Therapy for always being in a relationship Copenhagen
Understand why you move from one partner straight to the next
I help you see what each new relationship is asked to carry for you
- Last updated October 17, 2026
What I want you to know if you are rarely single for long
In this short video, I explain why going from one relationship to the next is worth understanding rather than judging, and what we look at together when it keeps happening.
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At a glance
Therapy for always being in a relationship Copenhagen helps you understand why you are almost always with someone, and why one relationship tends to follow another so quickly. You come on your own, for 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, at my practice in central Copenhagen or online, and we can speak English or Danish.
There is nothing wrong with loving relationships, and I will not tell you to stay single for a year. What I help you look at is the pattern: how quickly you attach, what time alone feels like, who you tend to choose and what each new partner is quietly expected to soothe. I see this pattern as one strand of my attachment therapy, which sits inside my wider psychotherapy work. If your question is the opposite one, therapy for “why am I single?” fits better.
If you want to talk it through first, there is a free discovery call. Otherwise book a session, look over my client policy or write to me about your situation.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
Therapy for always being in a relationship Copenhagen is for adults who are rarely single for long and want to understand why. You may move from one partner to the next within weeks, or overlap them, and you sense that the same story keeps playing out with different people. You want to understand the pattern before you start the next chapter.
- You have been in a relationship, almost without a break, since you were a teenager, and you notice it more each year.
- You start dating again within days of a break-up, before you have really let yourself feel that it is over.
- You find that a new person has usually appeared in the background before you have ended things with the last one.
- You feel restless and slightly frightened on evenings alone, and reach for your phone to find someone to talk to.
- You fall quickly and completely, and your friends have learned to wait a few months before taking a new partner seriously.
- You notice that very different partners end up making you feel the same way after a year or 2.
- You shape yourself around each new partner’s taste in music, food and friends, and lose track of your own.
- You have started to wonder who you would be, and what you would want, if you were not with anyone at all.
This is probably not for you if…
Going from one relationship to the next can overlap with other patterns that need a more specific kind of help. If your story sounds more like one of the lines below, follow the link to the page written for it.
- You would like a lasting relationship, but you are mostly single and want to understand why. → therapy for “why am I single?”
- Your main fear is being left, and you need constant reassurance even in a good relationship. → anxious attachment therapy
- You lose yourself in looking after a partner’s moods and needs and cannot say no. → codependency and people pleasing therapy
- Relationships keep ending because you pull them apart just as they start to work. → self-sabotage therapy
- You keep ending up with partners who control, belittle or manipulate you, and you need to recover. → therapy after narcissistic abuse
- You are in a relationship now, and you and your partner both want to work on it. → couples therapy
- You want to look at your patterns of closeness more broadly, across family and friends too. → attachment therapy
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
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Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“In my clinical experience, people who are always in a relationship are often told they are afraid of being alone, and that explanation is too easy. Many of them are perfectly good company for themselves on a Tuesday. What they struggle with is the gap: the empty weeks after an ending, when old feelings have room to surface. Under the next new romance, I often hear ‘Will someone finally stay?’ and, more quietly, ‘If I keep moving, nobody can get close enough to really know me.’ Some carry both in the same breath: ‘Hold me, but do not ask who I am.’ The new partner rarely solves either question. Understanding why you keep asking it does.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
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You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
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A typical situation
Mei is 33, a pharmacist who grew up between Singapore and Melbourne and moved to Copenhagen 3 years ago. She has had 4 serious relationships in 6 years, and she met each new partner within a month of the last ending. Each began with intense closeness, late-night talks and holidays booked early. Each ended with her feeling unseen and quietly furious. Her latest relationship ended in August, and she already has a date on Thursday. Part of her is excited. Another part is very tired.
I would start by asking Mei to describe the first week after each ending, rather than the relationships themselves. In our first session, she would probably notice that the gaps all contain the same feeling, one she first met as a child moving between countries and homes. That gives us something specific to understand before Thursday, rather than a rule about whether she should go.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need therapy for always being in a relationship with me
You have tried to slow down, take a break or choose differently, and you keep finding yourself back at the beginning of something new.
There is no single right time or right reason to come to therapy about this pattern. If you have a sense that your relationships follow a script you did not write, that you do not know who you are on your own or that endings keep hurting in the same way, that is enough. You do not need a diagnosis, a dramatic break-up or a crisis before you come to see me. In 22 years of practice, I have seen this pattern many times, and I recognise when moving from partner to partner has become a way of managing something that deserves attention in its own right.
I will help you identify what actually happens at the start, in the middle and at the end of your relationships, what keeps the cycle going and what needs to change. I will tell you clearly what I see, with respect for your wish to love and be loved. The 6 questions below describe what the cycle tends to look like from the inside, so you can see how much of it is yours.
Do you start something new before you have recovered from the last?
If you do, it is worth taking seriously, because it means the old feelings are being carried into the new relationship. You may tell yourself you are fine, that the last one was over long before it ended, or that there is no point in sitting around. A new person brings energy and hope. Yet months later, the sadness, anger or guilt from before tends to surface anyway, often aimed at someone who had nothing to do with it.
I would look at how long your gaps between relationships usually are, what you do with them and what you feel in the first days after an ending. That tells us whether you simply meet people easily, or whether a new relationship is doing the work that grief would otherwise do. If one partner has often stepped straight into the space the last one left, book a session with me and we can look at what was never grieved.
Do you want deep closeness, and also want to keep moving?
Both can be true at once, because they protect different needs. One part of you longs to be fully known and to stay with someone for the long run. Another part feels safest at the beginning, when everything is new and exciting and nobody has seen your difficult days yet. When the early glow fades and a relationship asks for something deeper, that second part can start looking towards the exit or towards someone new.
I do not treat either side as the problem. Your wish for closeness is real, and so is the part of you that finds safety in movement. I help you hear what each is protecting, so you can make deliberate choices instead of letting one part quietly overrule the other. The goal is not to suppress your love of new beginnings. It is to stop it making decisions without you.
Does being on your own make you anxious or restless?
Many people who are always in a relationship feel this, even if they would never call it fear. A quiet weekend with no plans can feel unbearable. You check messages, open dating apps or text an ex, not because you want them back, but because the silence feels too loud. When someone new shows interest, the relief is immediate, and so is the urge to make it official.
Your need for connection is legitimate, and I will not shame it. What I help you change is the alarm that makes time alone feel dangerous. Together we look at what the silence brings up, often an old fear of being left or forgotten, and you practise staying with yourself a little longer before reaching out. My article on fear of abandonment explores where that fear often begins.
Do you dive in fast and then want out just as fast?
Yes, that can happen, and it can leave both you and your partners dizzy. You fall quickly, spend every evening together and talk about moving in after a few months. Then something shifts. You start to feel crowded, bored or disappointed, and the same intensity that drew you in now makes you want to leave. Before long, you notice someone else.
I help you slow this cycle down in the room, so we can see the moment closeness turns into the need to escape. Usually there is a specific trigger: the end of the early phase, a first real conflict, being depended on. I have real compassion for these protective reactions. I will also ask you to take responsibility for the hurt they cause, to your partners and to you, and help you find ways to stay present when a relationship becomes ordinary.
Do you keep one foot out of the door, even in a good relationship?
Many people who move from partner to partner are not as fully in each relationship as they appear. Part of you stays watchful, keeps an eye on other options or holds something back in case it ends. When a partner wants more, more time, more honesty, more future, you may feel pressured, become vague or retreat into work and friends.
My view is that this half-step back is doing a job, and I will not shame you for it. I help you understand what it protects you from, so you can commit more fully without feeling trapped. You learn to say “I need a bit of space this weekend” instead of quietly checking out. Space is healthy. Keeping a back door open in every relationship is what stops any of them from becoming home.
Do you lose track of who you are between partners?
After years of shaping yourself around one partner and then the next, it can be hard to know what you actually like, want or believe. You may have taken on a partner’s friends, hobbies or plans, and when the relationship ended, you lost them too. Being single, even briefly, can feel less like freedom and more like standing in an empty room. Feeling lost when you are on your own does not mean you are damaged. It is a sign of how much of yourself you have given to others.
I help you separate who you are from who you become in a relationship, and from what you learned in your family about love and belonging. I will offer direction and honest challenge, but I will not impose a rule such as a year without dating. The aim is a clearer sense of who you are, what matters to you and what kind of relationship would fit the person you actually are.
If you recognise yourself in these questions, request a free call to talk it through, or book a session if you already know you want to understand your pattern.
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What therapy for always being in a relationship with me will help you do
Seeing your pattern is a start, but you also need the work to change how you begin, stay in and end relationships.
This work with me will help you understand what is happening across your relationships, recognise the patterns that connect them and make changes you can feel in the next one, or in the one you are in now. Many people arrive already able to describe their pattern in detail. Insight is valuable, but seeing it clearly and then repeating it anyway can leave you feeling worse.
In my 22 years of practice, I have found that the work moves when I take an active role. I will not simply listen to the story of each relationship. I will tell you what I notice, connect the threads and challenge explanations that keep you stuck. These 6 questions describe what we work towards.
How will I help you see what each relationship is carrying?
I help you separate the core of the pattern from the details of each partner. Every relationship has its own story, but underneath you will often find the same elements: a need that a new partner seems to meet at first, a moment when that stops working and a feeling that returns at the end. Often it is something old, such as a parent who came and went, or a childhood spent adapting to other people’s moods.
I bring structure to this. I tell you what I think is going on, what deserves attention first and which explanations are keeping you stuck, such as “I just have not met the right person yet”. If you want to understand why the same story repeats with different people, my article on why we repeat painful patterns is a good starting point. If you want to see your own version of that thread, book a session with me and we will trace it from your first relationship to your latest.
How can you recognise the pattern at the start of something new?
The pull towards someone new has early warning signs, and catching them is often the first real change. A new relationship often follows a recognisable sequence: instant chemistry, a sense of being completely understood, a rush to spend all your time together, an early talk about the future. Once you can see these first steps for what they are, you have a moment in which you can choose to slow down.
In sessions, I help you slow that sequence down and look at it closely: what draws you in, what it promises and what it has cost you before. Recognition alone is not enough. We practise a different pace together, until you can use it when someone new is flooding your phone with messages. If you find that early intensity hard to resist, my article on love bombing explains what to watch for.
How can you stay steady when you are alone?
Staying steady does not mean forcing yourself to enjoy solitude or pretending you do not miss closeness. It means staying present enough to notice what being alone stirs in you, restlessness, sadness, emptiness or fear, and choosing how to respond rather than reaching for the nearest person.
I help you notice that activation earlier and understand what your nervous system is reacting to, often something your body remembers from long ago. We find specific ways of settling yourself that fit you. I will also be clear that this takes practice between sessions, especially on the evenings and weekends that feel hardest.
How can you say what you need instead of looking for it in someone new?
Before you can say what you need from a partner, you have to know it yourself, and know which feelings belong to you. Many people who move from partner to partner find it easier to leave than to say “I feel lonely in this” or “I need more from you”. The need goes unspoken, the resentment grows, and eventually someone new seems to offer what was missing.
I help you find words that are honest, specific and proportionate, so you can raise a need while it is still small. I will challenge you when you stay silent and plan your exit, and I will also challenge you when you expect a partner to meet every need without being told. We often rehearse real conversations until you can have them before it is too late.
How can you decide whether to stay or go without rushing?
Clearer decisions become possible when you separate fear, habit and the pull of something new from what you actually know and want. When a relationship gets difficult, the urge to leave can feel like certainty. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it is the old pattern, dressed up as a clear decision.
I help you look honestly at what is happening in the relationship, what leaving or staying would ask of you and which parts of you are pushing in each direction. I will give you my professional view, and I will tell you when I think you are avoiding something. I will not make the decision for you. The aim is that, whichever way you go, you choose rather than repeat.
What does a relationship that truly fits you look like?
Lasting change has to reach beyond the therapy room. Understanding your pattern in sessions is a start, but the real test is the first quiet month of a new relationship, a first serious argument or a few weeks spent single. You may need different boundaries, a slower pace, more friendships outside your relationship or a different idea of what love feels like when it is safe.
Together we sort out which habits around love are worth changing and which ones belong to you and can stay. Your capacity for closeness, your warmth and your love of connection are part of who you are, and they are not the problem. The goal is not to make you stay single or choose more carefully by rule. It is to help you live with more clarity, so your relationships follow your values rather than your fears.
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What happens when you begin this work with me
You do not need to have analysed every past relationship. I begin with where you are now and what you want to be different.
When you begin, I listen carefully, help you name the thread that connects your relationships and give the work a clear direction from the start. I do not expect you to arrive with a diagnosis, a timeline of every partner or a decision about what you want next. We begin where you are now, whether you are single, newly dating or in a relationship.
This work is a focused form of psychotherapy, structured individual work in which we look at your inner life and your relationships together. If you are in a relationship and both of you want to work on it, couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. Because this pattern takes a while to loosen, my therapy discounts and bundles let you plan a course of sessions ahead and pay less for each one.
What happens in our first session about your relationship pattern?
In our first session, I ask what brought you to therapy now, how your relationships have tended to begin and end, what you have already tried and what you want to be different. We often sketch a simple timeline together, because seeing the relationships side by side shows the pattern more clearly than any one story. You can leave out the full history of every partner for now, because the shape of the pattern usually shows itself quickly.
By the end of the session, I give you my first understanding of what may be going on and propose a direction for the work. After that, it is your call whether working with me on your relationships feels right. A free 30-minute discovery call is there if you want to hear my voice before you commit to a session.
When does it make sense to work on moving from partner to partner on my own?
Individual therapy is the right choice when the pattern lives mainly in you: in your history, your fears, your way of attaching and the needs you bring to each relationship. That is usually the case when the same story repeats with very different partners. We can explore all your relationships thoroughly without anyone else needing to attend.
Working alone with me, you get one person who remembers every partner you have described and who will point out the thread when you miss it. If the relationships are only part of what you want to look at, my page on psychotherapy in Copenhagen shows how I work with a whole life, not just one theme.
When is couples therapy the better choice for you?
Couples therapy is the better choice when you are in a relationship you want to keep and the relationship itself needs sustained attention. If the old pattern is starting to show up with your current partner, distance, restlessness, a wandering eye or the same old disappointment, working on it together can help more than working on it alone.
In couples work, I help both of you see the cycle between you, take responsibility for your own part and build more secure ways of being together. That is more than settling one disagreement. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing, and some people do individual work on their pattern first and then bring a partner in later.
How often should you come for this kind of therapy?
How often we meet depends on how hard the pull to the next partner is right now and how much time and energy you can give the work. If you are between relationships, that window can be a valuable time for closer sessions. If you are in a new relationship, regular sessions help us follow what happens as it unfolds.
For most people with this pattern, I suggest starting once a week or once a fortnight. If the gaps between sessions are letting a new relationship sweep the work aside, I will say so, and I will also say when you are ready to come less often. Sessions back-to-back over a few days are also possible, for example right after an ending.
When does a bundle make sense for this work?
A bundle makes sense when you already know the work will take several sessions and you want continuity rather than deciding after every appointment whether to continue. That matters with this pattern, because a new relationship can easily make therapy feel unnecessary just when it is most useful. A planned course protects the work through those moments.
Committing to a set number of sessions lowers the cost per session and keeps you coming when a new romance makes you want to skip. After our first meeting I can tell you whether I think your pattern calls for a short course or a longer one. The sizes are set out on my page about therapy discounts and bundles, and the cards further down this page show them too.
How will I know I no longer need a partner to feel all right?
Therapy has done its job when you have more ownership, clarity and choice in how you love. You can spend time on your own without panic, you notice the old pull when it appears and your relationships begin, deepen and end by your choice rather than by habit.
We check how far you have come at regular points, because I have no wish for therapy to become another relationship you cannot leave. When you can stay with yourself between partners, we can meet less often, take a break or close the work. If you come back later, perhaps when a relationship reaches a new stage, that does not mean the earlier work failed. It means your life has moved somewhere new.
How it works with me
- Choose a free 30-minute call to talk first, or go straight to booking your first session. Tell me briefly how your relationships have tended to go, so I can check that this is the right starting point.
- We meet for one hour, 50 minutes of it therapy, either in my room at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or on screen, in English or in Danish. Times are available between 08:00 and 21:00 Copenhagen time on any day of the week, as long as a slot is free.
- At first we usually meet weekly or every second week, so the work keeps its thread through endings, gaps and new beginnings. Between sessions, you notice the pull towards someone new and bring it back to the room.
- Every few sessions, we look honestly at what has changed in how you attach, stay and let go. Together we decide whether to keep the pace, space the sessions out or finish.
- If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start. You can see the bundles just below.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Not sure this is the right starting point? Here is how it compares with the options people who are rarely single most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Therapy for always being in a relationship (this page) | You move from one partner to the next and want to understand why. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
| Attachment therapy | You want to look at your patterns of closeness across family, friends and love. | 1-hour sessions over several months |
| Anxious attachment therapy | Fear of being left is the strongest feeling in all your relationships. | Weekly or fortnightly 1-hour sessions |
| Codependency and people pleasing therapy | You lose yourself in each partner’s needs and moods. | A focused course of 1-hour sessions |
Frequently asked questions
What is therapy for always being in a relationship with you?
It is individual psychotherapy for adults who are rarely single for long and want to understand why. It does not judge you for loving relationships. It helps you see what draws you from one partner to the next, what time alone stirs up and what each new relationship is expected to carry. You can do this work with me in English or Danish, face to face in central Copenhagen or online from wherever you live.
I work integratively and in depth, with your history, your family, your attachments and the unconscious patterns that shape who you choose. This work is part of my attachment therapy, because the way we learned to attach as children so often decides how quickly we attach as adults.
When should I come to you about this pattern?
Come when you notice that your relationships follow the same script, when endings keep hurting in the same way or when you no longer know who you are on your own. You do not need to wait for a painful break-up. Your own sense that something repeats is reason enough.
In 22 years of practice, I have learned to look at how quickly you move on, what happens in the gaps and what you felt about closeness and leaving as a child. If the same feelings return with very different partners, it deserves proper attention.
Can you help me stop jumping from one relationship to the next?
Yes, often I can, though the aim is not to stop you from loving. When you understand what each new relationship is meant to soothe, the urge to move on quickly usually loosens, and you gain more choice about when and with whom you begin. I cannot promise a particular outcome, and I do not offer quick fixes.
In my clinical experience, people with this pattern often discover that the gap between relationships is where the real work lies. Feelings that were never given room as a child tend to arrive there. I would focus with you on what those feelings are and on finding ways to bear them without rushing.
I am in a new relationship right now. Is this the wrong time to start?
No. It can be a very good time. A new relationship shows the pattern in real time, and we can work with it as it unfolds rather than only looking back. You do not have to end anything to come.
My position is that therapy is not a judgement on your current relationship. I will not tell you to leave or to stay. I will help you notice where the old pattern is showing up and what you want to do differently this time. You will need to be willing to look honestly at your part, even when things feel good.
Why do I feel so alive at the start, and so trapped later?
Because the beginning and the middle of a relationship ask different things of you. At the start, closeness feels effortless and you are seen on your brightest days. Later, a relationship asks you to be known on ordinary days, to handle conflict and to depend on someone. For many people, that later stage stirs up old fears of being let down or swallowed up. None of this is a flaw in your character.
I help you recognise which way you tend to move when a relationship deepens, what each move is trying to protect and what it costs you. Then we work on steadier options: staying present through the quieter phases, naming what you need and choosing to stay or leave from a calmer place.
What will we actually do in the first session?
We start with what is happening now. I ask about your current situation, how your relationships have tended to begin and end and how you feel in the gaps between them. I also ask a little about your family and the relationships you grew up around, because that is where most patterns begin. Before you leave, I tell you what I make of your pattern so far and where I suggest we begin.
You do not need to prepare or bring a list of past partners. Many people feel a little embarrassed about how many relationships they have had, and that is fine. We can start there. You can book your first session now, or start more gently with a free discovery call.
How many sessions will I need?
I usually suggest a few months of sessions to begin with, at a rhythm of once a week or once a fortnight. That is often long enough to see the pattern clearly and to try something new, whether you are between relationships or in one. A pattern that has run since your teens usually needs longer.
After 22 years of practice, I know that a defined first stretch with an honest review at the end serves this pattern far better than open-ended drifting. At that review we look at how your way of loving has shifted, and together we choose to carry on, meet less often or finish.
Should I work on this alone or bring my partner?
Start alone if the pattern has followed you through several relationships, because that points to something in you that deserves its own attention. If you are in a relationship you want to keep and the pattern is now affecting it, coming together can also make sense, sometimes after a few individual sessions first.
Most of this pattern is worked through in individual psychotherapy, while couples therapy is for when a current relationship needs both of you in the room. If you cannot tell whether to come alone or together, we can work it out on a free call first.
What does this therapy with you cost?
Each appointment is one hour, with 50 minutes of individual psychotherapy. The price as it stands today is listed on my prices page. Payment is by invoice and bank transfer.
Since this pattern rarely shifts in a session or two, many people choose a bundle, which takes 10 per cent off and fixes a plan from the start. Details are on therapy discounts and bundles. Paying from a Danish bank account on the day of the invoice takes off another 3 per cent.
How do I book a session with you?
You can book your first session online in a few minutes, or ask for a free 30-minute discovery call if you want to speak with me before deciding. Either way, you can tell me briefly how your relationships have tended to go.
If you cannot find a time that suits you, or a relationship has just ended and the gap feels hard, contact me directly. I keep a few times free for people who need to be seen soon, and I can usually offer one within days. Book the session, and use this gap to understand the pattern rather than fill it.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
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