Compulsive lying therapy Copenhagen
Help to stop lying when you no longer want to and cannot seem to
I help you understand what the lie protects, without shame, so the truth gets easier
- Last updated October 23, 2026
What I want you to know if lying has become a habit
In this short video, I explain why lying so often starts as protection rather than bad character, and what helps when you want to stop.
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At a glance
Compulsive lying therapy Copenhagen helps you understand and change a habit of lying that you no longer want: the small untruths that slip out before you think, the stories you embellish, the cover-ups that keep growing. We work one to one in 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, in English or Danish, either at my practice in central Copenhagen or online.
I do not moralise and I do not try to catch you out. I help you see what the lie is protecting you from, where that habit began and what keeps it going, so that telling the truth becomes something you can actually do. It sits under addiction therapy, part of my wider psychotherapy. If the lies are mainly about money and betting, gambling addiction therapy may fit better.
When you are ready, request a free discovery call, book a session, check my client policy or get in touch directly.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
Compulsive lying therapy Copenhagen is for adults who lie more than they want to and cannot seem to stop. The lies may be small and pointless, or larger and harder to undo. You are tired of keeping track, afraid of being found out and sad about what it is doing to the people you love. You want to understand why you do it, and to be able to tell the truth without panic.
- You say you are on your way when you have not left yet, and you notice you do it even when the truth would be fine.
- You add details to stories that make you sound more impressive, and then have to remember which version you told to whom.
- You feel a jolt of panic when someone asks a simple question, and the untrue answer is out before you have chosen it.
- You lie about where you were, what you spent or who you talked to, and you are not even sure why it felt necessary.
- Your partner has caught you in a lie more than once, and you can see that they are starting to doubt everything you say.
- You lie to avoid disappointing people, and then feel more alone because nobody knows the real version of you.
- You have promised yourself and others that you will stop, and the next lie arrives before you have had time to think.
- You feel ashamed of the habit, but underneath the shame you badly want to be someone people can trust.
This is probably not for you if…
Lying can be part of several different struggles, and some of them need a different starting point. Where one of these fits better, the linked page will serve you better.
- The lies cover up an affair, and the affair is what you most need help with now. → infidelity therapy alone
- The lies are mostly about betting, debts and money you have lost. → gambling addiction therapy
- The lies hide drinking, drugs or another habit you cannot stop. → addiction therapy
- Your partner is willing to come, and you both want to rebuild trust together. → couples therapy
- A deep sense of being not good enough runs through everything, more than the lying itself. → shame therapy
- A lie has just come out this week and your life feels as if it is falling apart. → acute psychotherapy
- The lying feels like one strand of a larger knot, and you want to look at your life as a whole. → psychotherapy
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
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Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“In my clinical experience, people who lie compulsively are not cold or calculating. Most of them are frightened. The lie arrives a split second before thought, like a hand thrown up to protect the face. Underneath it I hear questions such as ‘Will you still love me if you see what I really did?’ and ‘Why does everyone need to know everything about me?’. Often the same person is asking both at once: ‘Know me, but do not look.’ Shaming yourself only makes that reflex faster. What slows it is understanding what the hand learned to protect, and finding out that you can survive being seen.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
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You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
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A typical situation
Emil is 36, a teacher, and liked by almost everyone. He tells his wife he worked late when he was sitting in the car listening to music. He tells colleagues he has read books he has not opened, and once told a friend he had run a marathon. None of it seems to matter, yet he cannot stop. Last month his wife found a receipt that did not match his story, and now she checks his phone. He feels caught, guilty and strangely relieved.
I would start with the second before the lie, not with the lie itself. In our first session, Emil would probably notice that the untruth comes whenever he senses a tiny risk of being judged or found disappointing, and that this fear is much older than his marriage. That gives us something real to work with instead of another promise.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need compulsive lying therapy with me
You have promised to be honest many times, and the lies keep coming out before you can stop them.
Any time is a reasonable time to come about lying, and any reason is good enough. You do not have to be found out first, or lose a relationship over it. If you sense that lying has become automatic, that keeping track of your stories is exhausting, or that the people close to you are starting to doubt you, that is enough. You need no diagnosis and no label to come. In 22 years of practice, I have worked with many people who lied far more than they meant to, and I know when the habit needs proper attention.
In sessions, I will help you see what happens in you in the moment before a lie, what keeps the habit going and what needs to change. My professional view is that most compulsive lying is a protective reflex, and reflexes can be understood and retrained. See whether any of the 6 questions below land.
Do you lie even when the truth would cost you nothing?
If you do, it is worth taking seriously, because this is often the clearest sign that the habit has a life of its own. You say you have eaten when you have not, that you liked a film you never saw, that you are 5 minutes away when you are 20. Afterwards you may feel puzzled, irritated with yourself or quietly worried about getting caught. Over time, keeping track of what you have said to whom takes real energy.
I would look at when the lies come, who they are told to and what you feel just before. That helps us tell the difference between an occasional social white lie and a pattern that is shaping your relationships. If you nodded at that, book a session with me and we will look at where it comes from.
Do you long to be known and still hide behind stories?
Both wishes can live in you at the same time, because they protect different needs. One part of you is tired of performing and wants to be loved for who you really are. Another part believes that the real you is not good enough, interesting enough or safe enough to show, so it edits, polishes and covers. You may feel close to someone and then, at the very moment of closeness, hear yourself telling them something untrue.
The part of you that hides is not the bad one. In psychosynthesis we work with these as sub-personalities, each with its own history and purpose. I help you understand what the storyteller in you is protecting, and what the part that longs to be known is reaching for. The goal is not to shame either of them, but to let the honest part have more say.
Do you lie to stop someone being disappointed in you?
For many people this is where the habit begins. A flicker of disappointment on someone’s face, a pause before they reply or a question in a certain tone can feel like danger. The lie smooths it over instantly. Afterwards you may replay the conversation, worry that they noticed and look for signs that they still like you. The relief never lasts long, because now there is a story to protect.
Your wish to be liked and to stay close is legitimate, and I will not shame it. What I help you change is the alarm that fires at the first hint of disappointment. Together we slow that moment down, find out what you fear would happen if the truth came out and practise saying something true, even a small thing, while staying in contact with the other person.
Do you confess and then cover up again almost straight away?
This back and forth is very common. There are moments when you want to tell everything, to be fully seen and to stop carrying it. You might confess to your partner late one night and feel close for a while. Then they ask a follow-up question, or bring it up again the next day, and you feel exposed and cornered. Before you know it, you are minimising, rewriting details or telling a new lie to protect the old one.
I help you slow this cycle down, so we can see exactly where the wish for closeness turns into the urge to hide. Usually something specific sets it off: a question that feels like an interrogation, a raised voice, an old memory of being punished for the truth. I meet these reflexes with compassion, and I will also hold you to account for the hurt they cause people who trusted you.
Do you lie to keep people at a safe distance?
For some people, lying is a way to protect their privacy when saying no feels impossible. When a partner, parent or friend wants to know where you were, what you feel or why you did something, the questions can feel intrusive and overwhelming. A quick untruth ends the conversation and gives you back a little space. The cost is that people stop feeling they know you, and the closeness you do want becomes harder to reach.
My view is that your wish for privacy is legitimate, and you do not owe everyone every detail. I help you understand what the distance protects you from, and find honest ways of keeping it. You learn to say “I would rather not talk about that right now” instead of inventing a story. A clear limit protects you. A lie usually ends up exposing you.
Have you lost track of who you are behind the stories?
After years of adjusting the truth to fit what others seem to want, it can become hard to know which version is really you. You may have grown up in a family where honesty was dangerous, where moods had to be managed or where only a certain kind of child was welcome. Lying was how you adapted. That does not mean you are fake or broken. It means you became very skilled at surviving.
I help you look at which parts of your story are habit and which are genuinely yours. We often look at what you inherited from your family about truth, conflict and acceptance. I will guide you and name it when you hide, yet the identity you arrive at has to be your own. The aim is a clearer sense of who you are and what kind of relationships you want, ones in which you can be known and still be safe.
If these questions describe you, a free call is a gentle first step, and booking a session is the direct one.
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What compulsive lying therapy with me will help you do
Knowing why you lie is a start, and the work has to reach the next time someone asks you a question.
Together we make sense of the moment just before a lie, uncover the patterns that keep it going and change how your conversations and relationships feel. Insight matters, and many people already know a lot about why they lie. But knowing why, without learning to stay with the discomfort of the truth, rarely changes the habit.
With 22 years of practice behind me, I know that silence from the therapist leaves the lie in charge. So I stay active, and I do not judge. I will tell you what I notice, gently point it out when a story is protecting you in the room and challenge you when an explanation keeps you stuck. Here are the 6 things we work on.
What is your lying really protecting?
We start by distinguishing the lying from what lies underneath it. Cover stories, fear of discovery and rows at home are real, but they are what the habit produces, not what drives it. Underneath them you will usually find a specific fear: of being judged, of conflict, of being controlled, of disappointing someone, or of being seen as ordinary.
I offer a clear frame. I will share my sense of what the lie is guarding, what to look at first and which self-judgements, such as “I am just a liar”, keep you stuck. The panic before a lie is physical, so we pay attention to your body and to patterns you are not yet aware of. Book a session with me whenever you are ready to start.
How can you catch the lie before it leaves your mouth?
Yes, with practice you can feel it coming, and that is where the habit starts to give way. A compulsive lie has a run-up, even if it lasts less than a second: a tightening in your chest, a quick scan of the other person’s face, a thought such as “they will be annoyed”, a sudden urge to make the story better. Once you can recognise that first flicker, you have a moment in which to choose differently.
We take real moments from your week and slow them right down: the trigger, the fear and the price of the lie. Seeing the moment is a start, not the finish. We practise a different response, in the room and between sessions, such as pausing, saying “Hang on, that is not quite right” or simply telling the plain version, until it becomes something you can use in real life.
How can you stay with the panic of telling the truth?
Staying with that panic does not mean forcing yourself to confess everything or pretending the truth does not frighten you. It means remaining present enough to feel the fear, notice that you are still safe and choose your words. The wave of alarm that drives a lie usually passes within moments. When you have felt that pass, without lying, a few times, the reflex begins to lose its grip.
We work on feeling the alarm earlier, understanding what your body is bracing for and finding ways to steady yourself that fit you. Change here comes from what you do between sessions. Small daily experiments, such as correcting one minor untruth on the spot, will do more than one good conversation a week.
How can you rebuild trust with the people you have lied to?
Trust comes back slowly, and it starts with you knowing what you feel, what you need and what you can honestly repair. Shame often gets in the way. You may over-apologise, defend yourself, ask to be trusted again far too soon or avoid the subject entirely. Meanwhile your partner or friend may be checking, questioning and struggling to believe anything. My article on trust in a relationship describes what trust is actually built from.
I help you speak about what happened in a way that is truthful and exact, without grovelling or defending. I will challenge you when you hide behind silence, and I will also challenge you when you expect the other person to manage your guilt or to forgive on your timetable. We often rehearse real conversations, with your partner, a parent or a friend, until you can tell the truth and stay present while they react.
How can you decide what to tell, and when, without drowning in guilt?
It is easier to decide once you can tell guilt and fear apart from what you genuinely value. Do you tell your partner about an old lie that still matters? How much detail is honest, and how much would only relieve your own guilt? With compulsive lying, it is tempting either to say nothing at all or to confess everything at once and hope it will be enough.
We weigh the options and their likely effects on you and on the other person. I will share my view, and I will say so when I think fear is choosing for you. What you tell, and when, remains your decision. If an affair is at the centre of what you are hiding, infidelity therapy alone is designed for that.
What does a life look like when you no longer have to keep track of your stories?
Honesty only counts if it survives outside our sessions. Being honest with me is a start, but the real test is the dinner party, the awkward question from your boss and the evening when your partner asks where you have been. You may need clearer boundaries, more honest friendships, different expectations of yourself and relationships where an imperfect truth is allowed.
Part of the work is sorting out what has to change and what can stay. Your imagination, your charm and your sensitivity to other people are not the problem. You do not have to become someone else. The aim is that your words and your life finally line up, and that you carry them with clarity and responsibility.
You can also send me an email
What happens when you begin compulsive lying therapy with me
There is no need to confess everything, bring a diagnosis or know where to begin. We start with your life now and what you want to be different.
In the beginning, I listen with care, help you describe the kind of lying that troubles you and set a course for the work. You do not need to arrive with a list of every lie you have told, or a full account of your history. We begin where you are, and I do not judge what you bring.
This work belongs to my psychotherapy: structured sessions, one to one, that follow the lying into your feelings, your past and your closest relationships. If lying has damaged your relationship and your partner is willing to come, couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. Once it is clear the work needs time, therapy discounts and bundles bring the price per session down and fix a plan in advance.
How does the first session about lying go?
I open by asking why you have come now, what kind of lies you tell, to whom and in what situations, what you have tried and what you want to be different. I listen for when the habit began and what it seems to protect. You can leave your life story, and the full list of lies, for later.
Before we finish, I tell you what I think the lying is doing for you and how I suggest we work. You decide whether that feels useful. You are also welcome to request a free 30-minute discovery call before deciding.
Is individual therapy the right place to start with lying?
Start individually when the focus is your own pattern: the reflex to lie, the fear beneath it, your history and the way the habit shapes your relationships. Most work on compulsive lying starts here, because the habit lives in your own nervous system and your own choices. Partners, family and friends can be explored fully without any of them attending.
One to one, I hold the thread between sessions and will gently say so when a story in the room does not quite fit. If the lying belongs to a wider question about your life, Psychotherapy Copenhagen sets out my structured individual work as a whole.
When does the relationship need couples therapy instead?
Couples therapy becomes the better route when the trust between you has been damaged enough that the relationship needs repair in its own right. If your partner has discovered lies, feels they no longer know what is true and checks your phone or questions every story, the injury sits between the 2 of you. Repair of that kind needs you both, and it is slow work, not one honest evening.
With you both present, I help you see the pattern of one partner questioning and the other evading, take ownership of your own part and slowly build something safer. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing. Many people start with individual work on the lying and add couples work when they feel steadier.
How often should we meet about the lying?
The rhythm depends on how often the lies come, how much is at stake in your relationships, how much room you have in your life and how much continuity the work needs. A reflex that fires many times a day benefits from regular practice and regular reflection.
I usually suggest every week or every other week at the start. If a lie has just come out, a few closer sessions can help, and when the pattern has eased I will suggest meeting less often. Back-to-back sessions across a few days are possible too.
Is a bundle worth it for this kind of work?
A bundle suits you if you expect the work to take a number of sessions and would rather not reconsider after each one. When a session touches something painful, the old habit of avoiding the truth can show up as cancelling. A planned course takes that choice off the table and protects time for the work.
It brings significant savings and a structure that holds steady through the uncomfortable weeks. I will give you my honest view on whether a bundle is worth it for you. Look at therapy discounts and bundles or the cards at the foot of this page.
How will we know you no longer need these sessions?
We can call the work done when the urge to lie has faded enough that you can stay honest without regular sessions, and you feel you choose your words again. You may still notice the old flicker when you are tired or under pressure. The difference is that you can catch it, correct it and stay in contact with the person in front of you.
I keep progress visible and talk about it with you, and I do not want you to need me indefinitely. We can space sessions out, pause or end. Coming back later with a new question is not a sign of failure. It means you take your own honesty seriously.
How it works with me
- Begin with a free 30-minute call if you want to talk first, or book your first session straight away. Tell me briefly what kind of lying troubles you, so I can check that this is the right starting point.
- The first appointment is a 1-hour session with 50 minutes of therapy, one to one, at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or online, in English or Danish. You can book any day of the week, 08:00 to 21:00 Copenhagen time, subject to availability.
- In the early phase we meet every week or every other week. Between sessions, you try small, agreed experiments in telling the truth and notice what happens.
- At regular points we take stock, without judgement, of what is different. Together we decide whether to keep the pace, bring in couples work, space sessions out or finish.
- Thinking of several sessions? A therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and sets out the plan from the start. The bundles follow right below.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Is this the right starting point for you? Compare it with the nearest alternatives below.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Compulsive lying therapy (this page) | Lying has become automatic and you want to understand it and stop. | 1-hour sessions, weekly at first |
| Infidelity therapy alone | The lies are covering an affair, and that is what you need help with. | 1-hour sessions on your own |
| Gambling addiction therapy | The lies are mainly about betting, debts and money. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
| Addiction therapy | The lies hide drinking, drugs or another habit you cannot stop. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
Frequently asked questions
What is compulsive lying therapy with you?
Compulsive lying therapy with me is individual psychotherapy for adults who lie more than they want to and find it hard to stop. It treats lying as a protective habit rather than a moral failing, and focuses on what the lie protects, where that need began and what keeps it going. You can do this work with me in English or Danish, in the privacy of my room in central Copenhagen or online, where nobody you know will see you arrive.
I work integratively and in depth, attending to the whole of you: emotions, body, relationships and family patterns, rather than only the lies. This work is part of my addiction therapy, because compulsive lying often behaves like other habits that are hard to break.
How do I know it is time to see you about lying?
Come when lying is costing you closeness, trust, sleep or self-respect, or when you notice you lie even when there is no reason to. You do not need to wait until you are caught or a relationship ends. Your own wish to stop is reason enough.
Drawing on 22 years of practice, I look at how automatic the lies are, how far they have spread and how much effort you spend keeping track. If you have tried to stop and keep finding yourself back in the same place, it deserves proper attention.
Is it actually possible to stop lying compulsively?
Yes, for most people it is. When you understand what the lie protects and learn to tolerate the moment of telling the truth, the reflex usually becomes slower and weaker. How fast that happens varies, the old pull may never vanish entirely, and there is no shortcut I can sell you. What I offer is steady, non-judgemental work on the roots of the habit.
In my clinical experience, people who lie compulsively are often warm, perceptive and very attuned to other people’s reactions. The lying grew out of that sensitivity. I would focus with you on the split second before the lie and on the old fear that lives there.
My lies have hurt my partner. Can you help with that too?
Yes. Lies can damage trust deeply, and your partner may now doubt even the things that were true. In individual work, I help you understand your part, take responsibility without collapsing into shame and learn how to rebuild trust step by step. My article on how to rebuild trust after cheating describes many of the same steps.
My position is that trust is rebuilt through consistent honesty over time, not through one big apology. If the lies have been about an affair, infidelity therapy alone is designed for that situation. If your partner is willing to come, couples therapy gives you both a place to repair it together.
Why do I want to be honest and then lie the moment I feel exposed?
Opening up and covering up are both bids for safety. Part of you wants to be close and fully known. Another part learned long ago that being seen can lead to criticism, punishment or rejection. When a conversation suddenly feels exposing, the protective part takes over and the lie comes out. That is not a defect in you. It is protection you learned early.
I help you catch the moment openness tips into hiding, and see what each swing is reaching for and what it costs. Then we build sturdier habits: slowing down, saying you need a moment, telling a small truth and letting someone in at a pace you can bear.
What do we talk about in my first session on lying?
We start with the lies that trouble you today. I ask what kind of lies you tell, when, to whom and what you feel before and after. I ask a little about your family and history, because the habit usually has a past. You leave with my initial sense of the pattern and a suggested way forward.
No preparation or full confession is required. It can feel strange to be honest with a therapist about lying, and we can talk about exactly that. Book your first session, or ease in with a free discovery call.
How long does it usually take to change a lying habit?
Plan on a few months, meeting every week or every other week, rather than a couple of conversations. That gives you time to understand the pattern and to practise new responses in real situations. A habit that has been with you since childhood, or that is tied to older experiences, usually needs longer.
My 22 years of practice tell me that a set first phase with an honest review at the end serves people better than drifting. At the review, you and I agree whether to continue, slow down or finish.
Should I come alone, or with my partner?
Come alone first if the lying is mainly your own pattern and you want to understand it. Individual work gives you a private space to be honest without having to manage your partner’s hurt at the same time. Come together, in couples therapy, when your partner is willing and the trust between you is what most needs repair.
Individual sessions are part of my psychotherapy practice, in English or Danish, in person in central Copenhagen or online. Undecided? Talk it through with me on a free call first.
What does this therapy with you cost?
This is individual psychotherapy, booked in 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy. You will find the current price, with nothing hidden, on my prices page. You receive an invoice and pay by bank transfer.
Over several sessions, a bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives the work a structured plan, explained on therapy discounts and bundles. A same-day transfer from a Danish bank account reduces the cost by a further 3 per cent.
How do I book a session with you about lying?
Pick a time on the booking page, or request a free 30-minute discovery call if talking first feels safer. Either way, you can tell me briefly what kind of lying troubles you.
If you cannot find a time that suits you, or a lie has just come out and things feel acute, contact me directly. I reserve some time for acute situations, usually within days. Book when you are ready, and we will begin there.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
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