Anger therapy Copenhagen
Help to understand your anger and use it without doing damage
I help you hear what your anger is protecting before it takes over
- Last updated October 17, 2026
What I want you to know about your anger
In this short video, I explain why anger is rarely the real problem, and how you can learn to hear what it is protecting without letting it run the show.
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At a glance
Anger therapy Copenhagen helps you understand where your anger comes from, what sets it off and how to express it without harming yourself or the people you love. You come on your own, for 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, at my practice in central Copenhagen or online, and we talk in English or Danish.
I help you find the hurt, fear or shame that often sits underneath the anger, so you can respond with strength rather than react with force. Anger therapy is a sub-branch of shame therapy within my psychotherapy, because anger is very often shame turned outward. When what follows the anger is mostly remorse, guilt therapy is the closer fit.
Taking the first step can be as simple as a free discovery call. You can also book a session straight away, read my client policy or write to me about what has been happening.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
Anger therapy Copenhagen is for adults whose anger, irritation or resentment has started to cost them more than it protects them. Perhaps you explode and regret it, or perhaps you swallow everything and feel it burning inside. You want to understand your anger and take responsibility for how you use it.
- You snap at your children over spilt milk or a lost shoe, then lie awake hating the look on their faces.
- You go from calm to furious in seconds in traffic or on the cycle path, and your body takes an hour to settle afterwards.
- You send emails at work that you would never write if you waited until the next morning.
- You keep your anger in for weeks, then it comes out all at once over something small, and nobody understands why.
- You feel a constant low irritation with your partner, and every small habit of theirs gets under your skin.
- You were never allowed to be angry as a child, and now you hardly know what to do with the feeling when it comes.
- You carry an old resentment towards a parent, an ex or a former boss that still flares up years later.
- You have promised yourself, more than once, that you will not lose your temper again, and you want help keeping that promise.
This is probably not for you if…
Anger takes many forms, and some situations need a different kind of help first. If one of the situations below is nearer the mark, follow the link to the page that fits it.
- Your anger has turned into violence or threats towards a partner, child or anyone else. Safety comes first, and this work assumes you take full responsibility for your behaviour. → acute psychotherapy
- What you mostly feel after an outburst is crushing remorse, and that is what you want help with. → guilt therapy
- Beneath the anger is a deep sense that you are not good enough as a person. → shame therapy
- Your anger is linked to abuse or a frightening event that still intrudes on your mind. → trauma therapy
- Your anger mostly flares when you are overloaded, exhausted and running on empty. → stress therapy
- The anger lives mainly between you and your partner, and your partner is willing to come with you. → couples therapy
- Sensory overload or ADHD-related frustration seems to drive most of your outbursts. → neurodiverse psychotherapy
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
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Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“Since my first client in 2004, I have met very few angry people who were simply aggressive. Almost always, the anger is a bodyguard standing in front of something softer: grief, humiliation, the terror of not mattering. Beneath the shouting, I hear ‘Why does nobody ever listen to me?’, and in the same person, ‘Just leave me alone before I say something I regret.’ Often they want both at once: ‘Stay and fight with me, but do not come any closer.’ My strong opinion is that anger management on its own is not enough. If you only learn to hold the lid down, the pressure finds another way out. You need to know what is in the pot.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
Connect with me:
If you want me to call you ASAP, or if you want to book me, use the buttons below.
You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
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A typical situation
Rasmus is 46, a project manager in Valby and a father of 2 teenagers. He is liked at work and known as reliable. At home, the smallest thing can tip him over: shoes in the hallway, a door left open, his daughter rolling her eyes. He shouts, slams a cupboard and then goes silent for the evening. He has never hit anyone, and he is frightened by how close he sometimes feels to it. His wife has told him she is tired of walking on eggshells.
I would start with one specific evening, slowly, from the moment he walked through the door. In our first session, Rasmus would probably notice that the anger rises fastest when he feels disrespected or ignored, and that the feeling is very old. We would agree on a clear plan for stepping away before he explodes, and begin to look at what the anger is defending.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need anger therapy with me
You have tried counting to ten, walking away and biting your tongue, and the anger still breaks through.
There is no single right time or right reason to begin anger therapy. If you feel that your temper is shaping your home life, that you are frightening people you love, or that you are carrying anger you never express, that is reason enough. You do not need a diagnosis, a court order or a final warning from your partner before you come to see me. In 22 years of practice, I have worked with anger that roars and anger that hides, and I recognise when it has become a pattern that will not change by willpower alone.
My professional view is that anger is information, and also a responsibility. I will help you identify what sets it off, what keeps it going and what needs to change, and I will be direct with you about the impact it has on others. The 6 questions below describe how anger often works from the inside, so you can see how much of your own temper you recognise.
Is your temper making ordinary days feel like a minefield?
If it is, take it seriously now rather than after the next outburst. Anger often shows up as a constant readiness for a fight. Your jaw is tight, your shoulders are up and small frustrations, such as a slow queue, a late train or a child dawdling, feel like personal attacks. After you blow up, there is a crash: guilt, exhaustion and a long evening of repairing or avoiding. The people around you may start to tiptoe, and you notice.
I would look at when the anger rises, how fast it climbs and what usually happens just before. That shows us whether you are under unusual pressure right now or whether the anger has become a familiar way of protecting yourself. If you recognise this, book a session with me and we can look at it together.
Does part of you want to let it all out, while another part fears what would happen?
Yes, and both parts make sense. One part of you is tired of swallowing what you feel and wants to finally say it, loudly. Another part is afraid that if you open the door, something destructive will come out, or that you will lose the people you love. So you hold it in until it bursts, or you let it out and then clamp down even harder.
I do not treat either part as the enemy. Jung would say that the anger you keep down lives in your shadow, and it grows stronger there, not weaker. I help you meet it in the safety of the room, where you can feel it fully without acting it out, and understand what each side is trying to protect. The goal is not to silence your anger, but to let you choose how and when to use it.
Does your anger flare when you feel ignored or let down?
Very often, yes. Underneath much anger is a fear of not mattering. When a partner looks at their phone while you talk, a friend forgets your birthday or a colleague takes credit for your work, the hurt arrives so fast that it comes out as fury. You may push for a response, demand an explanation or keep bringing the subject up, because you cannot rest until you feel taken seriously.
Your need to be seen and respected is legitimate, and I will not shame it. What I help you change is the speed with which hurt turns into attack. We slow that moment down together, find the fear underneath and practise saying “that hurt me” before it becomes “you always do this”. That gives the other person a real chance to respond.
Do you lash out at the people closest to you, then pull them back in?
Many people do, and it can be painful and confusing for everyone. You lose your temper with your partner or a family member, then feel terrible and want to make up immediately. You may become very warm, apologise many times or need to be reassured that they still love you. A few days later something small sets it off again. Closeness seems to make the anger worse, and distance makes you lonely.
I help you slow this cycle down until we can see what triggers the shift from wanting closeness to attacking it. Often it is a moment of feeling dependent, criticised or out of control. I have real compassion for the fear driving it. I will also be clear that you are responsible for the harm the outbursts cause, and help you find steadier ways to come close and to step back without wounding anyone.
Do you go cold and silent when you are furious?
Not all anger is loud. When you feel crowded, criticised or pushed, you may shut down, go icy, give short answers or disappear into your study or your phone for the evening. It can feel like the only way to stay in control and avoid saying something you will regret. To the people around you, though, the silence can be just as frightening as shouting.
My view is that the withdrawal is doing an important job. It keeps you from exploding, and I will not ask you to give it up. I help you understand what it protects, so you can stay present a little longer and say something simple such as “I am too angry to talk now, I will come back in an hour”. A clear pause is healthy. A wall of silence that lasts for days usually is not.
Has anger become the way you know you are strong?
For some people, anger has been the only safe feeling for a long time. It may have been the way you survived a harsh childhood, a bullying environment or a culture where vulnerability was not allowed. Over time, it can become part of how you see yourself: the tough one, the one who does not take any nonsense. Underneath, you may be unsure who you are without it, or what you feel when you are not angry.
I would help you explore what your anger has protected over the years, and what it has cost you. In shadow work, we look at the parts of you that have been pushed out of sight, often tenderness, fear or grief, and help them find a place in your life again. I will offer you direction and honest challenge without asking you to become someone soft and powerless. The aim is a fuller sense of who you are, with your strength intact.
If this sounds familiar, request a free call to talk it through first, or book a session if you are ready to start the work.
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What anger therapy with me will help you do
Understanding your anger matters, but the work also has to change what you do in the moment it rises.
Anger therapy with me will help you understand what your anger is responding to, see the patterns that keep it going and make changes your family, colleagues and friends will notice. Many people arrive knowing exactly why they are angry. That insight is useful, but knowing the cause while still shouting at your children changes very little.
In my more than 22 years of experience, anger work needs a therapist who is steady, direct and not afraid of strong feelings. I will not flinch from your anger, and I will not excuse it either. I will tell you what I see, challenge you when you blame others for what is yours, and help you build a different response. These 6 questions describe what we work towards.
For men: anger management for men.
How will I help you see what your anger is really about?
I help you separate the anger itself from what lies underneath it. The outbursts, the irritation and the resentment are real, but they are often the surface. Beneath them you will usually find something more vulnerable: humiliation, grief, fear of being controlled, or an old injustice that was never acknowledged. Sometimes the anger belongs to a much earlier time and is being aimed at the people in front of you now.
I bring structure to this. I tell you what I think is driving the anger, what deserves attention first and which explanations keep you stuck, such as “that is just how I am” or “they provoke me”. We work with conscious and unconscious patterns, and with the body, where anger shows itself first. If you want to find out what your own anger is guarding, book a session with me and we will trace it back.
How can you notice the anger before it explodes?
You can learn to recognise the early signs, and that is often where everything changes. Anger usually builds in stages: a tightening in the chest, heat in the face, clenched fists, a sharper tone and a story forming in your head, such as ‘they are doing this on purpose’. If you can feel the first stage, you have a window in which to choose something other than an explosion.
In sessions, I help you slow that sequence right down and map it in detail: what starts it, what it protects you from and what it costs afterwards. Knowing the map is not enough. We agree on a concrete plan, such as a time-out you announce, a walk around the block or a phrase you say, and you practise it until it works at the dinner table, not only in my room.
How can you calm your body when the anger rises?
Calming anger does not mean pretending you are not angry or forcing a smile. It means staying present enough to feel the anger, understand what it is about and choose what to do with it. Anger carries useful information, about a limit crossed or a need ignored. Regulation lets you hear that information without flooding everyone around you. My article on how to process emotions gives more background on this.
I help you notice activation earlier and understand what your nervous system is reacting to, often a threat your body remembers from long ago. We find specific ways of bringing the intensity down that suit you, through the breath, movement or a short pause. I will be clear that this takes daily practice between sessions. Anger patterns are strong, and they change through repetition.
How can you say what is wrong without shouting or going silent?
Clear communication starts with knowing what you feel, what you need and what is your responsibility. Anger often skips the first 2 steps and jumps straight to blame. Or it goes underground, and you say nothing until the resentment is too big to hold. Either way, the actual message, such as ‘I need help with the children’ or ‘I felt humiliated in that meeting’, never quite gets through.
I help you find words that are honest, specific and proportionate to what happened. I will challenge you when you swallow what matters, and I will also challenge you when you make other people responsible for managing your anger. We often rehearse real conversations, with a partner, a teenager or a colleague, until you can say the hard thing firmly without raising your voice.
How can you make decisions that are not driven by rage?
Decisions become clearer when you separate the heat of the moment, old grudges and pride from what you actually know, need and value. Anger tends to push you towards fast, dramatic choices: resigning on the spot, ending a friendship by text or cutting off a family member. Sometimes those choices are right. Often they are made to end an unbearable feeling rather than to solve a real problem.
I help you look honestly at your options, their likely consequences and what each one requires of you. I will give you my professional view and name it when anger is making the decision for you. I will not decide for you. If the anger turns out to rest on a deep feeling of being worthless, shame therapy goes further into that root.
What does a life with anger as an ally look like?
Lasting change has to show up outside the therapy room. The real test is your Tuesday evening at home, the next disagreement with your boss and the next family holiday. You may need clearer limits at work, a different division of tasks at home, more rest, fewer obligations or honest conversations about old injuries. Some relationships may need repair, and some may need distance.
Together we work out which reactions have to go and which parts of your fire you need to protect yourself. Your strength, your sense of fairness and your ability to say no are part of who you are, and they are worth keeping. The goal is not to remove your anger. It is to help you use it with clarity and responsibility, so that it protects what matters instead of damaging it.
You can also send me an email
What happens when you begin anger therapy with me
You do not need to have it under control first, or explain it well. I begin with what is happening now and what you want to change.
When you begin, I listen carefully, help you name the central difficulty and give the work a clear direction early on. I do not expect a diagnosis, a polished account of your childhood or a promise that you will never lose your temper again. I will also ask about safety, plainly, because if anyone is being hurt or threatened, that has to come first.
Anger therapy is a focused form of psychotherapy, structured individual work on your emotions, your history and your relationships. If the anger is mainly played out between you and a partner who is willing to work on it together, and there is no violence, couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. When you know the work will take time, my therapy discounts and bundles give you real savings and the safety of a plan agreed in advance.
What happens in our first session about anger?
In our first session, I ask what brought you now, how your anger shows up, who is affected by it, what you have already tried and what you want to be different. I ask directly about safety at home and at work. You do not need to tell me your whole life story before useful work can begin.
By the end, I give you my first understanding of what is going on, suggest a direction for the work and, where needed, agree with you on a simple plan for the coming week. You then decide whether my way of working feels useful. If you would rather talk first, request a free 30-minute discovery call.
When should you choose individual therapy for anger?
Individual therapy is the right choice when the anger lives mainly in you: in your body, your history, your sense of fairness and the way you react under pressure. That is true even when the anger shows up most at home. Individual work also gives you a place to look honestly at your behaviour without having to defend yourself in front of the person it affects.
In individual work, I give you direction, continuity and honest challenge from session to session. If anger is one part of a wider picture you want to explore, Psychotherapy Copenhagen describes my structured individual work as a whole.
When is couples therapy a better choice than anger therapy?
Couples therapy is the better choice when the relationship itself needs sustained attention, and both of you feel safe. If you are caught in the same argument week after week, if both of you escalate, or if resentment has built up on both sides, working together often helps more than working alone. Where there is violence or fear, individual work comes first.
In couples work, I help you both see the cycle between you, take responsibility for your own part and build more secure ways of being together. That is more than settling one fight. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing, and many people do individual work on their anger first and turn to couples work later.
How often should you come for anger therapy?
The right pace depends on how strong the anger is, how much damage it is causing right now and how much continuity you need to change a deep habit. When outbursts are frequent, sessions close together at the start help you stay on track between them. When the anger is quieter and long-standing, a steadier rhythm often works well.
My recommendation is weekly at first. I will tell you honestly if sessions are too far apart to hold the work, if a period of closer sessions would help, or if you are ready to come less often. Several sessions back-to-back over a few days are also possible, for example after a serious incident at home.
When does a bundle make sense for anger therapy?
A bundle makes sense when you already know the work will take several sessions and you want continuity rather than deciding after each appointment whether to continue. Anger can make you quit when the work gets uncomfortable. A planned course takes that exit away, protects time in your calendar and shows the people around you that you are serious.
Paying for a set of sessions up front lowers the price of each one and keeps you in the work on the days your temper says walk out. After the first session I can give you my honest view of whether a bundle suits what you are dealing with. The bundle sizes are on therapy discounts and bundles, and the cards lower on this page show them as well.
How will we know when anger therapy has done its job?
Therapy has done its job when you have more ownership, clarity and choice, and when your anger has changed enough that you can manage it without the same support. You will still get angry, because anger is a healthy feeling. The difference is that you notice it early, say what is wrong and do not leave damage behind.
We check regularly what has changed at home and at work, and I have no interest in keeping you in therapy longer than you need. Sessions can become less frequent, pause or stop when the work has done its job. Coming back later with something new does not mean the earlier work failed. It means life has asked something new of you.
How it works with me
- Have a free 30-minute call with me, or go straight to booking your first session. Tell me briefly how your anger shows up and who it affects, so I can check that this is the right starting point.
- Your first session is a 1-hour appointment with 50 minutes of therapy, just you and me, at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or online, in English or Danish. You can book any day of the week between 08:00 and 21:00 Copenhagen time, while slots are free.
- At first we usually meet weekly, so the work keeps pace with daily life. Between sessions, you practise the plan we have agreed for the moments when the anger rises.
- Every few sessions, we look honestly at what has changed at home and at work. Together we decide whether to keep the pace, look more deeply at shame, space the sessions out or finish.
- If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start. You can see the bundles just below.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Not sure anger therapy is the right starting point? Here is how it compares with the options people struggling with anger most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Anger therapy (this page) | Your temper, irritation or resentment is hurting you or the people around you. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
| Shame therapy | Under the anger lies a deep feeling of being not good enough. | Weekly 1-hour sessions, longer term |
| Guilt therapy | Remorse after outbursts, or old guilt, is what weighs on you most. | A focused course of 1-hour sessions |
| Stress therapy | You are overloaded and the anger is mostly exhaustion boiling over. | A focused course of 1-hour sessions |
Frequently asked questions
What is anger therapy with you?
Anger therapy with me is individual psychotherapy for adults whose anger, irritation or resentment has become a problem for them or the people around them. It goes beyond techniques for keeping a lid on it, and helps you understand what your anger protects, where it began and how to express it responsibly. I offer it in English or Danish, at my practice in central Copenhagen or online.
I work in depth with your emotions, your body, your history and the patterns you learned in your family. Anger therapy is a sub-branch of shame therapy within my psychotherapy practice, because so much anger grows out of shame.
When should I come to you about my anger?
Come when your anger is costing you relationships, sleep or self-respect, when people around you seem wary of you, or when you have promised yourself to change and it has not lasted. You do not need to wait for a final warning. Your own sense that it has gone too far is reason enough.
Over more than 22 years of practice, I have learned to look at how often the anger erupts, how quickly it rises and how long it takes you to recover. I also look at what you do with it when you do not show it. If you often wonder why you react so strongly, my article on why you may feel so angry may help as a starting point.
Can therapy help if I have had a bad temper all my life?
Yes, often it can. A lifelong temper is usually tied to what you learned early about power, safety and being heard. That learning can be understood and changed as an adult. I cannot promise how quickly it will change, and I do not offer quick fixes. I can offer steady, honest work on the roots as well as practical help with the moments that matter.
In my clinical experience, people who have been angry for as long as they remember are often relieved to discover that the anger once made sense. It may have been the only way to stand up to a frightening parent or to survive at school. I would focus with you on what it protected then, and what it no longer needs to protect now.
What if my anger has frightened someone or got physical?
Then safety comes first, and I will say so clearly. If you have hit, pushed, threatened or intimidated a partner, a child or anyone else, the priority is that it stops and that the people around you are safe. If someone is in danger now, call 112. This page’s work assumes that you take full responsibility for your behaviour, without excuses.
If you are ready to do that, I can work with you individually on what drives the anger and on a concrete plan to prevent it happening again. I will not do couples therapy while there is violence or fear in the relationship. I will be honest about what I see, and if you need a more specialised service, I will tell you.
Why do I explode at some people and go silent with others?
Both are ways of handling a feeling that seems too big. With people who feel safe enough, often those closest to you, the anger may come out loudly. With people who have power over you, such as a boss or a parent, it may go underground, into silence, sarcasm or a slow, steady resentment. Many people do both. None of this is a fixed part of your character. It is how you learned to survive anger, your own and other people’s.
I help you recognise which way you tend to move with whom, what each move is trying to achieve and what it costs. Then we work on steadier options: saying clearly what is wrong to the people with power, and speaking with more care to the people who are closest to you.
What will we actually do in the first anger session?
We start with what is happening now. I ask about a recent outburst or a recent time you held it in, what led up to it and what followed. I ask about safety, and a little about your family and how anger was handled when you were young. Before you leave, I tell you plainly what I think drives your anger and where I suggest we begin.
You do not need to prepare or present yourself in a good light. Many people arrive feeling defensive or ashamed, and that is fine. We can start there. If you want to make a start, book your first session, or have a free discovery call with me first.
How many sessions of anger therapy will I need?
My recommendation is to plan for a course of weekly sessions over a few months rather than a single conversation. That is usually enough to understand your pattern, build a reliable plan for the hard moments and start to change what lies underneath. Anger that is tied to childhood trauma or long-standing shame usually needs longer.
Based on more than 22 years of practice, I would rather you commit to a clear first stretch and review it honestly than drift. We look together at what has changed, ideally including what the people around you have noticed, and you decide with me whether to continue, space the sessions out or stop.
Should I come in person or have anger therapy online?
Come in person if you can. Anger is a very physical feeling, and sitting in the same room makes it easier for me to notice what happens in your body and to help you settle. Online sessions work well too, especially if you travel a lot or live outside Copenhagen, and they last just as long.
Face to face or on a screen, you get the same psychotherapy, in English or Danish. If you are not sure which way to go, we can sort it out on a free call first.
What does anger therapy with you cost?
Anger therapy is individual psychotherapy, booked in 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy. The price at any given time is shown on my prices page. Payment is by invoice and bank transfer.
If you expect several sessions, a bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you the safety of a structured plan. The choices are listed on therapy discounts and bundles. Transfer the payment from a Danish bank account on the invoice day and you save another 3 per cent.
How do I begin anger therapy with you?
Pick a time and book your first session online, or ask for a free 30-minute discovery call if you would like to size me up first. Tell me briefly how the anger shows up and who it affects.
If none of the available times work, or something has just happened at home that frightened you, contact me directly. I keep a few slots open for situations that cannot wait, and I can usually see you within days. Take the first step now, and we will start from where you are.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
Explore other services I offer
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