Compulsive porn use therapy Copenhagen
Help to understand a habit you keep going back to
I help you find what the habit soothes, without shame or lectures
- Last updated October 17, 2026
What I want you to know about a porn habit you cannot stop
In this short video, I explain why willpower and strict rules rarely end a porn habit, and what changes when you get curious about what it does for you.
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At a glance
Compulsive porn use therapy Copenhagen helps men who keep returning to porn when they would rather not, and who feel it is costing them sleep, closeness or self-respect. You and I meet one to one in 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, in English or Danish, in central Copenhagen or online.
I do not lecture, label or diagnose you. I help you understand what the habit soothes, what keeps it secret and what you need instead, so you can choose your own way forward. You will find it under men’s sexuality therapy, inside my wider psychotherapy for men.
To take the next step, request a free discovery call, book a session, read my client policy or contact me directly in confidence.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
Compulsive porn use therapy Copenhagen is for men who keep going back to porn when they do not want to, and who feel it now takes more than it gives. You may have tried to stop many times. You want to understand the habit and build a life that needs it less.
- You promise yourself on Sunday that this week will be different, and by Wednesday night you are back where you started.
- You stay up long after your partner has gone to bed, and you are tired and short-tempered the next morning.
- You clear your browser history with practised care, and the secrecy has begun to weigh more than the habit itself.
- You reach for it most after a hard day, a row or a lonely evening, almost before you notice the feeling.
- You find real closeness with your partner harder than it used to be, and you wonder whether the 2 are connected.
- Your partner has found out, and the hurt in their face has stayed with you longer than any argument could.
- The time it takes has started to cut into your sleep, your work or the friendships you used to make time for.
- You feel low afterwards every time, and you suspect that feeling is part of what sends you back.
This is probably not for you if…
Some situations are better served by a different page. If one of these describes you more closely, the linked page will suit you better.
- Your questions are wider: desire, distance at home or who you are drawn to. → men’s sexuality therapy
- Your main worry is failing with a partner, not the habit itself. → performance anxiety therapy
- Alcohol, drugs, gambling or several habits at once trouble you more than porn alone. → addiction therapy
- Your partner has found out, the relationship is now the focus, and your partner will come too. → couples therapy
- The habit is one theme among several in your life as a man. → psychotherapy for men
- A discovery has just turned your home upside down, and you need help this week. → acute psychotherapy
- Underneath it all, you have nobody to talk to, and the loneliness is the bigger problem. → therapy for lonely men
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
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Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“Of all the men I see, the ones who loosen a porn habit are rarely the ones with the strictest rules. They are the ones who stop treating themselves as a problem to be policed and get curious about what the habit gives them. Usually it is relief from a feeling nobody else is allowed to see. Underneath I hear ‘If they knew all of me, would they still respect me?’ and ‘I will deal with this on my own, it is nobody else’s business.’ Often, in the same man, ‘I want someone close, and I want a door I can lock.’ Shame keeps the door locked. Honest company opens it.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
Connect with me:
If you want me to call you ASAP, or if you want to book me, use the buttons below.
You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
You can also send me an email
A typical situation
Samuel is 44, a British engineer who moved to Copenhagen with his wife and 2 teenage sons. Work is demanding and the evenings feel long. Most nights, after everyone has gone to bed, he sits up with his laptop for an hour or more. He has deleted apps, set limits and promised himself to stop. Last month his wife saw his screen. What hurt her most was the secrecy, and now they barely talk.
I would not start with rules. I would start with the hour before the laptop opens, and what Samuel feels at half past ten when the house goes quiet. In our first session, he would probably notice that the habit arrives when he feels most alone and least seen, and that he has handled that feeling in secret for years.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need compulsive porn use therapy with me
You have tried apps, rules and fresh starts, and still the evenings end the same way.
There is no right moment to seek help with this, and no amount you have to reach first. If you feel the habit is running you, that you are hiding more than you want to, or that it is getting between you and the people you love, that is reason enough. You do not need a diagnosis or a crisis. In 22 years of practice, I have sat with many men carrying this in silence, and I can tell when a habit has become a pattern that needs proper help.
In sessions, I begin by helping you see what the habit is doing for you, what keeps it in place and what needs to change. I will be direct and I will not judge you. Let these 6 questions help you decide whether to book.
Has the habit started to eat into your sleep, work or evenings?
If it has, take that seriously. It often starts small, a few minutes to wind down, and grows into hours. You go to bed late, wake up foggy and feel flat at work. You may cancel plans, skip training or avoid going to bed at the same time as your partner.
I would look at when it grew, what was happening in your life then and whether it rises with stress, loneliness or conflict. That tells us whether this is a rough patch or a pattern with deeper roots. If your evenings look like this, book a session with me.
Do you want to stop, and also dread losing your one way to switch off?
Both feelings make sense. One part of you is tired of the secrecy and the lost evenings. Another part relies on the habit as the only reliable way to shut off pressure, boredom or sadness. You may delete everything in a burst of resolve, then feel restless and empty a few days later.
I do not treat the part that wants porn as an enemy to defeat. It is trying to look after you, in a clumsy way. I help you understand what each part needs, so you can find other ways to meet that need and make your own choices.
Do you go to it most when you feel rejected or unseen?
For many men, that is exactly when it happens. A partner turns away, a message goes unanswered, a meeting goes badly, and within an hour you are online. On a screen, nobody says no and nobody is disappointed in you. The relief is quick, and so is the emptiness afterwards.
Your need to feel wanted is real, and I will not shame it. I help you notice the sting of rejection as it happens and find ways to bring that need to real people. My article on struggling in silence describes how often men carry this alone.
Do you long for real intimacy, then reach for the screen instead?
This is one of the most painful parts of the pattern. You want closeness with a partner, or you want to meet someone. When a real chance comes, it feels risky, so you reach for something that asks nothing of you. Then you feel further away than before.
I help you slow this down and find the moment the wish for closeness turns into a wish to escape. I have compassion for that move, and I will also help you take responsibility for its effect on the people around you, so you can stay a little longer with what is real.
Do you retreat into your screen when closeness or conflict feels like too much?
Many men use the habit as a door they can close. When a partner wants to talk, when there is tension at home or when feelings rise, you withdraw into the laptop. It gives you control. The cost is that the people close to you lose you, often without knowing why.
My view is that your need for space is legitimate. The problem is a private space that nobody else knows about. I help you understand what the retreat protects you from, and learn to say “I need an hour on my own” openly, instead of disappearing.
Has the secret started to shape how you see yourself as a man?
Keeping a part of your life hidden for years changes how you feel about yourself. You may play the reliable father, colleague or partner by day while privately feeling like a fraud. That split can leave you guarded, lonely and unsure what you actually want.
I help you look at which beliefs about sex, men and needs are yours and which you absorbed from family, culture or religion. I will challenge you when you hide, but I will not hand you a new identity or a moral code. The aim is a life where you do not need to be 2 different men.
If you recognise yourself here, request a free call to talk it through confidentially, or book a session if you are ready to begin.
You can also send me an email
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What compulsive porn use therapy with me will help you do
Understanding the habit matters, but the work also has to change how you spend your evenings, handle stress and let people close.
Compulsive porn use therapy with me will help you understand what the habit does for you, see the patterns that keep it in place and make changes you can feel in your daily life. Insight on its own rarely changes much. You also need new ways of meeting the needs the habit has been meeting.
My foundation is psychotherapy. I have also been a student of men’s work since 2010, with Eli Buren, a dear friend and mentor, as a central influence, and it adds to and deepens that training. Robert Glover’s “No More Mr. Nice Guy” describes the man who hides his needs and flaws to be liked, avoids conflict and carries shame underneath. In my experience, a porn habit is often where those hidden needs go. David Deida’s “The Way of the Superior Man” adds the idea of a man living from his deepest purpose and being present with the people he loves. I will be active, direct and supportive. These 6 questions describe what we work towards.
How will I help you understand what the habit does for you?
I help you separate the habit from what drives it. Porn is rarely the whole story. Underneath there is usually something specific: stress you never put down, loneliness, unspoken anger, boredom, a relationship that has gone quiet, or needs you learned to keep to yourself.
I tell you what I see and which explanations keep you stuck, such as “I just have no willpower”. My article why can’t I change? looks at why willpower so often fails. When you feel ready to look at it, book a session with me.
How can you notice the evening slide before the laptop is open?
You can learn to see the chain that leads to it. There is usually a sequence: a feeling you do not want, a story like “I deserve this”, a familiar time and place, a first click. Once you can see the earlier links, there is room to choose.
In sessions, I help you slow that chain down and understand each link, including what it protects you from. Knowing the chain is not enough on its own. We agree concrete alternatives, and you practise them between sessions until they start to hold.
How can you sit with restlessness or loneliness without reaching for the screen?
Sitting with a feeling does not mean gritting your teeth until it passes. It means staying present long enough to know what the feeling is and what it needs. Restlessness may need movement. Loneliness may need a call to a friend. Anger may need to be said.
I help you notice the urge earlier and understand what your body is asking for. We find specific ways to settle that work for you. I will be clear that this needs daily practice, especially in the hours when the habit used to take over.
How can you talk to your partner honestly without drowning in shame?
Honest talk begins with knowing what is yours to own, and what you feel and need. Many men either confess in a flood of guilt or deny and minimise until they are caught. Neither helps your partner trust you again.
I help you find words that are truthful and specific, without drama or minimising. Glover’s point that hidden deals and secret lives damage trust is useful here. I will challenge your silence, and I will also challenge any wish to make your partner manage your shame. We often prepare the conversation together first.
How can you decide what you want, without guilt or fear deciding for you?
Clearer choices come when you separate guilt, fear and other people’s judgements from what you actually value. You may want to stop completely, cut down, or understand the habit first. Guilt often pushes for dramatic promises that do not last.
I help you look honestly at what each option would ask of you. I will give you my professional view and point it out when you are avoiding, but I will not decide for you or impose a moral code. The goal you set has to be one you believe in.
What does a life look like when you no longer need the secret?
Lasting change reaches beyond your screen. You may need different evening routines, more sleep, friends you actually talk to, exercise, honesty at home or a way of resting that does not leave you feeling worse.
I help you work out which changes matter and which do not. Your sexuality is not the problem. The aim is a life where your desire, your relationships and your values point in the same direction, and where nothing important has to stay hidden.
You can also send me an email
What happens when you begin compulsive porn use therapy with me
You do not need a diagnosis or a full confession to start. We start from your evenings as they are now and what you want to change.
When you begin, I listen, help you name the central difficulty and give the work a clear direction from the start. You do not need to describe anything explicit, and you do not need to have stopped first.
This is a focused form of psychotherapy, structured individual work on the habit and what drives it. If trust in your relationship has broken and your partner is willing, couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. For work that will take time, therapy discounts and bundles give you savings and a plan you can rely on.
What happens in our first session about your porn use?
I ask what made you come now, how the habit shows up in your days, what you have tried and what you want to change. I listen for what it soothes and when it grew. You do not need to tell me your whole life story or give explicit detail.
At the close of the session, I share my first reading and suggest a direction. You decide whether my approach feels useful. If you would like to talk first, request a free 30-minute discovery call.
When is individual therapy the right place for a porn habit?
Individual work is right when the habit lives mainly in you: in your stress, your loneliness, your history and the way you handle feelings. That is usually the case, even when it affects a relationship. We can explore your relationship fully without your partner attending.
Session by session, I give you direction and continuity, and I challenge you honestly. The bigger picture of my structured individual work is on Psychotherapy Copenhagen.
When is couples therapy a better choice after a discovery?
Couples therapy is the better choice when the relationship itself needs repair: when trust has broken, when every conversation turns into accusation and defence, or when you have both withdrawn. Then the work is about the cycle between you, not only your habit.
In couples work, I help you both understand that cycle, take responsibility for your own part and rebuild trust step by step. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing. Many men start alone and move into couples work later.
How often should you come?
The pace depends on how strong the pull is, how much it is costing you and how much continuity you need. Habits fill gaps, and long gaps between sessions often let the old routine return.
I recommend starting weekly. I will tell you if the sessions are too far apart, and when the work can become less frequent. Back-to-back sessions over a few days are possible if your schedule needs it, followed by regular sessions.
When does a bundle make sense for this work?
A bundle makes sense when you know the work will take several sessions and want continuity, rather than deciding each week whether to come back. With a secret habit, the weeks it gets hard are the weeks you will want to cancel.
With a bundle you get significant savings and a structured plan that holds you to the work. I will help you judge whether one fits your situation. See therapy discounts and bundles, or the cards below, for the options.
How will we know the habit has lost its hold?
The work has done its job when you feel in charge of your choices, when the secrecy is gone and when the habit no longer decides how your evenings end. Old urges may still appear on a bad day, but you know what they mean and what to do.
I review progress openly and do not encourage dependency. Sessions can become less frequent, pause or end. Returning later with something new is simply part of life.
How it works with me
- Either begin with a free 30-minute call or book your first session online. You only need to say that you want help with a porn habit.
- Sessions are 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, one to one, at my practice in central Copenhagen or by video, in English or Danish. Appointment times run between 08:00 and 21:00 Copenhagen time, any day of the week, subject to availability.
- We usually meet weekly at first, and you practise agreed changes in the evenings between sessions.
- Every few sessions, we review what has shifted and decide whether to keep the pace, involve your partner or space sessions out.
- If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start. You can see the bundles just below.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Not sure this is the right place to begin? Here is how it compares with the options men in your position most often weigh up.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Compulsive porn use therapy (this page) | You keep going back to porn when you do not want to, and the secrecy is costing you. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
| Men’s sexuality therapy | Your questions are about desire, closeness and who you are as a sexual man. | 1-hour sessions at a pace you choose |
| Performance anxiety therapy | Fear of failing with a partner is what troubles you most. | A focused course of 1-hour sessions |
| Psychotherapy for men | The habit is one thread among several in your life as a man. | 1-hour sessions at a pace you choose |
Frequently asked questions
What is compulsive porn use therapy with you?
Compulsive porn use therapy with me is individual psychotherapy for men who keep returning to porn against their own wishes. It looks at what the habit soothes, why it stays secret and what you need instead, without shame or moralising. Sessions are in English or Danish, at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or online.
It is part of my men’s sexuality therapy, focused on one pattern: the habit, the secrecy and what lies beneath them.
When should I come to you about my porn use?
Come when you feel you are not choosing it any more, when it is costing you sleep, work or closeness, or when you are hiding more than you want to. You do not need to hit rock bottom first. Your own unease is reason enough.
In 22 years of practice, I have learned to look at how long it has been going on, what it is replacing and how much secrecy surrounds it. Those 3 things tell me most about what you need.
Do I have an addiction?
I do not put that label on you, and I do not diagnose. What matters more is whether you feel in charge of your choices and whether the habit fits the life you want. If it does not, it deserves attention, whatever anyone calls it.
In my clinical experience, labels often add shame without adding understanding. I would focus with you on what the habit does for you and what would help you need it less.
Will you tell me I have to give porn up completely?
No. Your goal is yours to set. Some men choose to stop, some to cut down, and some first want to understand what is going on. I will not impose rules or a moral position.
What I will do is help you be honest about whether your goal is working, and challenge you if a plan keeps failing. If you also struggle with erections or desire with a partner, see your GP to check for physical causes as well.
Why do I feel so low afterwards, and still go back?
Because the low feeling and the habit feed each other. Stress or loneliness builds, the habit gives quick relief, the relief turns into self-criticism, and the self-criticism builds new tension that needs relief. It is a loop, not a character flaw.
I help you see each step of that loop and what it protects you from. Then we work on gentler ways to handle the tension, and on treating yourself with enough respect that you do not need to hide.
What will you ask me in the first session?
I ask how the habit shows up in your days, what it seems to give you, what it costs and what you have tried. I ask a little about your history and relationships, because habits like this rarely come from nowhere. When the hour ends, you will know how I see the pattern and what I propose.
You do not need to prepare a confession. Book your first session when you feel ready, or begin with a free discovery call.
How long does it usually take to change a porn habit?
I usually recommend a first course of sessions over a few months, starting weekly. That is often enough to understand the pattern and build new routines. If the habit is tied to older shame or a long period of loneliness, it takes longer.
Based on 22 years of practice, I prefer a clear first stretch that we review honestly over open-ended sessions without a plan.
My partner found out. Should we come together, or should I start alone?
Usually, start alone. You need a place to understand the habit and take responsibility for it before you can face your partner’s questions steadily. Your partner may also want support of their own.
When you are both ready, couples work can help you rebuild trust. If you are not sure which comes first, we can decide together on a free call. Online sessions are possible either way.
What does compulsive porn use therapy with you cost?
You book individual psychotherapy with me as 1-hour appointments, with 50 minutes of therapy each time. My prices page lists the current price. Payment is by invoice and bank transfer.
When you know several sessions are needed, a bundle saves you 10 per cent and sets a structured plan. Bundle options are on therapy discounts and bundles. A same-day payment from a Danish bank account saves another 3 per cent.
How do I book compulsive porn use therapy with you?
Book your first session online, or request a free 30-minute discovery call if you would rather talk first. You only need to say that you want help with a habit.
If no time suits you, or a discovery at home has made things urgent, contact me directly. I set aside some room for acute cases, so a time within days is usually possible. Take that one step, and we will start from where you are.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
Explore other services I offer
Individual psychotherapy
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