message is treated confidentially and used only to respond to your enquiry. It is not sold or used for advertising. Please avoid including detailed or highly sensitive clinical information in this form. Information about processing, service providers and retention is available in the privacy policy.
Get in touch
What men’s sexuality therapy with me will help you do
Understanding why sex has become difficult matters, but you also need the work to change how you touch, talk, ask and stay present.
Men’s sexuality therapy with me will help you understand what is happening around desire and intimacy, see the patterns that keep it stuck and make changes you can feel at home and in your body. Insight matters, but insight without change rarely brings relief.
My core work is psychotherapy. Beside it, I have been a student of men’s work since 2010, with Eli Buren, a dear friend and mentor, as a central influence. Here I often bring in David Deida’s “The Way of the Superior Man”, which is about living from your deepest purpose and being present in intimacy rather than performing, and the Lover from Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette’s “King, Warrior, Magician, Lover”, the part of a man that feels and connects. This adds to and deepens my training as a psychotherapist. In sessions, I guide and challenge you rather than only listen. These 6 questions describe what we work towards.
How will I help you see what is really going on with your desire?
I help you separate the heart of the problem from everything that has grown around it. Low desire, avoidance and long silences are often consequences rather than causes. Underneath you will usually find specific feelings and beliefs: resentment that has never been spoken, fear of being found wanting, grief about how the relationship has changed, or a family rule that said needs were selfish.
I tell you what I think is going on, what deserves attention first and which explanations keep you stuck, such as “men my age just lose interest”. If you want to start mapping it, book a session with me.
How can you notice the moment you leave your body and go into your head?
You can learn to catch it, and that is often where change starts. For many men, intimacy goes wrong at a precise point: a thought about how you are doing, a tightening in the chest, a sudden urge to get it over with or to make a joke.
Deida writes about a man’s presence in intimacy, and I find it useful here: presence is something you can practise. I help you slow the sequence down and see what sets it off. We practise a different response, in the room and between sessions, until you can use it on an ordinary evening at home.
How can you stay steady when shame or frustration rises around sex?
Staying steady does not mean pushing the feeling away or pretending you do not care. It means staying present enough to notice what is happening and choose what you do next.
I help you notice the rise earlier and understand what your body is reacting to, often something it learned long before this relationship. We find simple ways of slowing the reaction that suit you. Be prepared to practise between sessions, because that is where it takes hold.
How can you talk to your partner about sex without blaming or going silent?
It starts with knowing what you actually feel, what you want and what belongs to you rather than to your partner. Many men raise the subject only once they are resentful, so it comes out as an accusation, or never comes out at all.
I help you find a way of saying it that is honest, concrete and kind. I will challenge you when you keep quiet to avoid a scene, and I will also challenge you when you make your partner responsible for every feeling you have about sex. We often rehearse the real conversation in the room first. My article on fear of intimacy may also help you put words to it.
How can you decide what you want from your sex life without guilt deciding for you?
Clearer decisions come when you separate guilt, duty, habit and other people’s expectations from what you actually know and want. You may wonder whether to accept less, push for more or even leave.
I help you look honestly at your options, their likely consequences and what each would ask of you. I will give you my view, and I will point it out when you are avoiding a decision. I will not make the choice for you. If an affair is part of the picture, men after infidelity goes deeper into that.
What does a sexuality that fits the man you are look like?
Lasting change has to reach beyond the therapy room. You may need time together without screens, more honesty about what you enjoy, or simply more rest.
Together we sort out what in your sex life needs to change and what is fine as it is. Moore and Gillette describe the Lover as the part of a man that feels deeply and connects, and they show that it has a shadow side when it is wounded, where a man either loses himself in pleasure or goes numb. The goal is not to remake you, but to help you live your sexuality with warmth and responsibility.
You can also send me an email
What happens when you begin men’s sexuality therapy with me
You do not need the right words, a diagnosis or a tidy story. We start with your life as it is today and what you would like to feel differently.
From the first meeting, I listen closely, help you put a name to the central difficulty and set a clear direction. I will never ask for explicit detail you do not want to give.
This work is a focused form of psychotherapy, structured individual work on your inner life and your relationships. If it turns out the difficulty lives mostly between you and your partner, and they are willing, couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. For longer work, therapy discounts and bundles give you savings and a plan agreed in advance.
What happens in our first session about your sexuality?
In our first session, I ask what made you decide to come now, what is hardest at the moment, what you have already tried and what you would like to be different. Your full life story can come later, if at all.
At the end of the hour, I tell you how I read the situation and what I would suggest. Prefer a conversation before you commit? Request a free 30-minute discovery call.
When should you work on your sexuality on your own with me?
Individual work is the right choice when the difficulty lives mainly in you: in your feelings about your body, your history with sex, your shame, your fears or your sense of yourself as a man. We can explore the relationship thoroughly without your partner attending.
Working one to one, I keep the thread from session to session, give you direction and say honestly what I see. For the wider picture of my structured individual work, see Psychotherapy Copenhagen.
When should you bring your partner into couples therapy instead?
Choose couples therapy when the relationship as a whole needs steady, shared attention. If every attempt to talk about sex ends in the same argument, if trust has been damaged, or if one of you keeps reaching while the other retreats, working together often helps more.
In couples work, I help you both see the cycle between you, take responsibility for your own part and build safer ways of being close. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing. Some men begin alone with me and invite their partner in later.
How often should you come?
The right pace depends on how much the difficulty is affecting your life, how much room you have right now and how much continuity the work needs. Sexual worries tend to hide again if the gaps are long.
I suggest starting with a session each week or every other week. I will tell you honestly if the sessions are too far apart, or if the work is ready to become less frequent. Several sessions back-to-back over a few days are also possible if your work or travel makes a weekly rhythm hard.
When does a bundle make sense for this work?
A bundle makes sense when you already know the work will take several sessions and you want continuity rather than deciding after each appointment whether to come back. With a subject this private, it is easy to cancel the week it gets uncomfortable.
A bundle brings significant savings, and the agreed structure is a kind of safety in itself. The options are on therapy discounts and bundles, and in the bundle cards further down this page.
How will we know when desire and closeness feel like yours again?
Therapy has done its job when you have more ownership, clarity and choice around your sexuality, and when the original difficulty has changed enough that you can carry on without the same support.
We review progress together in plain words, and I have no interest in keeping you in therapy longer than you need. When the work has done its part, we space sessions out, pause or stop. Returning years later with a new question is not a sign that anything failed.
How it works with me
- Ask for a free 30-minute call, or go straight to booking your first session. A short line about what is troubling you is enough.
- Your first appointment lasts one hour, 50 minutes of it therapy, with only you and me in the room at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen, or online, in English or Danish. Appointments run 08:00 to 21:00 Copenhagen time, 7 days a week, subject to availability.
- In the early weeks we normally meet weekly or every 2 weeks. If anything physical has changed, I will ask you to see your GP alongside our work.
- Every few sessions, we review what has shifted and decide whether to keep the pace, invite your partner into couples work, space sessions out or finish.
- If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start. You can see the bundles just below.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Not sure this is the right starting point? Here is how it compares with the nearest options.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Men’s sexuality therapy (this page) | Desire, closeness or your sense of yourself as a sexual man has become a source of distance or worry. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
| Psychotherapy for men | Sex is one thread among several, alongside work, mood, friendships or family. | 1-hour sessions at a pace you choose |
| Performance anxiety therapy | Fear of failing in bed, or of losing an erection, is the main thing you want help with. | A focused course of 1-hour sessions |
| Compulsive porn use therapy | Porn has become a habit you hide and cannot stop, and it is crowding out real closeness. | Regular sessions close together at first |
Frequently asked questions
What is men’s sexuality therapy with you?
Men’s sexuality therapy with me is individual psychotherapy for men whose desire, intimacy or sense of themselves as sexual beings has become a source of worry, distance or shame. It is talking therapy, not medical treatment. Sessions are private, in English or Danish, at my central Copenhagen practice or online.
I work in depth with the whole man: your feelings, your body, your relationships and what you inherited about sex from your family and culture. It is a main branch of my psychotherapy for men, and the place to start when sex and closeness are what you most want to understand.
When should I come to you about sex and intimacy?
Come when the subject has started to cost you closeness, sleep, self-respect or peace at home, or when you notice yourself avoiding your partner, or avoiding dating altogether. Your own sense that something is wrong is enough.
In 22 years of practice, I have learned to look at how long the difficulty has lasted and whether it is spreading into ordinary affection. If it has lasted for months, it deserves attention.
Can therapy help if my desire seems to have simply disappeared?
Often, yes. Desire rarely vanishes for no reason. It goes quiet under stress, resentment, grief, exhaustion or fear, and it can come back when those are understood and addressed. I am not a doctor, so I always recommend a check with your GP too, for any physical causes.
In my clinical experience, men who say they have lost all interest often discover that their desire has not died but gone into hiding. I would focus with you on what it is hiding from, and what it would need in order to return.
My partner pushed me to come. Is that a good enough reason?
Yes. Many men first come because someone who loves them said they should. It often means your partner has seen something you have been too busy, or too proud, to look at.
What matters is that the work becomes yours. In the first session, I will ask what you think is going on, not what your partner thinks, and we will look for what you want for yourself.
Why do I pull away, and then feel hurt when my partner pulls away too?
Because both of you are trying to protect yourselves, and the protections fit together like a lock. You retreat to avoid feeling pressured or inadequate. Your partner feels the retreat as rejection and either pushes harder or gives up.
I help you recognise your own move under pressure, what it is trying to achieve and what it costs you both. Then we practise staying a little longer, and saying what you need without blame.
Will I have to describe intimate details in the first session?
No. We start with what is happening now and how it affects you, not with explicit details. I ask what made you come, how the difficulty shows up in your life and relationship, what you have tried and what you hope for. Before you leave, I share how I understand the difficulty so far and where I suggest we go.
You do not need to prepare anything. Whenever it feels right, book your first session, or try a free discovery call before deciding.
How many sessions will I need?
Plan for a course over a few months rather than one conversation, with sessions weekly or every second week. If the difficulty is tied up with older experiences or a long history of shame, it usually needs longer.
I would rather you commit to a clear first stretch and review it honestly than drift. At each review we look at what has shifted in you and at home, and decide together whether to carry on, space sessions out or finish.
Should I come alone, or bring my partner?
Start alone if the difficulty feels like yours, if you need to speak freely before you can speak with your partner, or if you are single. Come together if you both see the problem as shared and both want to work on it.
When you start alone, you are working within my wider psychotherapy for men, in English or Danish. Still unsure? We can work it out together on a free call before you book anything.
What does men’s sexuality therapy with you cost?
Individual psychotherapy with me runs in 1-hour appointments, 50 minutes of which are therapy. The current price is on my prices page. Payment is by invoice and bank transfer.
Planning several sessions? A bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives the work a structured plan. The bundle options are listed on therapy discounts and bundles. Paying by same-day transfer from a Danish bank account takes off a further 3 per cent.
How do I book men’s sexuality therapy with you?
The simplest step is to book your first session, or to request a free 30-minute discovery call if you want to talk first. You only need to tell me briefly what is on your mind.
If none of the available times suit you, or something has just happened that feels urgent, contact me directly. I keep some room free for acute cases, and can usually offer a time within days. Book the session, and we will begin from where you are.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
Explore other services I offer
Individual psychotherapy
Join the newsletter community
Join the newsletter and receive five practical tips for nurturing healthy relationships – with yourself and the people around you.
No spam. Just mindful insights.