Grief therapy Copenhagen
A steady place to grieve, at your own pace
I stay with you in the loss, without rushing you to move on
- Last updated October 17, 2026
What I want you to know about grieving
In this short video, I explain why grief is not a problem to be solved, and what it means to have someone walk beside you while you carry it.
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At a glance
Grief therapy Copenhagen helps you carry the loss of someone who mattered to you, in a room where you do not have to be fine. You come to me on your own, for 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, in English or Danish, at my quiet practice in central Copenhagen or online if leaving home feels too much right now.
I do not treat grief as an illness or try to shorten it. I help you make room for what you feel, find words for the relationship you have lost and slowly work out how to live alongside the absence. This page is the grief branch of my psychotherapy. If you are losing someone who is still alive, anticipatory grief therapy is the closer fit, and if your grief has stayed frozen or raw for a long time, complicated grief therapy goes deeper into that.
When you feel ready to talk about your loss, book a session or ask for a free discovery call. My client policy explains the practical side, and you are welcome to write to me first.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
Grief therapy Copenhagen is for adults who have lost someone close and are finding the grief heavier, lonelier or stranger than they expected. The person may be a parent, a partner, a sibling, a child or a friend, and the death may be recent or some months ago. You want a calm place to grieve properly, with someone who will not hurry you.
- You went back to work after the funeral, and now you sit at your desk reading the same email 4 times without taking it in.
- You reach for your phone to tell them something small and funny, and remember again, halfway through the gesture, that they are gone.
- Friends were kind for the first few weeks, but they have stopped asking, and you do not know how to bring it up.
- You feel guilty for the moments when you laugh or forget, as if forgetting even briefly were a betrayal of them.
- Your family grieves in a different way from you, and the silences or arguments between you add a second loss to the first.
- You are tired in a way sleep does not touch, and ordinary things like shopping or cooking take far more effort than before.
- You live in Denmark while your family is in another country, and you flew home for the funeral and then flew back alone.
- You keep wondering whether what you feel is normal, and you want somewhere to say the things you cannot say at home.
This is probably not for you if…
Grief touches many parts of life, and some situations call for a more specific kind of help. If your loss looks more like one of the situations below, the linked page is written for it.
- The person you are losing is still alive, through illness, dementia or a long decline. → anticipatory grief therapy
- Years have passed, yet the grief feels as raw as the first week, or you cannot feel it at all. → complicated grief therapy
- The death was sudden or violent, and images of it keep forcing their way into your mind. → trauma therapy
- You feel flat and hopeless across your whole life, and the low mood began before this loss. → depression therapy
- The loss is the end of a marriage or relationship rather than a death. → divorce therapy
- You need help this week because you cannot function at all since the death. → acute psychotherapy
- Grief is one of several things weighing on you, and you want to look at your life more broadly. → psychotherapy
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
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Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“Of all the people I see, the ones who come for grief are often the ones who apologise most for taking up my time. They tell me it has been months now and they should be over it. I disagree, firmly. Grief is not a sign that something has gone wrong in you. It is love with nowhere to go. Underneath it I often hear ‘Will I be left on my own with this?’ and, right beside it, ‘I need to get through this by myself, please do not fuss.’ Sometimes it is one breath: ‘Sit with me, but do not ask me how I am.’ My work is not to move you on. It is to keep you company while the loss finds its place.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
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If you want me to call you ASAP, or if you want to book me, use the buttons below.
You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
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A typical situation
Lukas is 41, grew up in Hamburg and has worked as an engineer in Copenhagen for 9 years. His father died in March after a short illness. Lukas flew home, helped his mother with the funeral and was back at work within 2 weeks. Now it is autumn. His colleagues no longer mention it, his mother rings every evening in tears, and he finds himself sitting in the car outside the supermarket, unable to go in. He tells himself he is coping, because he still gets everything done.
I would start with his father, not with the coping: who he was, what Lukas misses and what was left unsaid. In our first session, Lukas would probably notice how little room he has given his own grief while holding his mother’s from 300 kilometres away. That gives us a place to begin.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need grief therapy with me
You have tried to keep going and be strong for everyone else, and the loss is still sitting on your chest.
There is no single right time or right reason to begin grief therapy. You do not need to wait until a year has passed, and you do not need to be falling apart. If you feel that the loss is more than you can carry alone, that life has become hard to manage, or that the people around you cannot meet you in it, that is reason enough. You do not need a diagnosis, the right words or a crisis before you come to see me. In 22 years of practice, I have sat with many people in the months after a death, and I recognise when grief needs a dedicated place rather than more endurance.
In sessions, I usually begin by helping you tell me about the person you have lost and the relationship you had, because grief is always about someone in particular. I will help you see what is making it heavier than it needs to be, and what support you are missing. The 6 questions below describe what grief often looks like when it needs more than time alone.
Is the loss draining the energy you need for ordinary life?
If it is, take that seriously. Grief is physical as well as emotional. You may wake at 4 in the morning and lie there, eat without noticing or forget to eat at all, and feel your body move as if through water. Simple tasks such as paying a bill, answering a message or sorting their belongings can sit untouched for weeks. You may still function at work and then collapse the moment you close your front door.
I would look at how your days actually go, what has stopped and what you are pushing through on willpower alone. Tiredness in grief is normal, but exhaustion that keeps deepening after months tells me you are carrying it without enough support. If this is how your grief feels, book a session with me and we will make room for it.
Do you want to hold on to them and let go at the same time?
Both wishes can live in you at once, and each one protects something real. One part of you wants to keep everything as it was: their coat on the hook, their number in your phone, the voicemail you play at night. Another part longs for the pain to ease and for life to feel like yours again. You may swing between them, clearing a drawer one day and putting everything back the next, and then wonder what is wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with you. I do not see the part that holds on as stuck, or the part that wants relief as disloyal. In psychosynthesis we listen to each inner voice as part of the whole person. I help you hear what each one is guarding, often love on one side and survival on the other, so that you can make your own choices about rituals, belongings and memories. The aim is not to let go of them. It is to find a way of keeping them that also lets you live.
Are you afraid that everyone else will move on and leave you behind?
Many grieving people are. As the weeks pass, the cards stop, the messages thin out and other people’s lives return to normal. You may start watching who still mentions your loss and who does not, feel hurt when a friend talks about holidays, or check your phone hoping someone will remember the date. Every silence can feel like proof that you are alone with it, and you may find it hard to settle until someone shows you they still care.
Your need to have your loss acknowledged is entirely legitimate, and I will not shame it. What I help you with is the alarm that says nobody cares, so that it does not decide how you read every silence. We look at who can actually give you what you need, and you practise asking for it plainly. If you are grieving far from home, my article on grieving from abroad describes why this fear can be especially sharp in another country.
Do you long for comfort and then push people away when it comes?
Yes, this happens often in grief, and it can confuse you as much as it confuses those who love you. You may ask your partner to hold you and then feel smothered the moment they do. You accept an invitation and cancel at the last minute. You want to talk about the person who died and then snap at anyone who mentions them. Closeness feels necessary and unbearable in the same hour, and afterwards you feel guilty as well as sad.
I help you slow this down so we can find the moment when the wish for comfort turns into a wish to escape. Often something specific triggers it: being pitied, being asked to explain, or feeling you must manage someone else’s sadness too. I have real compassion for these reactions. I will also ask you to notice when they hurt the people trying to help, and help you find ways to ask for closeness and for space that others can understand.
Do you go quiet and keep busy so you do not have to feel it?
Many people do, and it often works for a while. When other people’s sympathy or questions become too much, you change the subject, talk about the practical arrangements or say you are fine. You may throw yourself into work, the estate or looking after everyone else. Being factual gives you a sense of control in a situation where you had none. The cost is that the grief waits, and it often returns at strange moments, in a supermarket queue or during a film.
My view is that keeping busy is not a failure. It is often how you got through the first weeks, and I respect it. I help you understand what the distance protects you from, so you can let the feeling in a little at a time without being swept away. You learn to say “I cannot talk about it today” rather than simply disappearing. Some space is healthy. Shutting grief out entirely usually is not.
Do you no longer know who you are without them?
When someone central to your life dies, part of your identity can go with them. You may have been a daughter caring for her mother, a partner planning a future together, or the younger brother who always rang his sister first. Without that role, you may feel unsure of yourself, ashamed of how lost you are, or strangely disconnected from the person you were before. That does not mean you are broken. It means the loss reached into the core of your life.
I help you look at what has actually changed in who you are, and what remains yours. Sometimes this means looking at your family’s way of dealing with death, what you inherited from earlier generations and what your culture taught you about mourning. I will offer direction and challenge you gently when you shrink, but I will not tell you who to become. The aim is to find out, over time, what matters to you now and how you want to live with this loss.
If you recognise yourself here, request a free call to talk it through gently, or book a session if you already know you want to begin.
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What grief therapy with me will help you do
Understanding grief helps, but you also need the work to change how you get through your days, your nights and your relationships.
Grief therapy with me will help you understand what is happening in you after the loss, see what is making it harder to bear and make changes that you can feel in daily life. Many people arrive having read about the stages of grief and wondering why theirs do not follow the order. Knowing about grief is useful, but it does not by itself make the evenings easier.
In my 22 years of experience, grief work moves when I take an active part. I will not just listen and nod. I will guide you, tell you what I notice and question the rules you may be living by, such as “I should be over this by now”. These 6 questions describe what we work towards.
How will I help you understand what your grief is made of?
I help you separate the loss itself from everything that has gathered around it. Your sadness is real and right. But often other things make it heavier: anger at the hospital, guilt about the last conversation, worry about money, an old family conflict that the death has stirred up, or the loneliness of grieving in a second language. Each of these needs its own attention.
I bring structure to this. I tell you what I think is happening, which threads deserve attention first and which beliefs are making it harder, such as “I should have done more”. I work with feelings, memories, the body and dreams, because grief often speaks in all of them. When you are ready, book a session with me and we will start where it hurts most.
How can you notice a wave of grief before it knocks you over?
You can learn to recognise what comes just before a wave, and that changes how it lands. Grief waves often follow a path: a song in a shop, a smell, the date on a calendar, a tightness in your throat, a sudden urge to leave the room. When you know your own early signs, you gain a moment in which to decide what you need, whether that is to sit down, step outside or let the tears come.
In sessions, I help you look at these moments slowly: what set it off, what memory it carried and what you did next. Recognising the pattern is only the start. Together we find small, practical responses that you can actually use, at work, on the train or at a family dinner, so that a wave no longer feels like an ambush.
How can you stay steady when the grief overwhelms you?
Steadiness in grief does not mean holding back tears or appearing composed. It means staying present enough to feel what you feel without being completely swept away. Some days the grief deserves your full attention. Other days you need to get through a meeting. Being able to move between the two is what regulation means here.
I help you notice when your body is overwhelmed, often before your mind does, and find specific ways to come back to the ground. This might be how you breathe, how you rest, or simply deciding when in the day you will let yourself grieve. I will be honest that grief also needs some care from you between our sessions. A few minutes each day with what we agree on helps more than waiting for the next appointment.
How can you tell people what you need while you are grieving?
It starts with knowing what you need, and grief makes that hard. You may not know whether you want company or quiet, whether you want people to mention the person who died or avoid the subject. Perhaps you stay silent so as not to burden anyone, then resent that nobody asks. Or you expect others to guess, and feel hurt when they get it wrong.
I help you find words that are honest, simple and specific, such as “please say his name” or “I need a quiet weekend, but text me on Sunday”. I will challenge you when you silence yourself, and also when you hand others the impossible task of making the grief go away. We sometimes rehearse a real conversation with a partner, a manager or a family member, so you can have it without dreading it.
How can you make decisions after a death without rushing or freezing?
Decisions become clearer when you separate grief, guilt, family pressure and practical urgency from what you actually want. After a death there is often a lot to decide: the home, the belongings, the ashes, whether to move closer to family, whether to keep a job that no longer feels meaningful. Some people decide everything too fast to escape the pain. Others cannot decide anything at all.
I help you see which decisions truly need making now and which can wait until you are steadier. I will give you my view and point it out when fear or guilt is doing the choosing. I will not make the decision for you. For many people, simply knowing that most things can wait a few months brings relief.
What does it mean to build a life that holds the loss?
Lasting change in grief does not mean forgetting or feeling fine. It means the loss becomes part of your life rather than the whole of it. You may need new routines, different expectations of yourself, new ways of marking anniversaries, or relationships in which you can speak openly about the person who died. Some people find that their values shift, and they want to live differently.
Together we work out which parts of your life need to change after this loss and which you can leave exactly as they are. Your love for the person who died is not something to remove or fix. The goal is to help you carry it with more clarity and less struggle, so that your choices follow what matters to you rather than avoidance or guilt. My article on grief and loss looks at this more broadly.
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What happens when you begin grief therapy with me
You do not need to explain your grief or tell it in order. I begin with what is hardest for you now.
When you begin, I listen carefully, help you name what feels heaviest and give our work a gentle but clear direction. I do not expect you to arrive with a diagnosis, a tidy story or a sense of where you are in your grief. We start where you are, and we go at a pace you can bear.
Grief therapy is a focused form of my psychotherapy, structured individual work centred on your loss and what it has stirred in you. If the death has also put your relationship under strain and your partner is willing, couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing for the two of you. When you know you want time for this, my therapy discounts and bundles give you real savings and the safety of a plan we agree on together.
What happens in our first grief therapy session?
In our first session, I ask who you have lost, how they died, what has been hardest since and what kind of support you have around you. I listen for the relationship as well as the loss, because what you are mourning is a particular person and a particular bond. You do not need to tell me everything at once.
By the end of the session, I give you my first understanding of what you are carrying and propose a direction for the work. It is then up to you whether sitting with your grief in my room feels right. If you would rather hear my voice before you book, ask for a free 30-minute discovery call.
When should you choose individual therapy for your grief?
Individual therapy is the right choice when the grief lives mainly in you: in your feelings, memories, body, sense of who you are and the way you are getting through each day. Even when the loss affects your whole family, you often need a place of your own where you do not have to protect anyone. We can explore your relationships fully without anyone else having to attend.
In individual work, I offer continuity, direction and honest challenge from one session to the next. If you are unsure whether to focus on your grief or on your life more broadly, Psychotherapy Copenhagen describes my structured individual work as a whole.
When is couples therapy a better choice than grief therapy?
Couples therapy is the better route when the loss has started to come between you and your partner, and the two of you need help together. A death can pull partners apart, especially when you grieve in different ways or at different speeds, or when you have lost a child or a pregnancy together. If one of you wants to talk while the other goes quiet, or blame and distance have crept in, working together often helps more than working alone.
In couples work, I help you both see the pattern between you, take responsibility for your own part and find more secure ways of being together through the loss. That is more than settling one argument. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing, and some people begin with grief therapy on their own and turn to couples work later.
How often should you come for grief therapy?
The right pace depends on how recent the loss is, how much else you are carrying and how much continuity you need. In the first months after a death, many people find a session every week or every second week gives them a dependable place to put the grief down. Later, sessions often become less frequent.
My recommendation is to begin every week or every second week, and to keep the sessions steady through hard dates such as birthdays, anniversaries and the first holidays without them. I will tell you if sessions are too far apart to hold you, if you need more support for a while, or if the work can safely become less frequent. Back-to-back sessions over a few days are possible if you live abroad or are visiting Copenhagen.
When does a bundle make sense for grief therapy?
A bundle makes sense when you know you want support through a stretch of time, perhaps the first year, and do not want to decide after each session whether to come back. In grief, that question can be one more decision too many. A planned course protects time in your calendar and lets you simply arrive.
A bundle lowers the cost of each session and keeps a steady place for your grief in the weeks ahead. I will help you judge whether a bundle fits what you need. The bundle cards below this section show each option, and therapy discounts and bundles explains how they work.
How will we know when grief therapy has done its job?
Grief therapy has done its job when you can carry the loss without the same level of support, when you have more choice about how you live with it, and when the person you lost has found a place in your life that feels bearable. You will still miss them. Grief does not end like an illness. But it no longer takes over every day.
We talk openly about how your grief is changing, and I will not keep you coming once you can carry it without me. Then we can meet less often, take a break or close the work. If an anniversary or another loss brings you back later, that does not mean the earlier work failed. Grief often returns in new forms, and you are welcome to return too.
How it works with me
- Have a free 30-minute call if you want to talk first, or book your first session straight away. Tell me briefly who you have lost and when, so I can check that grief therapy is the right starting point.
- We meet for a 1-hour appointment, 50 minutes of it therapy, in my calm room at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or on video, in English or Danish. Times are offered every day from 08:00 to 21:00 Copenhagen time, when free, so you can come early or late if the days are hard.
- At first we usually meet every week or every second week, so there is a reliable place for the grief. We plan ahead for difficult dates, such as the anniversary of the death.
- Every few sessions, we look together at how you are carrying the loss and what has changed. We decide whether to keep the pace, space sessions out, focus on something specific or finish.
- If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start. You can see the bundles just below.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Not sure grief therapy is the right starting point? Here is how it compares with the options grieving people most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Grief therapy (this page) | You have lost someone close, and the grief feels heavy, lonely or confusing. | Weekly or every second week at first |
| Anticipatory grief therapy | Someone you love is still alive, but you are already losing them. | 1-hour sessions that fit around caring |
| Complicated grief therapy | Your grief has stayed raw, frozen or stuck for a long time. | A steady course of 1-hour sessions |
| Psychotherapy | You want to explore your life broadly, with the loss as one theme among others. | 1-hour sessions at a pace you choose |
Frequently asked questions
What is grief therapy with you?
Grief therapy with me is individual psychotherapy for adults who are mourning someone close. It gives you a steady, private place to feel the loss, understand what it has stirred in you and find a way to live alongside it. It is not about getting over the person or following stages. You can grieve with me in English or Danish, in person in central Copenhagen or online, whichever feels more bearable.
I work integratively and in depth, with your feelings, your memories, your body and your family history. Grief therapy is a main branch of my psychotherapy, and the place to begin when a death is the main reason you are seeking help.
When should I come to you about my grief?
Come when you feel you are carrying the loss alone, when daily life has become hard to manage, or when you notice you are avoiding the grief altogether. You do not need to wait a set number of months. Your own sense that you need support is reason enough.
In 22 years of practice, I have learned to look at how you are sleeping, eating and working, who you can talk to and whether the grief is moving or stuck in one place. If you are many months on and it feels just as sharp, or you have felt nothing at all, that is worth attending to. If you are grieving far from your family and your own culture, it can help to come sooner rather than later.
Can therapy help when nothing will bring them back?
Yes, though not by taking the grief away. Nothing will bring the person back, and I will never pretend otherwise. What therapy can change is how alone you are with it, how much guilt and fear sit on top of the sadness, and how you find a way to live while carrying the loss. I cannot promise how it will feel or when.
In my clinical experience, people often discover that what hurts most is not only the death but what was never said, or the way the death happened, or the life they had planned with that person. I would focus with you on those threads, one at a time, so the grief can move rather than stay knotted.
Is it strange to still feel this bad after so many months?
No. Many people grieve hard for a year or longer, and the second year can be harder than the first, once the shock has worn off and other people have moved on. There is no deadline you have missed.
I do not measure whether your grief is the right size. I look at what it is doing to your life and what you need. If your grief has stopped moving altogether, if you cannot accept the death or are consumed by it years later, I may suggest we look at it through complicated grief therapy. Either way, after the first session you will know what I see and what I recommend.
Why do I want people near me one moment and away the next?
Because grief pulls in two directions. Part of you longs to be held and reminded that you are not alone. Another part needs quiet, so you can feel the loss without managing anyone else’s reaction. Some people mostly reach out, some mostly withdraw, and many do both in the same day. None of this is a flaw. It is how you are protecting yourself while you carry something very heavy.
I help you recognise which way you tend to move, what each move is trying to achieve and what it costs you and those close to you. Then we work on clearer ways to ask for company, to take time alone without disappearing and to comfort yourself when nobody is there.
Do I have to talk about how they died in the first session?
Only if you want to. I begin by asking about the person and what life has been like since, and you choose how much to say about the death itself. Some people need to tell the whole story straight away. Others need several sessions before they can. By the end of the first session, you will have my first understanding and a proposed direction.
You do not need to prepare, bring photographs or find the right words. You can cry, sit quietly or talk about something else entirely. Whenever you feel able, book a first session, or start with a free discovery call if that feels gentler.
How many sessions of grief therapy will I need?
My recommendation is to plan for a course of sessions over several months, usually weekly or every second week, rather than one or two conversations. That gives you a reliable place through the hardest stretch, including the first anniversaries. A death that was sudden, a relationship that was difficult or several losses close together usually need longer.
Based on 22 years of practice, I would rather we agree on a clear first stretch and review it honestly than leave it open. At each review we notice how your grief has shifted, and you and I agree whether to carry on, come less often or finish.
Can I have grief therapy online if my family is abroad?
Yes. Online sessions work well, and they last just as long. They are especially useful if you need to travel home often, are caring for a surviving parent in another country or are spending a period away from Copenhagen. If you can come in person, many people find the quiet of my practice a help in itself.
In the room or on a screen, it is the same psychotherapy, and you can choose English or Danish. If being far from home is a large part of your grief, expat psychotherapy also looks at the wider experience of living abroad. We can decide together on a free call which format suits you.
What does grief therapy with you cost?
Grief therapy with me is individual psychotherapy, booked as 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy. My prices page shows what a session costs today. Payment is by invoice and bank transfer.
If you think you will want support through the coming months, a bundle saves you 10 per cent and means the sessions are already in place. Each bundle is described on therapy discounts and bundles. A transfer from a Danish bank account on the same day saves you a further 3 per cent, one less thing to think about in a heavy time.
How do I begin grief therapy with you?
You can book your first session online whenever you are ready, or ask for a free 30-minute discovery call if a short conversation first would help. You only need to tell me briefly who you have lost.
If you cannot find a time that suits you, or you are struggling to get through the days, contact me directly. After a sudden death I can usually find you a time within days, because I keep some space free for exactly this. Book the session, and we will begin gently, from where you are.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
Explore other services I offer
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