Men after job loss or retirement Copenhagen
Find your footing when the work that defined you has stopped
I help you grieve what you lost and build a life with shape again
- Last updated October 17, 2026
What I want you to know when your working life has stopped
In this short video, I explain why losing work hits many men so hard, and why grieving it properly helps you move on sooner.
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At a glance
Men after job loss or retirement Copenhagen helps you deal with what happens inside when the job that gave your days shape, status and company comes to an end. We work one to one, in 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, in English or Danish, in central Copenhagen or online.
I help you grieve what you have lost, steady the days and work out who you are now, beyond a title and a payslip. This is a focused branch of midlife crisis therapy for men, within my psychotherapy for men.
To take the next step, book a session, request a free discovery call, look at my client policy or drop me a line.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
Men after job loss or retirement Copenhagen is for men whose working life has stopped, suddenly or by plan, and who feel unmoored without it. You may have been made redundant, let go, eased out or retired. You want to get through the loss without losing yourself, and to find out what comes next.
- You still wake at 6 and dress as if you were going to work, and then the empty day stretches out ahead.
- You dread the question “so what do you do?” at parties, and you have started avoiding them altogether.
- You have sent application after application, and each silence feels like a verdict on your whole working life.
- Your partner now earns the money, and you feel useless at home even though nobody has said so.
- You miss your colleagues more than the work itself, and you realise they were most of your male friends.
- You retired with a big send-off and a plan to travel, and after 3 months you feel strangely flat and lost.
- You have a beer at lunchtime now, or stay up late on screens, because the days have no edges.
- You feel angry with the company that let you go, and the anger keeps leaking out at the people you love.
This is probably not for you if…
Losing work can touch many things, and some situations need a more specific kind of help. If one of these sounds closer to home, start with the page linked instead.
- You moved to Denmark for your partner’s job and cannot find work of your own. → therapy for men as trailing partners
- Your work is fine, but you feel restless about the whole life you have built. → midlife crisis therapy for men
- You want to look more broadly at your life as a man, not mainly at work. → psychotherapy for men
- Numbness, heaviness or irritability have taken over most days, whatever the cause. → depression in men
- You lost your job only days ago, you are in shock and you need help this week. → acute psychotherapy
- You still have your job and are deciding whether to stay, change direction or start again. → career crossroads therapy
- You came to Denmark from abroad, and being without work here has shaken your sense of belonging. → therapy for expat men
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
You can also send me an email
Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“Over more than 15,000 clinical hours, I have noticed that men who lose their work rarely grieve it. They turn it into a project: update the CV, stay positive, send application after application. Meanwhile the grief goes underground and comes out as broken sleep, sharp words at home and an extra drink at lunch. Underneath, one voice asks ‘Do I still count for anything here now that I bring nothing home?’ Another says ‘Please do not ask me about it. I will sort it out alone.’ Sometimes a man asks both at once: ‘Notice that I am sinking, but do not mention it.’ My strong view is that the man who lets himself mourn his work finds his feet far sooner than the man who skips it.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
Connect with me:
If you want me to call you ASAP, or if you want to book me, use the buttons below.
You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
You can also send me an email
A typical situation
Thomas is 58 and spent 26 years at a pharmaceutical company north of Copenhagen, the last 9 in charge of a team of 30. In March his whole department was closed. He still wakes at 6, showers and dresses as if for work, then sits at the kitchen table with coffee and job sites. His wife leaves for her own job at 8. By lunchtime he has had a beer. When friends ask what he is doing now, he says “consulting”.
I would start with that word, consulting, and what it saves him from saying. In our first session, Thomas would probably notice that he has not let himself feel the loss at all, only the urgency to replace it. Giving that loss its proper weight is where we begin.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need help with me after losing your work
You have tried to stay busy and positive since the work stopped, and something underneath keeps pulling you down.
There is no right moment to get help after a job ends, and you do not have to wait until you are in a bad way. If the days feel empty, if you are short with the people at home or if you no longer know what you are for, that is enough. You do not need a diagnosis first. In 22 years of practice, I have met many men in exactly this place, and I know when a hard transition is turning into a pattern that will not lift by itself.
I will help you see what the loss has touched, what keeps you stuck and what needs to change. Run through the 6 questions below and see how many fit your days.
Have your days lost their shape since the work stopped?
If so, take it seriously. Without a job, many men find that time goes soft. Mornings drift, the afternoon disappears into screens or errands, and evenings feel unearned. Sleep slips later, small tasks feel heavy, and you may drink more simply because nothing stops you.
I would look at what the old structure gave you beyond a timetable, such as purpose, company and a place to be somebody. That tells us whether this is a normal adjustment or a slide that needs attention. If that sounds like your weeks, book a session with me.
Do you long to rest at last and feel ashamed for not working?
Both feelings can be true together, because they protect different things. One part of you is exhausted and has earned a break. Another part learned that a man who is not working is worth less. So you lie on the sofa and feel guilty, or rush into a new job you do not want just to quiet the shame.
I do not treat either side as wrong. I help you hear what each one is protecting, so you can rest without collapsing and look for work without panic. The aim is to choose your pace, not have it chosen by fear.
Do you worry that you matter less now, at home and among other men?
Many men do after losing work. Your partner’s long day at the office, a friend’s promotion or a son’s new career can all feel like quiet reminders that you are no longer in the game. You may look for respect in small ways, insisting on being right or taking over the household.
The wish to matter is legitimate, and I will not shame it. I help you calm the alarm that reads every change as a demotion, and say what you need directly, such as “I am finding this harder than I show”.
Do you want company, then avoid anyone who asks how you are doing?
That is very common. You miss the banter at work and say yes to a lunch with old colleagues, then cancel on the morning. You want your partner close, and when they ask about the job search you feel cornered. Company feels needed and risky in the same moment.
I help you slow this down, so we can find the moment wanting turns into hiding. Often it is the dread of being pitied. I respect why you protect yourself. I will also help you find people and places where you can be among others without performing.
Do you retreat to the garage, the screen or the pub instead of facing the day?
Many men do. When the empty hours or your partner’s worried questions feel like too much, you find a project, scroll for hours or go out for a pint. It gives you some control. The cost is that the loss never gets talked about, and the people at home feel shut out. My article on when life feels pointless looks at that flat, aimless feeling.
My view is that this retreat is a way to avoid being flooded, not a failure of character. I help you see what it protects you from, and say “I need some time, then I will talk” before the withdrawal becomes a wall.
Do you know who you are without a job title?
For many men, work has quietly carried their whole identity: what they say at parties, how they spend their days, how they feel useful. When it stops, you can feel blank, embarrassed or oddly young again. That does not mean something in you is broken. It means you invested a great deal in one place.
I help you sort which parts of your working self are truly yours and which belonged only to the role. I will challenge you when you cling to the old title, and I will not hand you a new purpose. The aim is to find what matters to you now.
If these questions describe your days, request a free call to talk it over, or book a session if you would rather get started.
You can also send me an email
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What working with me after job loss or retirement will help you do
Understanding what the loss means is important, but you also need days with shape, people around you and a direction.
I will help you understand what losing your work has stirred up, see the patterns that keep you stuck and make practical changes to how you live. Insight helps, but a man who understands his grief and still spends every afternoon alone has not moved far.
I take an active part, guiding and challenging rather than just listening. I am a student of men’s work, and have been since 2010. It adds to and deepens my psychotherapy training without replacing it. Sam Keen’s “Fire in the Belly” reminds men that they are more than their work, and that a fuller manhood has room for feeling, friendship, wonder and care. Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette describe the King, the part of a man that brings order and blesses others. After the throne of work is gone, that King needs a new realm, at home, with friends or with younger people. These 6 questions show what we work towards.
How will I help you see what losing your work really took from you?
I help you separate the loss itself from everything piled on top of it. The money worries, the irritability and the empty afternoons are real, but underneath there is often something more specific: lost status, lost company, a broken promise of loyalty or the fear of being old.
I tell you what I see and challenge explanations that keep you stuck, such as “I just need to find something quickly”. We also give the anger and grief room, because they need it. Whenever it feels right, book a session with me.
How can you catch the slide before a lost day becomes a lost week?
You can learn to notice the first signs. The slide usually starts small: a late start, skipping a walk, a thought like “what is the point”, the first beer a little earlier than yesterday. Once you know your own early signs, you have a moment to choose.
In sessions, we look closely at how your recent days went and where they turned. Seeing it is not enough. Together we build a simple shape for your week and practise keeping it, until it holds on the grey days too.
How can you stay steady when anger or panic about the future rises?
Steadiness does not mean pretending you are fine. It means staying present enough to feel the anger at your employer or the fear about money and age, and still choose what you do next. Swallowed anger tends to leak out at home.
I help you notice the rise earlier in your body and understand what it is about, which is often older than this job. We find ways of calming down that suit you, physical as well as mental, and I will ask you to practise them between sessions.
How can you talk to your partner about it without shutting down or snapping?
It starts with knowing what you feel and what you need from them. After a job loss, many men only show irritation or silence, and the partner is left guessing. Unspoken feelings soon turn into resentment on both sides.
I help you find words that are honest and proportionate, such as “I feel ashamed, and I need you to stop asking about applications for a while”. I challenge you when you go quiet, and when you expect your partner to carry all your moods. We rehearse the conversation until you can have it.
How can you decide what comes next without grabbing the first offer or giving up?
Choices get clearer when you separate panic, pride, money pressure and other people’s opinions from what you actually want. After losing work, men tend either to take the first offer or to stop looking at all.
I help you weigh your real options, a similar job, a different path, part-time work, voluntary work or retirement, and what each would ask of you. I share my honest view and name it when you rush or stall. The decision stays yours.
What does a good life look like after work, or between jobs?
Lasting change shows up in ordinary days: a routine that holds, people you see regularly, something you are learning and somewhere you are useful. For some men that means a new job. For others it means mentoring, a craft, a club or more time with grandchildren.
We sort out together what has to change and what deserves to stay. Your competence and your wish to contribute are not the problem. The aim is a life that fits who you are now, with your worth no longer hanging on a payslip.
You can also send me an email
What happens when you begin this work with me
You do not need a plan for your future or the right words. We begin with how your days are going now.
When you begin, I listen, help you name what the loss has touched and give the work a direction from the first session. You do not have to explain your whole career or have a plan for the next one.
We do this as focused individual psychotherapy, looking at you, your working life and your relationships. If the strain is mainly in your relationship and your partner is willing, couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. If you expect several sessions, therapy discounts and bundles bring real savings and the safety of a plan.
What happens in our first session?
I ask what has happened, how your days look now, what you have tried and what you want to be different. I ask a little about your working life and your family, including how your own father handled work and its end.
By the end, I give you my first understanding and a suggested direction, and you judge whether it is useful. If you would rather speak before booking, request a free 30-minute discovery call.
When is individual psychotherapy right after losing work?
In most cases, from the start. The loss lives in your sense of worth, your history and your daily rhythm, and that is individual work. We can explore how it affects your relationship without your partner needing to come.
One to one, you get continuity and honest challenge each week. For the wider picture, Psychotherapy Copenhagen explains how I work with individuals.
When is couples therapy the better choice?
Choose couples therapy when the relationship itself needs sustained attention, not just you. If the job loss has turned into the same fight every evening, if roles at home have flipped and resentment is building, or if one of you pursues while the other withdraws, working on it together often helps more.
With both of you there, I help you see the cycle, own your parts and build more secure ways of relating. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing.
How often should you come?
It depends on how hard the days feel and how much structure you need. Right after a job ends, a fixed weekly session can be one of the few appointments in your calendar, and that matters.
I usually recommend weekly sessions at first, spacing out as your days find their shape. I will tell you if the gaps are too long or if we can meet less often. Back-to-back sessions over a few days are also possible if you prefer that.
When does a bundle make sense after job loss?
A bundle makes sense when you know the work will take several sessions and want a steady thread through an uncertain time. It also removes the weekly debate about whether you can justify the cost.
You also get significant savings, plus the safety of a structured plan when much else is uncertain. I will tell you whether one suits your situation. The bundle cards below, and my page on therapy discounts and bundles, list what is available.
How will we know the work is done?
It is done when the loss has been felt rather than buried, your days have a shape you like, and you can carry on without the same support. You can answer “what do you do?” without flinching.
I review progress openly and do not encourage dependence. Sessions can thin out, pause or end. If a new job, or retirement itself, brings fresh questions later, coming back is part of life, not a sign of failure.
How it works with me
- Begin with a free 30-minute call or book your first session. A short note about what has happened helps me check that this is the right place to start.
- Your session is a 1-hour appointment with 50 minutes of therapy, at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or online, in English or Danish. Sessions are available between 08:00 and 21:00 Copenhagen time, every day of the week, subject to availability.
- At first we usually meet weekly, so that the sessions give your week some structure. Between them, you try the small changes we agree on.
- Every few sessions, we review what has shifted. Together we decide whether to keep the pace, space out, focus on one theme or finish.
- If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start. You can see the bundles just below.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Not sure this is the right starting point? Here is how it compares with the options men in your situation most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Men after job loss or retirement (this page) | Your working life has stopped and you feel lost without it. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
| Midlife crisis therapy for men | Your job is fine, but your whole life feels wrong. | Weekly or fortnightly sessions |
| Depression in men | Numbness, heaviness or irritability have taken over. | Sessions close together at first |
| Therapy for men as trailing partners | You followed your partner to Denmark and have no work here. | 1-hour sessions at your pace |
Frequently asked questions
What is your work with men after job loss or retirement?
It is individual psychotherapy for men whose working life has ended, through redundancy, dismissal, illness or retirement, and who feel lost, ashamed or flat without it. It helps you grieve the loss, steady your days and find out who you are beyond your work. It is available in English or Danish, at my Copenhagen practice or on screen.
It is a sub-branch of my midlife work with men, rooted in depth psychotherapy.
When should I come to you after losing my job?
Come when the loss is costing you sleep, patience, health or closeness, or when weeks pass and you feel no steadier. You do not need to wait until you have hit bottom.
Over 22 years, I have learned to watch for the quiet signs: drinking earlier, avoiding friends, sharp words at home and a growing sense of pointlessness. If you recognise them, it is worth acting on.
Can therapy help me find a new job?
Not directly. I am a psychotherapist, not a career coach or recruiter. What therapy can do is work on what makes the search so hard, such as the shame, the anger, the loss of confidence or the panic, so that you look for the right thing in a steadier way.
If you are an international looking for work here, my article on finding a job in Denmark as a foreigner covers the emotional side of that search.
I am retired and should be happy. Why do I feel so lost?
Because retirement is a loss as well as a gift. You lose a role, a rhythm, colleagues and a way of being useful, often all at once. Feeling lost does not mean you are ungrateful or doing it wrong.
I help you grieve what has ended and find out what you want this part of life to hold. For many men, that turns out to be less about filling time and more about feeling needed again.
Why do I snap at home and then go silent?
Both are ways of protecting yourself when you feel small or out of control. Snapping gives a burst of strength. Silence keeps the hurt out of sight. Many men do both in the same evening, and feel worse afterwards.
I help you see what sets off each move, what it protects and what it costs your partner and family. Then we work on steadier options: saying you are struggling, taking a break without disappearing and coming back to the conversation.
What will we actually do in the first session?
We talk about what has happened, how you are sleeping and spending your days, and what is hardest. I ask what work meant to you and what you have lost with it. By the end, you will hear my honest first view.
You do not need to prepare or arrive with a plan. “I do not know what to do with myself” is a fine place to start. Book your first session when you feel ready, or try a free discovery call before that.
How many sessions will I need?
Plan for a course over a few months, usually weekly at the start. If the loss has stirred up older pain, or low mood has set in, it may take longer.
Drawing on 22 years of practice, I suggest we agree on a first stretch and review it honestly. After that, the choice to continue, slow down or stop is one we make together.
Should I come in person or online?
Come in person if you can. Getting dressed and travelling to my practice gives your week a fixed point, which is often part of the help. Online sessions work well too, if you live outside Copenhagen or find leaving home hard at the moment, and they last just as long.
Either way it is the same psychotherapy, in English or Danish. If you are unsure, we can decide on a free call.
What does this cost, especially without an income?
Sessions are booked as 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, as with all my individual psychotherapy. The current price is on my prices page. You pay by invoice and bank transfer.
A bundle lowers the cost per session by 10 per cent and gives you a structured plan, see therapy discounts and bundles. Pay the same day from a Danish bank account and another 3 per cent comes off.
How do I get started with you?
Book your first session online, or ask for a free 30-minute call if you want to talk first. A short note is enough.
If you have just lost your job and feel in shock, or no time suits you, contact me directly. I hold some time back for acute situations, so I can usually see you within days.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
Explore other services I offer
Individual psychotherapy
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