In this short video, I explain how I use emotion-focused therapy to help you understand your international relationship across cultural and linguistic differences.
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Expat EFT couples therapy Copenhagen is couples therapy for people whose emotions or relationships are being shaped by life between cultures.
I was born and raised in England and Denmark and, as an adult, have moved to, lived in and worked in nine countries. I combine that experience with emotion-focused therapeutic work.
You can request a free discovery call, book a session with me or explore the wider expat therapy cluster.
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I am a certified psychotherapist (M.A.), the highest professional level recognised in both Denmark and England, and I work from my private practice in central Copenhagen as well as online.
For more than twenty years, I have worked with individuals, couples, and families across multiple countries and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with a calm, grounded Danish presence.
Alongside my clinical practice, I have continued advanced training in couples therapy, supervision, and relational work. I am recently completed Master Class Further Training in Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT therapy) for couples.
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual, couples, and family therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
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You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
You can also send me an email
Emotional and cultural differences have become difficult to separate despite your best efforts to understand, adapt and communicate.
You need this service when your international relationship no longer makes sense through practical explanations alone. Strong reactions, emotional distance, repeated misunderstanding or loss of belonging are sufficient reasons to seek support.
In more than 21 years of practice, I have learned that culture shapes how people express need, conflict, vulnerability and care. I will help you identify the emotion beneath the pattern and determine what needs to change.
Yes, you need help when arguments continue long after either of you can think clearly, when the same dispute repeatedly returns or when silence feels as hostile as shouting. You may be monitoring every word, avoiding the house, losing sleep or trying to carry on normally while the relationship dominates your attention.
I will help you separate the focused trigger from the cycle that keeps expanding it. We will identify what must be contained, what needs to be said and what cannot be resolved while either of you is overwhelmed. If this is already affecting daily life, book a session with me rather than waiting for another escalation.
You can both want connection and still react in ways that make it less possible. One of you may press for an answer while the other becomes overwhelmed and withdraws. Each protective move then confirms the other person’s fear.
I help you see this as a shared emotional cycle without removing responsibility for harmful behaviour. We identify what each reaction protects and create a different way of reaching, pausing and responding.
Silence, uncertainty or a change in your partner’s tone can feel like evidence that the bond between you is disappearing. You may demand answers, seek repeated reassurance or become unable to settle until contact is restored.
I help you reach the fear and longing beneath the urgency, then communicate them without pressure or accusation. Your need for connection is not the problem. The work is to express it in a form your partner can receive.
Emotional intensity can feel intrusive, exhausting or impossible to answer correctly. You may become quiet, factual or distant because withdrawal seems like the only way to regain control.
I help you understand what the distance protects and how its impact differs from your intention. You learn to state your limits, remain emotionally present where possible and return before space becomes abandonment.
You may urgently seek closeness and then push it away when it arrives. The movement between pleading, anger, withdrawal and numbness can happen so quickly that neither of you understands what just happened.
I slow these shifts down and help you identify the emotion underneath each protective response. Compassion does not remove responsibility. It creates enough safety for both of you to respond with greater consistency.
You may no longer know whether you want to repair the relationship, leave it or simply stop the present pain. Betrayal, repeated conflict or prolonged disconnection can make every option feel frightening. You may also be adapting so completely to the crisis that you have lost contact with your own limits and values.
I will offer direction and professional challenge without deciding the future of your relationship for you. We will clarify what has happened, what each of you is prepared to take responsibility for and what evidence would make repair realistic. The aim is an informed decision, not pressure to stay together at any cost.
If the crisis is active now, request a call or book a session so that we can establish what kind of focused support you need.
You can also send me an email
Your journey is unique, and you do not have to walk it alone.
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Support when you need it most.
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Understanding the crisis matters, but lasting change requires both of you to respond differently when vulnerable emotions appear.
I will help you recognise the emotional cycle driving the crisis, understand what each of you is protecting and create new responses that make contact possible. Insight is valuable only when it changes what happens between you.
My professional role is active and structured. I will slow destructive exchanges, help you reach the experience beneath them and challenge both partners to take responsibility for creating a safer emotional relationship.
I will help you distinguish the central emotional injury from the arguments and defensive reactions surrounding it. Betrayal, abandonment, shame, fear of loss or prolonged loneliness may be driving a conflict that appears to be about something smaller.
I bring clarity by identifying what is urgent, what each response is protecting and where genuine contact is still possible. I will offer my professional understanding rather than leaving you alone with competing explanations.
Yes. You can learn to recognise the first signs of the cycle before either of you reaches shouting, pursuit, withdrawal or shutdown. That earlier recognition creates a moment in which a different response becomes possible.
I help you map what happens first, which emotion becomes unbearable and which protective move follows. You will practise slowing the sequence and returning to the issue in a way the other person can receive.
Yes, but vulnerable communication is different from saying everything at full intensity. You need to know what you are trying to communicate and what fear, shame or accumulated resentment has added to it.
I help you move from accusation towards the hurt, need or longing underneath it. I will challenge self-silencing and attack alike. The aim is emotional contact, not victory.
Defensiveness often begins before either partner has understood what is being asked for. A request for reassurance may sound like criticism, while a need for space may sound like rejection.
I help you hear the emotional message beneath the protective form and respond without surrendering your boundaries. Both of you remain responsible for speaking in a way that makes a response possible.
Repair requires more than an apology. The injured partner needs their experience understood, while the other partner must be able to remain present, take responsibility and respond without immediately defending themselves.
I structure this process carefully. We establish what happened, what it meant emotionally and what repeated actions are required before safety and trust can realistically return.
A more secure relationship requires changes outside therapy. You may need clearer boundaries, greater responsiveness, different ways of handling conflict and protected time for emotional contact.
I help you define what must change and how you will recognise whether it is changing. The goal is not to return to the relationship exactly as it was, but to build one in which both partners can remain present and reachable.
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You do not need perfect words before you arrive. I begin with the present crisis and the emotions that neither of you can manage alone.
I begin by listening to both of you, identifying the focused crisis and mapping the emotional cycle between you. I will not require your entire relationship history before useful work begins.
If one partner needs dedicated individual work, I may recommend structured psychotherapy with me. When you need sustained work beyond the crisis, long-term couples therapy with me is the appropriate pathway. For continuity and significant savings, you can consider a structured therapy bundle.
I ask what brought the crisis to this point, what each of you fears and what happens immediately before the interaction becomes destructive. I ensure that both perspectives are heard without allowing the session to become another uncontrolled argument.
Before the session ends, I will offer an initial map of the emotional cycle and clear priorities for what must change first. You should understand both the focused task and the direction of further work.
Individual work is appropriate when trauma, shame, anxiety, identity or longstanding protective responses prevent one partner from remaining present in the relationship work.
I may recommend individual psychotherapy with me so that this experience receives dedicated attention. It is not used to build a case against the other partner.
our work should become longer-term therapy when the focused crisis has stabilised but emotional injuries, loss of trust or the cycle between you still require sustained attention.
You can continue through long-term relational work with me. Containing the emergency is important, but it is not the same as healing the relationship.
During an active crisis, sessions usually need enough frequency to maintain continuity. Long gaps can allow the same cycle to intensify before either of you has had time to practise a different response.
I will recommend the pace I believe the situation requires. That may involve an extended first session, closely spaced appointments or a planned transition into regular couples therapy. I will also tell you when the work can safely become less frequent.
A structured plan makes sense when the emotional cycle is established and both of you need protected time to practise a different way of responding.
A planned therapy bundle provides continuity, significant savings and the security of knowing when we meet next. I recommend one only when it serves a clear clinical purpose.
The focused phase has done its job when the crisis is contained enough for you to think, communicate and decide without repeatedly being pulled into the same emergency. This does not necessarily mean every relationship issue has been resolved.
I review progress openly and will not encourage unnecessary dependency. You may end the work, move into less frequent sessions or continue with long-term relational development. Returning later with a new difficulty does not mean the focused work failed.
It is focused couples support using Emotion-Focused Therapy when painful emotions and protective reactions have taken over the relationship.
I help you slow the cycle, reach the hurt, fear or longing underneath it and create responses that restore emotional contact.
Come when emotional intensity, repeated conflict or withdrawal is making ordinary conversation impossible and the relationship needs help now.
You do not need to wait for a final rupture. In more than 21 years of practice, I have seen how quickly an untreated emotional cycle becomes entrenched.
Yes. EFT can help contain the focused impact of betrayal and reach the fear, grief, shame and anger surrounding the injury.
I will not rush forgiveness. I help you establish accountability, emotional understanding and the repeated actions required before trust can begin returning.
Yes, provided both of you can participate honestly enough to clarify what the uncertainty means.
I will not pressure either partner to stay. I help you understand whether leaving is a settled decision, protection from unbearable emotion or a demand for change that has not been heard.
Yes. This is one of the central cycles EFT helps couples understand. Fear can make one partner pursue contact while overwhelm makes the other create distance.
I help both of you reach the emotion underneath those reactions and take responsibility for expressing it in a form the other person can receive.
I begin with the present crisis, hear both perspectives and map the emotional sequence that keeps taking over.
By the end, I aim to give you an initial understanding and clear priorities. You should know what we are working on and what each of you needs to practise next.
One session may provide direction, but an active emotional injury or established cycle usually requires continuity.
I review progress openly and will tell you whether I recommend further focused sessions, a structured plan or a transition into longer-term couples work.
Attend together when the relationship itself is the focus and both partners can participate safely enough for joint work.
Separate work may be appropriate when one person first needs privacy to address trauma, boundaries or a personal decision. I will help you choose the format.
The current session fees are available when you book an EFT couples session with me. Payment is by invoice and bank transfer.
If several sessions are appropriate, a structured therapy bundle can provide significant savings and continuity.
Book an Expat EFT couples therapy session with me and briefly tell me what has happened and what feels most urgent.
If the available times do not reflect the urgency of your situation, contact me directly.
You can also send me an email
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
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