Social anxiety therapy Copenhagen
Help to feel at ease with people instead of on trial
I help you stop performing and start being met as you are
- Last updated October 17, 2026
What I want you to know about feeling watched and judged
In this short video, I explain why hiding and over-preparing keep social fear alive, and how being seen in a safe relationship begins to change it.
You can also send me an email
At a glance
Social anxiety therapy Copenhagen helps you when the fear of being judged, watched or embarrassed by other people makes meetings, parties, phone calls and even small talk feel like an ordeal. It is just the 2 of us, no group and no audience, in 1-hour appointments that hold 50 minutes of therapy, in English or Danish, at my central Copenhagen practice or online.
I help you understand where the inner critic that watches you comes from, loosen the habits of hiding and rehearsing, and practise being with people as yourself. Social anxiety is one form of anxiety therapy, within my wider psychotherapy.
If talking feels like the hard part, you can book a session online without speaking to anyone, read my client policy first, send me a written message or, when you feel up to it, ask for a free discovery call.
Is this the right page for you?
This is for you if…
Social anxiety therapy Copenhagen is for adults who feel intensely self-conscious around other people and fear being judged, rejected or embarrassed. You may be at ease with a few people you trust and frozen in groups, at work or with strangers. You want to stop dreading ordinary social moments and feel more like yourself with others.
- You rehearse what you will say before a meeting, and still feel your face burn when it is your turn to speak.
- You arrive late to parties or leave early, so you do not have to stand alone holding a drink and looking for someone.
- You let calls go to voicemail and wait for a text instead, because speaking live feels too exposed.
- You go over a conversation afterwards, sure you sounded stupid, and feel a hot wave of shame for hours.
- You avoid eating in front of colleagues, raising your hand in a course or asking a question at the doctor.
- You have turned down a promotion, a presentation or a date because the thought of being looked at was too much.
- You moved to Copenhagen and find it even harder to make friends, because the social codes feel new and hard to read.
- You are warm and funny with one or 2 close people, and you want others to be able to see that side of you too.
This is probably not for you if…
Feeling uneasy with people can come from several places, and some of them need a more specific kind of help. Should one of the situations below fit you more closely than fear of judgement does, the linked page is the better place to start.
- Your worry is broad and constant, and other people are only one part of it. → anxiety therapy
- You replay many kinds of decisions and situations, not mainly social ones. → overthinking therapy
- You have sudden physical attacks of fear in many places, not only around people. → panic attack therapy
- You are not afraid of people as much as lonely and without a network. → loneliness therapy
- Your main struggle is a deep sense of being flawed or not good enough, beyond social situations. → shame therapy
- Your social fear is bound up with adjusting to life as an expat in Denmark. → expat psychotherapy
- Your difficulty with social settings is closely tied to being autistic. → autism psychotherapy
- You are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life. Please call 112, or 1813 for urgent mental health help in the Capital Region.
You can also send me an email
Client reviews
The reviews shown here are shared by clients who have worked with me in therapy and chosen to reflect on their experience. They are collected via Google and displayed through an independent verification service, offering an open and transparent picture of how my work is experienced.
Mark’s view
“Since my first client in 2004, I have noticed that people with social anxiety are rarely as awkward as they believe. What exhausts them is the commentator inside, the voice that watches every word and grades it. Avoiding people does not quieten that voice. It gives it the last word. Underneath, I hear ‘Will they still like me if they see how nervous I am?’ and, close by, ‘It is easier to keep to myself than to risk it.’ Many people long to be part of the group and want to slip out unnoticed in the same evening. My view is simple: you change this by being seen, little by little, not by hiding better.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
Connect with me:
If you want me to call you ASAP, or if you want to book me, use the buttons below.
You are welcome to get in touch. We can clarify what’s the right therapy for you.
You can also send me an email
A typical situation
Clara is 27, a graphic designer from Hamburg who moved to Copenhagen 2 years ago. At work she eats lunch at her desk, because the canteen table feels like a stage. She has a script ready for the Friday bar and still leaves after 20 minutes. When a colleague invited her to a birthday dinner, she said yes and then cancelled with a made-up cold. She video-calls her old friends most evenings and wonders why she cannot be that person here.
I would start with the moment Clara walks towards the canteen table and ask what she imagines the others are thinking. In a first session like this, people often discover how harsh the inner judge is and whose voice it echoes, and that is where our work begins.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
This is when you need social anxiety therapy with me
You have pushed yourself to go out, prepared every word and still come home feeling exposed and drained.
There is no single right time or right reason to come to therapy for social anxiety. If fear of other people’s judgement is shaping your work, your friendships or your love life, if you are turning down chances you want, or if you simply feel lonely behind a wall you cannot get past, that is enough. You do not need a diagnosis, a polished explanation or a crisis before you come to see me. In more than 22 years of practice, I have sat with many people who felt on trial in every room, and I recognise when shyness has become a pattern that deserves professional attention.
My professional view is that social anxiety is held in place more by what you do to protect yourself than by the fear itself. I will help you identify what happens inside you around people, what keeps it going and what needs to change. Run through the 6 questions below and notice how many of them describe your own social fear.
Do social plans cost you days of dread and days of recovery?
If they do, it is time to act. Social anxiety often shows itself in the time around an event more than in the event itself. You dread a team dinner for a week, plan your outfit and your exit, and lie awake the night before. Afterwards you feel wiped out and replay every moment. Before long, you start saying no, not because you do not want to go, but because the cost feels too high.
I would look at which situations cost you most, how long this has been going on and whether it has grown since a move, a new job or a painful experience. That shows us whether you are under temporary pressure or living with a pattern that will keep narrowing your life. If this is familiar, book a session with me and we will start there.
Do you long to belong and also long to disappear?
Many people with social anxiety feel both at once, and each wish makes sense. One part of you wants friends, a place in the group, laughter and being invited. Another part wants to stay unseen, because being invisible feels safer than being judged. At a party you may want to join the circle and hide in the kitchen within the same 5 minutes. Afterwards, you may feel relieved and lonely at the same time.
I do not treat the hiding part as the problem and the outgoing part as the solution. In psychosynthesis, we work with these parts as inner figures, each with something to protect and something to offer. I help you hear what the hidden part fears and what the part that longs to belong is reaching for. When both have a voice, you can choose how and when to step forward.
Do you keep scanning faces for signs that people dislike you?
Many people do, often without noticing. In a conversation, part of your attention is on what you are saying and part is watching the other person’s face for boredom, irritation or judgement. A glance at a phone or a short reply can feel like proof that you have failed. Afterwards you may check messages, ask a friend whether you seemed odd or search for clues that you are still liked.
Your wish to be liked and to belong is legitimate, and I will not shame it. What I help you change is the alarm that reads rejection into ordinary moments. Together we look at the older fear behind it, often of being left out or not mattering, and you practise asking directly and staying present instead of scanning for danger.
Do you reach out to people and then pull back as soon as they respond?
Yes, this happens a lot, and it can puzzle the people around you. You send a message suggesting coffee, then feel panicky when they say yes. You open up to a new colleague, then avoid them for a week because you feel you said too much. Getting closer feels like what you want, and it also feels like exposure. So you move forward and back, and people may read it as coldness.
I help you slow this pattern down in the room, so we can see exactly what turns the wish to connect into the urge to retreat. Often it is the moment you feel truly seen. I have real compassion for that protection. I will also ask you to notice its cost to your friendships, and help you find ways to stay in contact at a pace you can manage, and to say so when you need a step back.
Do you go quiet and fade into the background when attention turns to you?
Many people with social anxiety have learned to become small. In meetings you say little, at dinners you ask questions so nobody asks about you, and in groups you let others lead. You may be very good at listening and reading the room. It feels safe and controlled. The cost is that people rarely get to know you, and you can leave a gathering feeling that nobody really saw you at all.
My view is that this quietness protects something real, and I will not shame your need for space or your preference for small groups. I help you understand what it protects you from, so you can stay visible a little longer without feeling overwhelmed. You learn to say “I need a few minutes outside” rather than disappearing. Quiet is fine. Being invisible against your will usually is not.
Have you lost track of who you are when nobody is watching?
After years of managing how you come across, it can be hard to know who you really are. You may shape your opinions to fit the room, laugh at things you do not find funny or hide your interests in case they seem strange. Over time, the performance can feel more real than you do. That does not mean you have no self. It means you have been protecting it very carefully.
I help you find your own voice again. That often means looking at where you learned that being yourself was risky, perhaps in a critical family, at school, in a culture with strict social rules or through moving between countries. I will challenge you when you shrink to fit, and I will not hand you a new personality. The aim is to know more clearly who you are and what kind of company and life suit you.
If you recognise yourself in these questions, request a free call if speaking on the phone feels manageable, or book a session directly if it does not.
You can also send me an email
Contact me
Request a personal call
Your journey is unique, and you do not have to walk it alone.
Fill out your contact information and I will call as soon as possible.
Support when you need it most.
Your message is treated confidentially and used only to respond to your enquiry. It is not sold or used for advertising. Please avoid including detailed or highly sensitive clinical information in this form. Information about processing, service providers and retention is available in the privacy policy.
Get in touch
What social anxiety therapy with me will help you do
Understanding your social fear matters, but the work also has to change how you speak, join in and let yourself be known.
Social anxiety therapy with me will help you understand what happens inside you around other people, see the patterns of hiding and self-monitoring that keep the fear alive and make changes you can feel at work, with friends and in new situations. Many people already know that others are not watching them as closely as they think. Knowing it rarely changes how it feels.
Over more than 22 years, I have seen that social fear shifts faster when I take part actively instead of only listening. The therapy relationship itself becomes a place to practise being seen. I will tell you what I notice, encourage you to take small social risks and challenge you when avoidance takes over. These 6 questions describe what we work towards.
How will I help you see what your social anxiety is really about?
I help you separate the fear from the story that keeps it alive. Blushing, a shaky voice or a blank mind are real, but they are not the core. Underneath, you will usually find a harsh inner judge and a belief that something about you is wrong or too much. That judge often sounds like someone from your past: a critical parent, a teasing sibling, a classroom that laughed.
I bring structure to this. I tell you what I see, which situations deserve attention first and which explanations keep you stuck, such as “I am just not a people person”. I work with the inner critic as a sub-personality you can come to know, rather than a truth you must obey. Whenever you feel ready to meet that inner judge head on, book a session with me.
How can you notice the self-consciousness before it takes over?
You can learn to catch the moment you leave the conversation and start watching yourself from outside, and that is where change starts. There is usually a sequence: a sense of being looked at, heat in your face, a critical thought about how you seem, then the urge to hide, go quiet or say something safe. When you can feel the first step, you have a moment to choose something else.
In sessions, I help you slow that sequence down and look at each part: the trigger, the inner commentary, what your body did and what you did next. Recognition alone is not enough. Together we practise turning your attention back outward and staying in contact, first with me and then in real situations, until you can do it at a Friday bar or in a team meeting.
How can you calm your body when you feel all eyes on you?
Calming your body does not mean forcing yourself to look relaxed or hiding every sign of nerves. It means staying present enough to notice what is happening inside you and still choose how to respond. Trying not to blush usually makes it worse. Letting it happen often lets it pass.
I help you notice the physical signs earlier and understand what your nervous system is bracing for, often an old memory of being exposed. We find simple ways of steadying yourself that you can use without anyone noticing. I will be honest that calm around people is learned outside the room, in the days between our sessions. A small social step each week will do more than any insight in the room.
How can you speak up without rehearsing or apologising?
Speaking up starts with knowing what you think, feel and want, rather than what you believe others want to hear. People with social anxiety often stay silent, prepare long scripts or begin every sentence with an apology. Fear of sounding foolish, of taking up too much space or of being disliked makes direct speech feel dangerous.
I help you find words that are honest, specific and in proportion, such as saying your idea in a meeting or telling a friend you would like to see them more often. I will challenge you when you silence yourself, and also when you hand others the job of making you feel comfortable. We often practise real conversations in the room until they feel possible.
How can you make choices that are not ruled by fear of judgement?
Choices become clearer when you separate what you want from what feels safe socially. Social fear quietly makes many decisions: which job you apply for, whether you join a course, whether you move, whether you go on a date. Each choice may feel sensible, and together they can build a life organised around not being looked at.
I help you look at your options honestly: what you would choose if you were less afraid of other people’s opinions, what it would ask of you and which step you are ready to try. I will give you my professional view, and I will tell you when I think avoidance is making the choice. I will not make it for you.
What does it look like to be with people as yourself?
Lasting change has to show up in ordinary moments: joining the lunch table, making a phone call without a script, speaking in a meeting, saying yes to an invitation and actually enjoying it. You may still feel some nerves, as most people do. The difference is that they no longer decide whether you show up. You may need to build new friendships slowly, choose settings that suit you and give yourself permission to be quieter or louder than you think you should be.
We work out together which of your social habits need to shift and which are simply part of who you are. Your sensitivity to other people, your thoughtfulness and your preference for depth are not the problem, and the goal is not to turn you into someone else. The goal is that you can be yourself with others and choose your company freely.
You can also send me an email
What happens when you begin social anxiety therapy with me
You do not need to know what to say or how to come across. We start with the social moments that are hard today and the ones you would like to be easier.
When you begin, I listen carefully, help you name the social situations that cost you most and give the work a clear direction. I know that meeting a new person, a therapist included, can be exactly what you fear. We go at a pace you can manage, and you do not need a diagnosis or a polished account of your history.
Social anxiety therapy is a focused form of psychotherapy, structured individual work in which we look at your inner life and your relationships together. If your fear is tangled up in your relationship and your partner is willing to take part, couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. If you suspect that loosening the fear will take a while, my therapy discounts and bundles reduce the cost and settle the plan up front, so you are not facing a new booking every week.
What happens in our first session about social anxiety?
In our first session, I ask what brought you now, which situations are hardest, what you do to cope and what you have stopped doing. I also ask how it feels to be in the room with me, because that is useful information. There is no need to give me your whole history before we can do something useful.
By the end, I give you my first understanding of what keeps your social fear going and propose a direction. Whether my approach suits you is then entirely your decision. A free 30-minute discovery call is available if you would like to hear how I sound before you book.
When is individual psychotherapy the right choice for social anxiety?
Individual work is right when the fear lives mainly in you: in your inner critic, your history, your sense of yourself and the way you protect yourself around people. That is true for almost all social anxiety. One to one, you also have a safe relationship in which to practise being seen before you try it elsewhere.
One to one, I keep track of each small social step you take, steer the work and challenge you kindly when hiding starts to look like the sensible option. If you want to look at your life more broadly, with social fear as one theme among several, Psychotherapy Copenhagen describes my structured individual work as a whole.
When is couples therapy a better choice than working on social anxiety alone?
Choose couples therapy when your social fear has become a strain on the partnership itself and that strain needs ongoing work. If your social fear has led to conflict about friends, family or going out, if your partner has become your only social world, or if one of you pursues while the other withdraws, the pattern lives between you as well as inside you.
Working with you both, I help you spot the loop your social fear sets off between you, own your separate parts in it and find steadier ways of facing the world as a pair. That is more than settling one disagreement about a party. Couples therapy Copenhagen is long-term relational development and healing, and many people work on social anxiety alone first.
How often should you come for social anxiety therapy?
The right pace depends on how much the fear limits your life, how much room you have and how much continuity the work needs. Because avoidance tends to creep back, regular sessions help you keep taking small social steps instead of retreating between appointments.
My recommendation is to begin weekly, or every second week if that is all you can manage. I will tell you honestly if sessions are too far apart for the work to build, and when they can become less frequent. Online sessions are a good first step if coming to the practice feels too much at the start.
When does a bundle make sense for social anxiety therapy?
A bundle makes sense when you know the work will take several sessions and you want continuity instead of deciding after each appointment whether to book again. For many people with social anxiety, booking itself is a small ordeal. A planned course removes that step and protects the time for the work.
A bundle lowers the cost per session and gives you a set course to follow. We can weigh together whether your social anxiety work is likely to need one. The cards below and my page on therapy discounts and bundles show what is available.
How will we know when social anxiety therapy has done its job?
Therapy has done its job when the fear of judgement no longer decides where you go, who you talk to or what you say, and when you can carry on without the same support. You may still feel shy at times. The difference is that you show up anyway and often enjoy it.
We look at your progress together in plain terms, and I have no wish to keep you coming longer than you need. Once the fear has stopped running your social life, we can meet less often, take a break or finish. If a new job, a move or a new relationship brings the fear back later, returning does not mean the earlier work failed.
How it works with me
- Start with a free 30-minute call, or book your first session directly if a call feels too much. A short written note about what you find hardest is enough.
- The first meeting is a 1-hour appointment, 50 minutes of it therapy, with only the 2 of us present, at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen or on screen, in English or Danish. You can pick a quiet morning slot or an evening one, any day from 08:00 to 21:00 Copenhagen time, depending on what is free.
- We usually meet weekly at first. Between sessions, you try small social steps that we agree on together, and bring back what happened.
- Every few sessions, we look honestly at what has changed in your work and social life. Then we choose between carrying on at the same rhythm, leaving more time between sessions or bringing the work to an end.
- If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start, with no need to book again each time. You can see the bundles just below.
Save with a prepaid session bundle
How the bundle works
- Current bundle savings are shown on the Pricing page.
- Your bundle is valid for 180 days from the date of purchase.
- The bundle can only be used for the type of session stated on your invoice.
- If you request a refund, sessions already used are recalculated at the standard single-session price.
- The administration fee applied to a bundle refund is shown on the Pricing page.
- VAT follows the type of therapy included in the bundle: VAT-exempt sessions remain VAT exempt, while VAT-liable sessions include applicable VAT.
Compare with nearby options
Not sure social anxiety therapy is the right starting point? Here is how it compares with the options people who feel uneasy around others most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Social anxiety therapy (this page) | Fear of being judged or embarrassed makes ordinary social moments an ordeal. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
| Anxiety therapy | Your worry is broad and constant, with people as only one part of it. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
| Panic attack therapy | Sudden physical attacks of fear come in many places, not only around people. | Weekly 1-hour sessions at first |
| Loneliness therapy | You are less afraid of people than lonely and without a network. | Regular 1-hour sessions |
Frequently asked questions
What is social anxiety therapy with you?
Social anxiety therapy with me is individual psychotherapy for adults who feel intensely self-conscious around others and fear being judged, rejected or embarrassed. It helps you understand where the inner critic comes from, loosen the habits of hiding and rehearsing and practise being with people as yourself. You can have it in English or Danish, at my Copenhagen practice or from home over video.
I work in depth, with your feelings, your body, your history and the social rules you grew up with. Social anxiety therapy is a specific branch of anxiety therapy, which is part of my psychotherapy.
When should I come to you about social anxiety?
Come when the fear of other people’s judgement is costing you friendships, opportunities, rest or joy, or when you notice your social world getting smaller. There is no need to hold out until you can no longer face going out. Your own sense that you are missing out on your life is reason enough.
In more than 22 years of practice, I have learned to look at how long the fear has been there, which situations it now reaches and what you have given up because of it. If it has lasted for months and keeps returning however hard you push yourself, it deserves proper attention. If you feel alone even when you are with people, my article on feeling lonely even with friends may also speak to you.
Is this just shyness, or is it something therapy can help with?
It can be both, and therapy can help either way. Shyness is a temperament many people live with comfortably. When the fear of judgement starts making your decisions, it is worth working on. How fast it shifts I cannot predict, and I will not sell you a shortcut.
In my clinical experience, people change most when they stop trying to look confident and start allowing themselves to be seen a little at a time, first with me and then with others. That is where I would focus with you.
I am nervous about meeting a therapist. Is that a problem?
No. It is completely understandable, and it is not a problem for me. Many people with social anxiety find the first session the hardest part. You can tell me you are nervous, and we can start right there.
My professional position is that the way you feel with me in the room is part of the work, not an obstacle to it. If meeting in person feels too much at first, we can begin online. If a phone call feels easier than a booking form, a free call is a gentle first step.
Why do I want to join in and then want to escape?
Because both are ways of trying to stay safe. Some people seek reassurance, reach out and need to know they are liked. Others hold back, go quiet and handle things alone. Many move between the two within one evening. None of this is a flaw in your character.
Together we map whether you tend to seek reassurance or pull back, what that move protects you from and the price you and the people close to you pay for it. Then we work on steadier options: joining in without performing, taking a break without disappearing and settling yourself without needing everyone’s approval.
What will we do in the first session?
We start with what is happening now. I ask which situations are hardest, what you do before, during and after them, and what you have stopped doing. I also ask a little about your history, because social fear usually has roots. Before you leave, I share how I understand your fear of being judged and where I suggest we begin.
You do not need to prepare or have the right words. You can book that first session online in a few clicks, or start with a free discovery call if hearing my voice first makes it easier.
How many sessions will I need for social anxiety?
For social anxiety, I suggest planning on a few months of work, normally starting with a session every week. That is often enough to understand the pattern and start changing it in real situations. Social fear that has been with you since childhood, or that is tied to painful experiences such as bullying, usually needs longer.
Based on more than 22 years of practice, I would rather you commit to a clear first stretch and review it honestly than stop after the first good week. At that review we look at which situations have become easier, and we agree whether to keep going, meet less often or end.
Should I come in person or online?
Both can work well. Coming in person is often valuable, because the journey and sitting with someone face to face are part of the practice. Online sessions are a good start if leaving home or meeting someone new feels too much right now, and they last just as long.
In my psychotherapy practice the screen and the room offer the same work, in either language. Many people start online and move to the practice later. If you are an expat finding Danish social life hard to read, expat psychotherapy may also be relevant.
What does social anxiety therapy with you cost?
Social anxiety work with me is individual psychotherapy, booked as 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes in session. What a session costs right now is listed on my prices page. Payment is by invoice and bank transfer.
Most people need a run of sessions to change a social pattern, and a bundle takes 10 per cent off that run and fixes the plan in advance. The choices are on therapy discounts and bundles. If you pay from a Danish bank account on the day, a further 3 per cent comes off.
How do I book social anxiety therapy with you?
Book your first session directly online, with no phone call needed, or request a free 30-minute discovery call if you would like to talk first.
If you cannot find a time that suits you, contact me directly by email. Then book the session, and let it be the first small step towards being seen as you are.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
Explore other services I offer
Individual psychotherapy
Join the newsletter community
Join the newsletter and receive five practical tips for nurturing healthy relationships – with yourself and the people around you.
No spam. Just mindful insights.