Depression in men Copenhagen
Help when you feel flat, irritable or dead inside and cannot say why
I help you find what has gone quiet in you and bring it back to life
- Last updated October 17, 2026
What I want you to know about depression in men
In this short video, I explain why depression in men often looks like anger, work or a drink too many, and what helps a man find his way back.
You can also send me an email
At a glance
Depression in men Copenhagen helps men whose low mood shows up less as sadness and more as irritability, numbness, overwork, drinking or a sense that nothing matters. You come on your own, for 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy each, in English or Danish, at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or by video.
I help you see what the heaviness is made of, what you stopped feeling to keep going and how to come back to your life. It forms a main branch of my psychotherapy for men. If work has worn you down to nothing, burnout in men goes into that. My general page on depression therapy is for anyone who feels low, while this one is about the ways depression hides in men and what helps them.
You can start with a free discovery call or book a session straight away. My client policy sets out the practical terms, and you are welcome to send me a question.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
Depression in men Copenhagen is for men who have lost their spark and do not quite recognise themselves any more. You may not feel sad so much as flat, short-tempered or tired of everything. You want to understand what is happening and to get your life back.
- You snap at your partner or kids over small things and afterwards feel ashamed, but cannot stop it happening again.
- You work later and later, partly because the office is easier to be in than your own head at home.
- You have started having a few more drinks most evenings, not to party, just to take the edge off the day.
- You feel very little about things that used to matter, your team winning, a holiday, even genuinely good news.
- You drive faster, train harder or take risks you once would have thought stupid, just to feel something.
- You sleep badly, wake at 4 and lie there with a heavy, restless feeling you cannot put a name to.
- People ask if you are okay and you say you are fine, because you honestly do not know how else to put it.
- You wonder whether this is simply what adult life feels like for a man, and you hope very much that it is not.
This is probably not for you if…
Depression in men has neighbours, and some of them need a different focus. If one of these sounds more like you, the linked page is a better fit.
- You are worn out by work above all, and the exhaustion came before the low mood. → burnout in men
- Your main pain is feeling cut off from friends, more than feeling flat. → therapy for lonely men
- You have reached midlife and are questioning everything you have built. → midlife crisis therapy for men
- You want to look at your life as a man more broadly, not only your mood. → psychotherapy for men
- Something has just happened and you need help this week, not next month. → acute psychotherapy
- You have recently moved to Denmark and the low mood came with leaving home behind. → therapy for expat men
- Anger is what worries you most, and you want to deal with it directly. → anger management for men
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
You can also send me an email
Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“Since my first client in 2004, I have seen depression in men walk through my door disguised as almost everything except sadness: a short fuse, a working week with no end, a bottle of wine most nights, a motorbike bought on impulse. I strongly disagree with the idea that men are simply bad at noticing their feelings. Most men I sit with noticed long ago and decided nobody needed to hear about it. Underneath, I hear ‘Does anyone see how hard I am trying?’ and, close behind, ‘Leave me be, I will deal with it myself.’ Depression in a man is often loyalty to that second voice for far too long.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
Connect with me:
If you want me to call you ASAP, or if you want to book me, use the buttons below.
You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
You can also send me an email
A typical situation
Daniel is 44, a sales director for a shipping company, married with a 9-year-old daughter. Since the winter he has been the first in the office and the last to leave. At home he is curt, drinks 3 or 4 beers on the sofa and goes to bed after everyone else. He bought an expensive road bike and rides it hard and alone. When his wife said he seemed far away, he said he was just busy.
I would start not with his mood but with the busyness, and what it keeps him from feeling. In our first session, Daniel would probably notice that the irritation hides a deep tiredness and some grief he has never put into words. That is far more workable than ‘I am fine’.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need help with depression in men from me
You have pushed through and kept everything running, and still something in you has gone dark.
There is no right moment to start, and you do not need to be falling apart. If you sense that you are not yourself, that you have gone flat or short-tempered, or that the people close to you are paying for it, that is reason enough. In 22 years of practice, I have met depression in men in many disguises, and I can tell when a rough patch has turned into something that needs proper attention.
In sessions, I usually begin by helping you see what is actually going on, what keeps it going and what has to change. The 6 questions below may help you decide whether it is time.
Are you getting through the days but feeling nothing much at all?
If so, take it seriously. Depression in men often looks like functioning. You go to work, pay the bills, take the kids to football, and inside there is very little.
I would look at when the flatness began, what was happening in your life then and whether it lifts at all, on holiday or with certain people. That tells us whether this is a hard season or a pattern that will not ease on its own. If that is your life at the moment, book a session with me. My article on high-functioning depression describes coping on the outside while struggling inside.
Do you need help and also hate the idea of needing it?
Both feelings can live side by side, because they protect different things. Part of you is tired of carrying everything and would give a lot for someone to take some of the weight. Another part believes that a man who asks for help has failed, and would rather sink quietly than be seen struggling. So you drop hints, then shut down anyone who picks them up.
I do not treat either side as weak or wrong. I help you understand what each one guards: the need for support, and the dignity you are trying to keep. The aim is to let you accept help on terms you can respect.
Do you feel you are letting everyone down, however hard you try?
Many low men carry that feeling constantly. A sigh from your partner, a quiet child or a short email from your boss, and you hear proof that you are not enough. You work harder to make up for it, or you stop trying because it never seems to count.
Wanting to matter to the people you love is not weakness. I help you calm the alarm that hears every silence as judgement, test your conclusions against what is actually said and tell people directly what you need. Often the people around you are not disappointed. They are worried, and nobody has said so.
Do you reach for closeness and then push it away with anger?
That can happen when you want comfort and also feel ashamed of wanting it. You come home hoping for warmth, then bite when your partner asks about your day. A friend calls, and you are brief and cold. Afterwards you feel guilty, and the guilt makes you pull further back.
I help you slow this down until we can see the moment the wish for contact turns into irritation. Usually something specific sets it off, such as feeling pitied or managed. I respect those protective reactions, and I will also hold you responsible for the ones that hurt people. Together we find steadier ways to ask for support and to take space.
Do you go quiet, or leave the room, when a conversation turns emotional?
Many men do. When your partner wants to talk, you feel a wave of pressure and say ‘I do not know’ or ‘it is nothing’. It gives you some control. The cost is that nobody knows what is happening inside you, and the low mood grows in that silence.
This distance has been doing a job, and I will not shame you for it. I help you understand what it protects you from, often a fear of being swamped or found wanting. You learn to say ‘I need a moment’ before the moment turns into a month of silence.
Have you lost touch with the man you used to be?
Years of providing, performing and holding things together can wear away your sense of who you are. The man who played music, laughed with his friends or cared about something other than work seems a long way off. It is what happens when a man lives on duty alone for too long.
I help you look at what has gone quiet in you and what is truly yours, apart from the roles you play. I will challenge you when you settle for a life that has narrowed, but I will not tell you what kind of man to be.
If you see yourself here, book a session to start, or request a free call first if you want to know what to expect.
You can also send me an email
Contact me
Request a personal call
Your journey is unique, and you do not have to walk it alone.
Fill out your contact information and I will call as soon as possible.
Support when you need it most.
Your message is treated confidentially and used only to respond to your enquiry. It is not sold or used for advertising. Please avoid including detailed or highly sensitive clinical information in this form. Information about processing, service providers and retention is available in the privacy policy.
Get in touch
What therapy for depression in men with me will help you do
Understanding why you went flat matters, but the work also has to change how you live, rest and talk with the people close to you.
Working with me will help you understand what is happening in you, see the habits that keep the heaviness in place and make changes that you and the people around you can feel. But understanding without any change in how you live leaves you where you started.
I take an active role and tell you what I see. Since 2010 I have been a student of men’s work, which has deepened and added to my psychotherapy training, and Eli Buren, a dear friend and mentor, has been a central influence. Sam Keen’s “Fire in the Belly” describes the man whose life has been swallowed by work and competition until the feeling has drained out of him. I meet that deadened man often, and I do not believe he is beyond reach. These 6 questions describe what we work towards.
How will I help you see what is underneath the flatness?
I help you tell the core of the problem apart from everything that has grown up around it. The drinking, the long hours and the short temper are usually ways of coping, not the cause. Underneath there may be a loss you never mourned, resentment you have swallowed for years, or a belief that you only count when you deliver.
I tell you plainly what I think is going on and what deserves attention first, and I question explanations that keep you stuck, such as ‘this is just how men are’. Whenever you feel ready, book a session with me and we start with your week as it is.
How can you catch the first signs of a bad stretch?
You can learn to see it coming. A bad stretch usually has a run-up: a few nights of poor sleep, a sharper tone, an extra drink, skipping the Thursday football, a thought like ‘what is the point’. Once you can spot the first of these, you have a moment to choose something else.
I help you trace that sequence and see what sets it off and what it costs. We agree on concrete responses, such as telling one person, keeping one commitment or going outside, and you practise them until they hold on an ordinary bad Tuesday.
How can you handle the anger and restlessness that come with it?
Steadying yourself does not mean swallowing the anger or pretending to be calm. It means staying present enough to notice what is happening and choose what to do. In men, low mood often comes with a restless, hot energy that wants somewhere to go, and it tends to find the nearest target or the nearest bottle.
I help you recognise the build-up earlier, understand what your body is reacting to and find ways to release it that do not cost you or others. This needs practice between sessions, a little every day.
How can you tell your partner or a friend what is really going on?
It starts with knowing what you feel and need, which is hard after years of not asking. Many men go from saying nothing to exploding, with very little in between. The unsaid builds up and becomes distance.
I help you find words that are honest, plain and in proportion. I will challenge you when you hide behind ‘fine’, and also when you expect the people close to you to guess. We often practise the actual conversation, so you can have it at home without it turning into a fight.
How can you avoid big, rash decisions while you feel this low?
Clearer decisions come when you separate the low mood’s voice from what you actually know and want. Depression in men can push in 2 directions: towards doing nothing at all, or towards sudden drastic moves, quitting the job, leaving the marriage, selling the flat. Both can be attempts to escape a feeling.
I help you tell apart what truly needs deciding now from what can wait. I will name it when you are avoiding, or rushing, but the decision stays yours. If life itself has started to feel pointless, my article on when life feels pointless may help you put words to it.
What does a life look like where you feel alive again?
Lasting change has to reach your actual week. It may mean shorter working days, less alcohol, more sleep, a friend you see regularly, honest conversations at home, or getting back to something you loved and dropped.
Your drive, your sense of responsibility and your toughness are not the problem, and we will not try to remove them. The goal is a life in which they serve you, rather than a life that runs on them alone.
You can also send me an email
What happens when you begin therapy for depression in men with me
You do not need to know what is wrong or find the right words. We start with how your days actually are.
When you begin, I listen, help you name what is really going on and give the work a clear direction early. I do not expect a neat explanation or your whole life history in order.
Depression work with me is a focused kind of psychotherapy, structured individual work on how you live inside and with others. If the heaviness is bound up with your relationship and your partner is willing, couples therapy is there for long-term relational development and healing. If you know you want a steady run of sessions, therapy discounts and bundles give you real savings and a plan we agree at the outset.
What do we actually do in the first hour?
I ask what made you get in touch now, how your days look, what has changed in recent months and what you have already tried. I also ask about sleep, drinking, work and the people close to you. Your whole story can wait.
Before we finish, you hear my first understanding and the direction I would suggest. You then decide whether my way of working is useful to you. Prefer to talk before booking? Request a free 30-minute discovery call.
When is individual therapy the right choice for a low mood?
Individual therapy is right when the depression lives mainly in you: in your history, your body, your way of coping and the beliefs you carry about being a man. Even when it shows most at home, we can explore your relationships thoroughly without anyone else attending.
I give you continuity and honest challenge from one week to the next. Psychotherapy Copenhagen sets out how my structured individual work runs in general.
When is couples therapy the better choice for you?
Couples therapy is the better choice when the relationship itself needs sustained attention: you have grown distant, the same fight keeps coming back, trust has worn thin, or one of you keeps reaching out while the other withdraws.
In couples work, I help you both recognise what happens between you, take responsibility for what is yours and build more secure ways of being together. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing.
How often should we meet while things feel this heavy?
That depends on how heavy it is and how much capacity you have right now. When a man is low, long gaps between sessions make it easy to slip back into silence, so I usually prefer to meet closer together at the start.
My recommendation is weekly at first. I will tell you if the sessions are too far apart for anything to build, and when we can safely space them out. A few sessions back-to-back over several days are also an option.
When does a bundle make sense when you feel low?
A bundle makes sense when you know you need several sessions and want to remove the decision about whether to keep coming. Low mood is very good at persuading you to cancel. A planned course keeps you turning up on the days you would rather not.
You get significant savings from a bundle, along with the safety of a structured plan. I will help you decide whether one fits. Look at therapy discounts and bundles or the bundle cards below.
How will we know when you no longer need these sessions?
It has done its job when you feel more like yourself, can tell the people close to you how you are and no longer need weekly support.
We review progress openly, and I do not want you in therapy a day longer than it helps. Sessions can space out, pause or stop. If you come back one day with something new, the earlier work still counts.
How it works with me
- Start with a free 30-minute call, or book a first session directly. A few words about how things are is enough for me to check that this is the right place to begin.
- Your first session is a 1-hour appointment, 50 minutes of therapy, one to one, at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or online, in English or Danish. I offer times from 08:00 to 21:00 Copenhagen time, every day of the week, subject to availability.
- We usually meet weekly at first, so the work keeps its momentum on the days you feel worst.
- Every few sessions, we look honestly at what has changed in your mood, your evenings and your relationships, and decide together how to continue.
- If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start. You can see the bundles just below.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Unsure whether this is where to start? Here is how it compares with the options men with low mood most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Depression in men (this page) | You feel flat, irritable or numb and do not recognise yourself. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
| Burnout in men | Work has worn you down and the exhaustion came first. | A paced course of 1-hour sessions |
| Therapy for lonely men | Feeling cut off from friends is the heart of it. | Weekly or every second week |
| Anger management for men | Your temper is what worries you and others most. | 1-hour sessions at a steady pace |
Frequently asked questions
What is therapy for depression in men with you?
It is individual psychotherapy for men whose low mood shows up as flatness, irritability, overwork, drinking or risk-taking as much as sadness. It helps you understand what has gone quiet in you, what keeps it that way and how to come back to life. You can have it in English or Danish, in my Copenhagen practice or by video.
I work with your history, your body, your family and the expectations you grew up with. I do not diagnose or prescribe. You will find it among the main branches of my psychotherapy for men.
How do I know if I am depressed or just stressed and tired?
Take it seriously if the flatness has lasted more than a few weeks, if rest and holidays do not lift it, if you are drinking or snapping more, or if people close to you say you have changed. You do not need a label to come.
In 22 years of practice, I have learned to ask what has stopped giving you pleasure and what you do to avoid feeling it. If physical tiredness is a big part of it, a GP check is also sensible.
Can therapy help if I am not even sure I feel sad?
Yes. Many men with depression do not feel sad at all. They feel numb, angry or simply tired. I cannot promise how quickly things will change, but I can offer steady, serious work on what is underneath rather than only the surface.
In my clinical experience, the sadness often appears later, once the anger and busyness have eased a little. For many men, that is a turning point rather than a setback.
My partner says I need help. Do I have to agree before I come?
No. Many men come the first time because someone close to them kept asking. You only need to be willing to sit down and see whether it helps.
I am not on your partner’s side, and I will not treat you as the problem. We start with your life as you see it. My article on struggling in silence describes how many men hold things in for years.
Why do I get angry with the people I love most when I feel low?
Because anger is often easier to feel than hurt or fear, and the people closest to you are the ones it feels safe enough to show. Some men turn the anger outwards and snap. Others turn it inwards and go silent. It is not who you are. It is how you learned to manage pain.
I help you see what the anger protects and what it costs you and your family. If anyone at home is being hurt or frightened, safety comes first, and I will say so plainly. Then we work with the anger and what lies beneath it.
What if I do not want to talk about my childhood?
Then we do not start there. We start with your life now: work, sleep, your relationships and what has changed. The past may become relevant later, and I will tell you when I think it is, but you decide what you are ready to look at. When the first session ends, you will know what I see and where I suggest we go.
Come as you are, tired or sceptical. Book a first appointment, or try a free discovery call before deciding.
How long does therapy for depression in men usually take?
My recommendation is to plan for a course of sessions over a few months, weekly at first, rather than a couple of conversations. That is often enough to understand what drives the low mood and change some of how you live. If it has been with you for years or connects to old losses, it takes longer.
With 22 years of practice behind me, I would rather we set a clear first stretch and then look honestly at what it has achieved.
Can I do this online if leaving the house feels like too much?
Yes. Online sessions last just as long and work well when your energy is low or you live outside Copenhagen. Even so, the practice room is worth the trip when you can manage it. When your mood is low, getting out of the flat can be part of the work.
In both formats, this is part of my psychotherapy practice, in English or Danish. I do not prescribe medication, so if you are wondering about it, talk to your GP. If you are unsure which format to choose, we can decide on a free call.
What will therapy for depression with you cost?
Sessions are individual psychotherapy in 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, and the current price is on my prices page. You pay by invoice and bank transfer.
If you expect to come for a while, a bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives the work a dependable structure. The options are on therapy discounts and bundles. A same-day transfer from a Danish bank account saves you another 3 per cent.
How do I get started with you?
Book your first session online, or request a free 30-minute call if you would like to talk it over first.
Cannot find a time, or does this feel urgent? Contact me directly. Some of my calendar is kept free for acute cases, so a time within days is usually possible. Make the booking, and we will take it from there.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
Explore other services I offer
Individual psychotherapy
Join the newsletter community
Join the newsletter and receive five practical tips for nurturing healthy relationships – with yourself and the people around you.
No spam. Just mindful insights.