Generational trauma therapy Copenhagen
Help to put down what your family has carried for generations
I help you see which of your burdens began before you were born
- Last updated October 16, 2026
What I want you to know about the pain your family passed down
In this short video, I explain how pain that nobody in your family talked about can still shape your life, and how you can choose what to pass on.
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At a glance
Generational trauma therapy Copenhagen helps you understand feelings and patterns that seem older than your own life: fear, silence, grief or harshness that came down through parents and grandparents who lived through war, migration, poverty, persecution or loss. You work with me on your own, in 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, in English or Danish, at my practice in central Copenhagen or online, wherever your family story has taken you.
I help you trace what was handed down, separate it from what is truly yours and decide what you want to carry forward. This work on inheritance sits within my trauma therapy, which in turn is part of my wider psychotherapy. If the main wound lies in how you yourself were treated growing up, childhood trauma therapy may fit better.
When you want to start looking at what your family passed on, book a session or ask for a free discovery call. My client policy sets out how I work, and you can always write to me first.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
Generational trauma therapy Copenhagen is for adults who sense that they are carrying something that did not begin with them. Your grandparents may have fled a country, survived a war or lost children, and nobody ever really spoke about it. You want to understand how that history lives in you, and to stop handing it on without knowing.
- You grew up with a silence around certain years, places or people, and you learned very young not to ask.
- You feel a sadness or dread that seems far too big for anything that has actually happened in your own life.
- Your family keeps an unspoken rule, such as never relying on outsiders or always being ready to leave in a hurry.
- You notice that your mother, your grandmother and you all react to stress in almost exactly the same way.
- You feel guilty for having an easier life than your parents, and find it hard to enjoy what you have built.
- You carry two or more cultures, and each one holds a different story about what your family went through.
- You have children, or want them, and you are determined that certain things will stop with you.
- You have looked into your family history and found a gap, a secret or a name nobody was allowed to mention.
This is probably not for you if…
Inherited pain often sits alongside other difficulties, and some of those need a different focus. Where one of the situations below sounds more like yours, follow the link to the page written for it.
- The main wound is how your own parents treated you while you were growing up. → childhood trauma therapy
- Something overwhelming happened to you directly, as an adult, and it still affects you. → trauma therapy
- You are recovering from a relationship in which you were controlled or made to doubt yourself. → therapy after narcissistic abuse
- Your struggle is mostly about living between cultures and countries, more than about family history. → third culture psychotherapy
- A recent death in the family has stirred everything up, and grief is what you most need help with. → grief therapy
- You want to explore your life broadly, and family history is only one theme among several. → psychotherapy
- Inherited patterns are straining your relationship, and your partner is willing to come with you. → couples therapy
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
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Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“In the last few months alone, I have sat with people whose grandparents survived bombing, camps, famine or forced flight, and almost every one of them began by saying, ‘But it did not happen to me.’ That is exactly how inherited pain works. It arrives without a story attached, so you assume it must be your fault. Underneath, I hear a young voice asking ‘Why did nobody ever tell me what happened to us?’, and an older, more guarded one saying ‘We do not talk about that. We manage.’ I believe the most loyal thing you can do for your family is not to carry its pain in silence, but to understand it, so it stops with you.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
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You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
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A typical situation
Daniel is 39, an architect born in Copenhagen to parents who came from Bosnia in the 1990s. His childhood was safe and loving. Yet he keeps a packed bag in the hall cupboard, cannot bear his daughter being out of sight in a crowd and lies awake whenever the news shows a war. His father never talks about the years before Denmark. Daniel feels ridiculous, because nothing bad has ever happened to him, and he is starting to snap at his family.
I would start with the packed bag. In our first session, Daniel would probably notice that it feels less like his own fear and more like a promise he made to someone, without ever being asked. Naming whose fear it is gives us the first thread, and it often brings unexpected relief.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need generational trauma therapy with me
You have tried to explain your feelings through your own life, and the explanation never quite fits.
There is no single right time or right reason to begin generational trauma therapy. If you sense that you carry something that started before you, or that your family’s silence weighs on you, that is enough. You do not need proof, a family tree or a dramatic event in your own life before you come to see me. In 22 years of practice, I have learned to recognise the particular feel of inherited pain, and I know when it deserves proper attention.
In sessions, I usually begin with what you feel now and then follow it back through your parents and grandparents to where it may have started. I will help you see what was passed down, what keeps it alive and what you can set down. Each of the 6 questions below points to a way inherited pain tends to show itself in an adult life.
Do you feel weighed down by something you cannot name?
If you do, take it seriously. Inherited pain often shows up as a mood rather than a memory: a heaviness on certain dates, an alertness in crowds, a reluctance to feel too happy in case it is taken away. You may work hard, function well and still feel that you are carrying a rucksack you never packed. Rest does not lift it, because it is not about tiredness.
I would look at when the feeling is strongest, what it reminds you of and whether it echoes anything you know, or half know, about your family’s past. That helps us tell the difference between a hard period in your own life and something older that is asking to be understood. If you recognise yourself, book a session with me and we can begin.
Do you want to know your family’s story, and feel you must not ask?
Both are true at once, because each protects something different. Part of you longs to know what happened, so your own feelings finally make sense. Another part feels a deep loyalty to the silence, as if asking would hurt your parents or betray your grandparents. You may start a conversation at a family gathering and then drop it, or research online late at night and then close the laptop.
I do not ask you to choose between curiosity and loyalty. Both come from love. I help you understand what each one is protecting, so you can decide what to ask, whom to ask and when, and what you can explore without asking anyone at all. Some of this work happens in the family, and much of it happens inside you.
Do you fear losing the people you love far more than seems reasonable?
Many people with inherited trauma do. If your family once lost homes, countries or relatives suddenly, the fear of loss can sit in you like a background hum. A partner who is late, a child who does not answer the phone or a friend who goes quiet can set off a panic that feels much bigger than the moment. You may check, call again and struggle to settle until you know everyone is safe.
Your wish to keep your people close is legitimate, and I will not shame it. What I help you change is the alarm that fires as if catastrophe were always near. We look at where that alarm was first needed, often in a generation before you, and you practise recognising when it belongs to then rather than now. You also learn to ask for reassurance in a way that settles you, instead of searching for it again and again.
Do you pull your family close, then need to get away from them?
This swing is common in families shaped by hardship. Closeness was a matter of survival, so family can feel both like the only safe place and like a place where you cannot breathe. You may phone your mother every day and then feel suffocated by her worry. You may long to be part of it all at Christmas and then leave early with a headache. Afterwards you feel guilty either way.
I help you slow this cycle down so we can see what pulls you in and what pushes you out. Often it is the family’s old rules, about loyalty, duty or danger outside, meeting your own wish for a freer life. I have real compassion for both sides. I will also help you take responsibility for the moments when the swinging hurts people you love, and find steadier ways to be close without disappearing into the family.
Do you go quiet and cope alone, the way your family always did?
Many families that survived hard times learned to get on with it and never complain. You may have inherited that strength along with its cost. When feelings run high, you go practical, say it is fine or keep busy. When someone you love wants to talk about how you feel, it can seem self-indulgent or even unsafe. Distance feels like good manners, and silence feels like protection.
My clear view is that this way of coping carried your family through things most people today cannot imagine, and it deserves respect. I will not ask you to throw it away. I help you understand what the silence protects, and what it costs you now. Then you practise letting someone in a little further, and saying “I need some time on my own” rather than simply going quiet for days.
Do you know which parts of you are yours, and which belong to the family?
When a family has lived through great loss, children often take on roles without being asked: the one who makes the parents proud, the one who never causes trouble, the one who will finally be safe. Years later you may not know whether your ambition, your caution or your guilt is really yours. Some people feel they have no right to their own life until they have repaid an invisible debt.
I help you look honestly at which beliefs, fears and loyalties you inherited and which you would choose today. This often means grieving for people you never met, as well as understanding the ones you know. I will challenge you when you give yourself less than you deserve, but I will not hand you a new identity. The aim is to know who you are within your family’s story, and who you are beyond it.
If you recognise your family in these questions, request a free call to talk it through first, or book a session if you are ready to begin.
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What generational trauma therapy with me will help you do
Understanding your family’s history matters, but the work also has to change how you live, love and raise the next generation.
Generational trauma therapy with me will help you understand what was passed down to you, see the patterns that keep it alive in your daily life and change what you no longer want to carry. Many people have read about inherited trauma and recognise their family in it. That recognition matters. On its own, though, it rarely changes how your body reacts or what you hand on to your own children.
After more than 22 years of practice, I know that inherited pain shifts most when I take an active part rather than simply listening. I draw on family systems thinking and on psychosynthesis, which looks at the different inner voices we carry, including those we took on from others. In practice I will help you hear whose voice is speaking, guide you towards what was never felt in your family and challenge the old rules when they no longer serve you. These 6 questions describe what we work towards.
For men: father wound therapy.
How will I help you see what your family passed down to you?
I help you separate what is genuinely yours from what you absorbed. The anxiety before travel, the hoarding of food, the fear of standing out or the inability to rest are real, but they may be echoes of survival strategies that made sense two or three generations ago. Underneath, you will often find grief that was never mourned, fear that was never spoken and rules that were never questioned.
I bring structure to this. Together we map what you know of your family’s history, what you sense but cannot prove, and where your own reactions seem to come from. I tell you what I see and challenge explanations that keep you stuck, such as “that is just how we are”. If you notice the same pattern repeating in each generation, my article on repetition compulsion explains why. If you want to begin sorting your own feelings from your family’s, book a session with me.
How can you notice the inherited reaction before it takes over?
You can learn to notice the moment an old family reaction starts in you. It often has a recognisable shape: a sudden urge to stockpile, check the exits or keep everyone home, a rush of guilt when you enjoy yourself, or a cold shutdown when someone mentions certain subjects. Once you can see it coming, you gain a small but real moment of choice.
In sessions, I help you slow those moments down and ask whose reaction it is, what it was originally for and whether it is needed now. Seeing it is only the start. We practise a different response together, in the room and between sessions, until you can use it at a family dinner, in an argument with your partner or when your child does something that frightens you.
How can you settle the fear that never seems to be yours?
Settling does not mean dismissing what your family lived through or pretending it does not matter. It means staying present enough to know that you are here, now, in a safer time and place, while still honouring what came before. Feeling an old fear is not the same as being in old danger. Regulation lets you hold both truths at once.
I help you notice activation earlier and understand what your body is preparing for. Often it is bracing for a threat that belonged to your grandparents’ world. We find ways of settling that fit you, such as grounding in the room, speaking to the part of you that carries the fear, or small rituals that honour the past without living in it. I will also tell you plainly that the old alarm only quietens if you practise settling it at home, between our sessions.
How can you talk to your family about the past without causing a rift?
Clear communication begins with knowing what you feel, what you want to know and what is yours to ask. In families with a painful history, that can be difficult. You may say nothing to protect your parents, or burst out with questions at the wrong moment and regret it. Older relatives may change the subject, become angry or say it is better forgotten.
I help you find language that is honest, gentle and proportionate, such as “I would like to understand more about where we come from, whenever you feel ready” or “I am not blaming anyone. I just want to know.” I will challenge you when you silence yourself for the family’s sake, and I will also challenge you when you expect relatives to give you answers they may not have or cannot bear to give.
How can you make choices free of your family’s old fears?
Clearer decisions become possible when you separate inherited fear, family duty and old expectations from what you actually want. Many people with a family history of loss either play it extremely safe or feel driven to achieve on behalf of everyone who could not. Both can make choices for you without you noticing.
I help you look at your options and what each one would ask of you, including what it might mean in your family’s story. I will give you my professional view, and I will point it out when inherited fear or guilt seems to be choosing. The decision stays with you. Often the most freeing step is simply to realise that you are allowed to want something your family never had.
What does it mean to be the generation where it stops?
Lasting change has to reach beyond the therapy room. Understanding your family in sessions is valuable, but the real test is how you parent, how you rest, how you celebrate and what you say when your child asks about the family. You may need new ways of talking about the past, new traditions, different limits with relatives, or permission to enjoy a life that is easier than theirs.
I help you decide what to keep and what to let go. Your family’s resilience, warmth, humour and loyalty are part of your inheritance too, and they do not need to go. The goal is not to cut yourself off from where you come from. It is to carry your history consciously, so what you pass on to the next generation is chosen rather than simply repeated.
You can also send me an email
What happens when you begin generational trauma therapy with me
You do not need to know your family’s whole story, or any of it. I begin with what you feel now and follow it from there.
When you begin, I listen carefully, help you name what feels heaviest and give the work a clear direction. I do not expect you to arrive with documents, a family tree or the full facts. Many people know very little, and the gaps themselves often tell us a great deal.
Generational trauma therapy is a focused form of psychotherapy, structured individual work in which we look at your inner life, your family history and your relationships together. If inherited patterns are clashing in your relationship and your partner is willing, couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing, often with two family histories in the room. If you can tell that several generations of history will need more than a few sessions, my therapy discounts and bundles reduce the cost and set out a plan from the start.
What happens in our first generational trauma session?
In our first session, I ask what brought you to therapy now, what you feel and notice, what you know of your family’s history and what you hope will change. I may ask where your parents and grandparents came from and what they lived through, but only as far as you know and want to say. You do not need to have researched anything.
By the end, I give you my first understanding of what may have been passed down and propose a direction for the work. It is then your choice whether this way of looking at your family feels right to you. If you want to speak to me before you commit, ask for a free 30-minute discovery call.
When should you choose individual therapy for generational trauma?
Individual therapy is the right choice when the work is about what you carry inside: your feelings, your inherited fears and loyalties, your sense of who you are and the way you relate to others. That is true for most generational trauma, even though it involves a whole family. We can explore your family in depth without anyone else needing to attend, and that freedom often matters.
On your own with me, you have someone who holds the whole family picture from week to week, keeps you moving and questions the family rules when they get in your way. You can say things about your family that you could never say in front of them, and that is often where the work begins. If you are not sure your family history is really the centre of it, my page on psychotherapy in Copenhagen shows the broader individual work I offer.
When is couples therapy a better choice than generational trauma work?
Couples therapy fits better when it is the space between you and your partner, rather than your own inheritance, that most needs the work. Two people bring two family histories into one home. If your inherited ways of handling fear, money, closeness or conflict keep colliding with your partner’s, so that the same arguments return or trust wears thin, working on it together often helps more than working alone.
In couples work, I help you both see the cycle between you, understand which part of it comes from each family and build more secure ways of being together. That is more than settling one disagreement. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing, and some people do their own generational work first and turn to couples work afterwards.
How often should you come for generational trauma therapy?
The right pace depends on how strongly the inherited material affects you now, how much room you have and how much continuity the work needs. This work often moves in waves. A conversation with a relative, an anniversary or a news event can open something up, and then there are quieter periods of digesting.
I suggest we start with a session each week, or every other week, while the first family material is opening up. I will tell you honestly if sessions are too far apart to hold what comes up, if closer support would help around a family visit or a trip to an old homeland, and when the work is ready to become less frequent. Some people also find a short block of back-to-back sessions useful when preparing for such a trip.
When does a bundle make sense for generational trauma work?
A bundle makes sense when you already know the work will take a number of sessions and you want continuity rather than deciding after every appointment. Families that survived hardship often pass on a habit of making do and not spending on yourself. A planned course is a small, practical way of deciding that this matters.
Buying a bundle brings the price of each session down and commits you to a steady run of work on what you carry. Ask me, and I will tell you honestly whether your family material looks like a few sessions or a longer stretch. The bundle cards lower down list each option, and therapy discounts and bundles explains the details.
How will we know when generational trauma therapy has done its job?
Therapy has done its job when you have more ownership, clarity and choice, and when the inherited weight has changed enough that you can carry on without the same support. Your family history will not disappear. But you will know which feelings are yours, which belong to the past, and what you want to pass on.
We talk openly about how far you have come, and I will not keep you in therapy once the family weight has eased enough. At that point we can meet less often, take a pause or end the work. If you come back later, perhaps when a grandparent dies or your own child reaches an age that stirs something, that does not mean the earlier work failed. It means a new layer is ready.
How it works with me
- Choose a free 30-minute call if you want to talk first, or book your first session straight away. Tell me briefly what you sense you may be carrying and, if you know, where your family comes from.
- We meet for a 1-hour appointment, of which 50 minutes is therapy, at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or on video, in English or Danish, or a mix of both if that is how your family spoke. You can book any day of the week between 08:00 and 21:00 Copenhagen time, when a slot is free.
- At first we usually meet weekly or every second week. Between sessions, some people choose to talk with relatives, look at old photographs or write down what they know, but none of this is required.
- Every few sessions, we look honestly at what has shifted in your feelings, your relationships and how you see your family. Then we agree whether to carry on as we are, go further into the family story, meet less often or stop.
- If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start. You can see the bundles just below.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Not sure generational trauma therapy is the right starting point? Here is how it compares with the options people exploring their family history most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Generational trauma therapy (this page) | You carry fear, grief or silence that seems to come from earlier generations. | Weekly or fortnightly 1-hour sessions |
| Trauma therapy | Something overwhelming happened to you directly and still affects you. | Weekly 1-hour sessions, paced carefully |
| Childhood trauma therapy | The main wound is how you were treated in the home you grew up in. | Weekly 1-hour sessions over months |
| Therapy after narcissistic abuse | A relationship left you controlled, confused and doubting yourself. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
Frequently asked questions
What is generational trauma therapy with you?
Generational trauma therapy with me is individual psychotherapy for adults who carry fear, grief, silence or patterns that began in earlier generations, often after war, migration, persecution, poverty or sudden loss. It helps you understand what was passed down, separate it from what is yours and choose what to carry forward. You can do this work in English or Danish, in my room in central Copenhagen or online from another country.
I work in depth, drawing on family systems thinking, psychosynthesis and attention to the body, where inherited fear often lives. I do not offer EMDR or any named trauma protocol. Generational trauma therapy is a branch of my trauma therapy.
When should I come to you about my family’s history?
Come when your feelings or reactions seem bigger or older than your own life can explain, when your family’s silence weighs on you, or when you want to stop a pattern before it reaches your children. You do not need to know exactly what happened. Your sense that something was passed down is reason enough.
In 22 years of practice, I have learned to listen for the signs: anniversaries that hurt for no clear reason, fears that match a grandparent’s history, a family rule nobody can explain. When these are shaping your choices or your relationships, they deserve proper attention rather than more guessing.
Can therapy help with something that happened to my grandparents, not me?
Yes, often it can. Children absorb far more than they are told. A parent’s fear, grief or watchfulness shapes a child’s nervous system and beliefs long before any story is shared. That is why inherited pain can feel so personal. I cannot change what happened, and I do not offer quick fixes, but I can help you understand how it lives in you and loosen its hold.
In my clinical experience, people are often surprised by how much lighter they feel simply from naming what belongs to whom. I would focus with you on what your family had to survive, what they could not feel at the time, and what you can now feel, grieve or let go of on their behalf, and on your own.
What if my family refuses to talk about the past?
That is very common, and the work can go ahead without them. You do not need your family’s permission or cooperation to understand what you carry. Much of what was passed down lives in you, and we can work with it directly.
My position is that silence is itself part of the story. Often relatives cannot speak because the pain is still too great, not because they do not care. I help you respect their limits while still taking your own experience seriously. Sometimes, after this work, people find new and gentler ways to open conversations. Sometimes they find peace without the full facts.
Why do I hold on tight to my family, then push them away?
Both are understandable in a family shaped by loss. Holding on tight makes sense when people you love were once taken suddenly. Pulling away makes sense when that closeness comes with worry, duty and old fear. Many people move between the two, sometimes within the same phone call. It is not a flaw in your character.
I help you recognise which way you tend to move, what sets off each shift and what it costs you and your family. Then we work on steadier options: staying close without being swallowed by the family’s fear, and taking space without guilt or a dramatic break.
What will we actually do in the first generational trauma session?
We start with what you feel and notice now. I ask how it shows up in your days, your body and your relationships, and what you know, or suspect, about your family’s past. We might sketch your family across three generations together, simply to see where the weight seems to sit. Before we finish, I share how I see what has been handed down to you and where I would suggest we begin.
You do not need to prepare or bring any research. Gaps and uncertainty are part of the picture, and we can work with them. If you want to begin, book a first session, or try a free discovery call to ask me anything about this work.
How many sessions of generational trauma therapy will I need?
My recommendation is to plan for a course of sessions over several months, weekly or every second week. Patterns that took generations to form do not need generations to change, but they do need steady attention. Some people find a few sessions enough to understand what they carry. Others want to go further.
Based on 22 years of practice, I would rather we agree on a clear first period and review it honestly than drift without direction. At each review we look at what has eased, and you and I agree whether to keep going, explore further back, come less often or end.
Should I come in person or have generational trauma therapy online?
Come in person if you can, as the steadiness of a regular room helps when heavy family material comes up. Online sessions also work well, especially if you live outside Copenhagen or travel back and forth to another country where your family lives, and they last just as long.
Both formats are part of my psychotherapy practice, in English or Danish, and I am used to working with people whose family histories span several languages and cultures. If you cannot decide between the two, we can talk it over on a free call.
What does generational trauma therapy with you cost?
Generational trauma work is individual psychotherapy, booked as 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy. The current price is kept up to date on my prices page. Payment is by invoice and bank transfer.
If you expect a course of sessions, a bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you the safety of a structured plan. The size of each bundle, and how the saving works, is set out on therapy discounts and bundles. Pay by transfer from a Danish bank account on the day, and another 3 per cent comes off.
How do I begin generational trauma therapy with you?
You can book your first session straight away, or ask for a free 30-minute discovery call if you would like to hear how I work with family history first. You only need to say briefly what you sense you may be carrying.
If you cannot find a time that suits you, or a family event has suddenly stirred everything up, contact me directly. I keep some times open for urgent situations, so I can usually offer you a session within days. Book the session, and we will start with what you carry today.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
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