Masterclass in communication
Three sessions on the one conversation you keep getting wrong
Built around the 2 of you, and it begins with a call before we meet
Why talking more has not helped
In this short video, I explain why 2 people who want to understand each other still end up in the same argument, and what I do differently across 3 focused sessions.
You can also send me an email
At a glance
Masterclass in communication. This is designed for 2 people who talk and still do not reach each other.
- Three 2 hour sessions with me, custom-built around your own relationship rather than delivered from a script.
- A free 30 minute onboarding call on Zoom with both of you, where we align expectations and goals before the first session.
- A complimentary 30 minute Zoom follow-up approximately one month after completion, to see what has stayed with you and whether any adjustments are needed.
- 10.300 DKK including VAT.
Across 3 sessions, I map how your conversations break. I will show you the moment your conversations go astray, and I will teach you a way of speaking and listening that holds even under pressure. Because we agree the focus on our opening call, the masterclass is shaped to your pattern and your specific needs rather than generalised needs. I guarantee that you will leave the masterclass having learned major tools that you can use at any time in your relationship.
You can book the masterclass now, or read the other 2 masterclasses I offer first: the masterclass in intimacy and the masterclass in recurring conflict. Terms and conditions are explained further down this page. If you are not sure which of the 3 fits you, request a call and I will tell you honestly.
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Meet Mark, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA, a psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist specialising in expats and international couples. I work in English and Danish, from my practice in central Copenhagen and online.
Practising since 2004, I bring a bicultural perspective to work with individuals and couples across languages and cultural contexts. My work integrates depth-oriented psychotherapy with approaches such as integral psychotherapy, Gestalt therapy, Jungian psychoanalysis, and object relations theory. I also have specialist training in attachment theory, narcissism, and borderline personality disorder.
For support with life between cultures, explore expat psychotherapy or expat couples therapy. My practice is supported by ongoing training and supervision. To read more about my background, training, and approach, visit About me.
The importance of supervision
Good therapy begins with good supervision
I regularly meet with experienced senior psychotherapists in Denmark and abroad to reflect on my work, challenge my thinking, and continue developing my skills. This ongoing process supports the quality of my individual and couples therapy, helping me offer thoughtful, ethical, and effective care.
My focus is simple: excellence, integrity, and impact.
Masterclass in communication: when is it the right fit?
You have tried talking about it, and talking about it is where it keeps going wrong.
There is no right time and no right reason to come to couples therapy. The sense that you are not getting through to each other is reason enough. You do not need a diagnosis, a tidy account of the problem, or a crisis first. In more than 21 years of practice I have met a great many couples who worried their problem was too ordinary to bring. Ordinary is what does the damage, because ordinary repeats.
My professional view is that most communication problems are not problems with language. They are what happens to 2 people when the conversation starts to feel unsafe. In sessions I begin by slowing the conversation down until you can both see the turn, the exact point where one of you starts defending and the other starts disappearing. These 3 questions will tell you whether that is your pattern.
Do your conversations end in the same place no matter where they start?
You begin with the dishwasher and finish somewhere much older. One of you raises something small, the other hears an accusation, and within 2 minutes you are both arguing a case instead of saying a thing. Afterwards neither of you can quite reconstruct how you got there, and the original subject never gets settled, so it comes back next week.
What I look for is the turn, not the topic. I want to know which of you speeds up and which of you goes quiet, because those 2 moves feed each other. That is the pattern I work on first and it is the fastest thing to change. If you recognise it, you can book this masterclass with me and we start there.
Do you want to be understood and also want to be left alone?
Both are true at once and they are not a contradiction. Wanting to be reached and wanting to be out of range serve 2 different needs, one for contact and one for safety. When both are live at the same moment you end up asking for closeness in a way that pushes it away, or withdrawing from the person you actually want near you.
I do not treat either side as the faulty one. I help you see what each response is protecting, so you stop having to choose between being honest and being safe.
Have you stopped saying the thing that matters because of how it will land?
You rehearse it, soften it, wrap it in 3 qualifications, and by the time it arrives the point has gone. Or you say nothing and hope it gets noticed. Over months this becomes a habit that looks like peace and works like distance, because your partner is now responding to a version of you with the important part left out.
I help you find language that is direct and proportionate at once, and I will challenge both the silence and the kind of directness that makes your partner responsible for everything you feel.
Do you raise the conversation and then wish you had not?
You bring it up, and within a minute you are managing the fallout instead of saying the thing. So next time you wait. Then the waiting turns into resentment, and when it finally comes out it arrives much larger than the thing it was about. Even to you, wanting the conversation and dreading it can feel like 2 different people.
I slow it down and find what flips you from wanting to dreading, because it is usually one moment rather than the whole conversation. Protecting yourself makes sense. It still has consequences for the person across from you, and part of the work is owning those without apologising for having needs.
Does one of you go quiet when the other needs to talk it out?
One of you needs to finish the conversation before you can rest. The other reaches a point where nothing more will go in, and goes quiet, factual, or out of the room. From the outside each of you looks like the problem. From the inside you are both trying to stop something getting worse.
I do not ask the quiet one to talk more or the pressing one to want less. I help you each say what the silence and the urgency are protecting, and we agree what a real pause looks like so it is not read as walking out. Needing room is not a fault, and neither is needing an answer.
Have you stopped recognising yourself in these conversations?
You hear yourself using a tone you do not like, or agreeing with something you do not agree with, and you are not sure when that started. Adapting for long enough stops feeling like a choice and starts feeling like who you are. That is disorienting, and it is a good enough reason on its own to come and see me.
I will help you separate what is you from what is the pattern, and I will challenge you where I think you are settling. What I will not do is hand you a conclusion about who you are or what you should want. The aim is that you can speak as yourself in the relationship you are actually in.
If you can name the conversation that keeps going wrong, book the masterclass. If you are not sure it is the right shape for you, ask me for a call first.
You can also send me an email
Masterclass in communication: how the 3 sessions work
You are not buying 3 appointments. Each session has a job, and the order is the point.
Before the 3 sessions begin, we meet for a free 30 minute onboarding call on Zoom with both of you. We align expectations, agree the single focus of the masterclass, and make sure this is the right format for what you are facing.
- Session 1: Identify the pattern.
- Session 2: Change what happens at the critical moment.
- Session 3: Make the new way of communicating hold.
- Sessions usually take place about 2 weeks apart.
- Complete and return at least one practical exercise before each following session.
This is a concentrated masterclass, and practice between sessions is part of the work. If something larger emerges, I will say so plainly and we will consider whether a focused masterclass remains the right format.
How to also save 3% on everything?
In addition to the significant bundles I offer, you can save 3%.
Tell me you want to pay from a Danish bank account and use same-day bank transfer.
I will then give you 3% off everything on that invoice – including all sessions, bundles and outside-hours fees.
Let me know by choosing “bank transfer” when you book.
Transfers between Danish banks are free and arrive the same day.
If you pay by any other means, including credit card, cash, ordinary bank transfer or IBAN transfer, you are not eligible for this 3% discount.
Terms and conditions
These conditions apply to every booking made under this format:
- Payment is made by invoice and bank transfer before the first session. Payment confirms the complete booking.
- Once payment has been made, the booking is non-cancellable and non-refundable, except where statutory withdrawal rights apply.
- The ordinary cancellation policy does not apply to the booking as a package.
- Individual sessions may be rescheduled through the customer panel under the normal rescheduling policy.
- A late cancellation, missed appointment or no-show counts as a used session.
- All included sessions must be completed within 90 days of purchase. Any unused sessions expire unless I agree otherwise in writing.
- At least one practical exercise, and sometimes more, will be assigned between sessions. The completed work must be returned before the next session.
- Appointments outside Monday to Friday, 09:00 to 17:00 Copenhagen time carry an additional fee of 350 DKK per session.
Where checkout asks you to waive the 14-day withdrawal period, you expressly request that performance begin immediately and acknowledge that the statutory withdrawal right is lost once the service has been fully performed, to the extent permitted by law. If you validly withdraw after requested performance has begun but before full performance, a proportionate amount may remain payable for the service already supplied. Any mandatory statutory right remains unaffected. These conditions should be read alongside the Client Policy, Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Cookie Policy.
Frequently asked questions
What does a masterclass in communication involve?
It includes a free 30 minute onboarding call on Zoom with both of you, three 2 hour masterclass sessions on one agreed focus held about 2 weeks apart, at least one required practical exercise between sessions, and a complimentary 30 minute online follow-up review approximately one month after the final session. Unlike open ended couples therapy, we agree on that call what we are changing and we do not widen it. The price is fixed at 10.300 DKK including VAT.
I use emotionally focused couples therapy for the pattern between you, and Gottman informed work on conflict and repair for the practical part. What you get from me is a direction and a professional opinion, not a course you sit through. If you want the longer piece of work instead, that is couples therapy in Copenhagen.
When should we come for this rather than ordinary couples therapy?
Come for the masterclass when you can say the problem in one sentence and that sentence is about how you talk to each other. Come for ordinary couples therapy when there are several things tangled together, or when you do not yet know what the problem is. Your own concern is reason enough either way.
My professional view, after more than 21 years, is that a focused masterclass works best when the goodwill is still there and the mechanics have failed. If the goodwill has gone, that is different work and I will say so rather than sell you 3 sessions.
Can 3 sessions really change how we talk to each other?
Yes, if the problem is the pattern and you practise between sessions. No, if you are hoping the sessions will do it for you. I will be direct about which of those I think is happening, and I do not offer guarantees.
In my experience the change that lasts is small and specific, one different move at the turn of the conversation. 6 hours is enough to find it, practise it and test it. It is not enough to rebuild a relationship that is in serious trouble, and I will not pretend otherwise.
When is a focused masterclass the wrong choice?
A focused three-session format is not the right choice if there is violence, intimidation or control between you; if one of you is in crisis; if an affair is ongoing; if a serious betrayal has not been addressed; if addiction is active; or if one of you is genuinely unsure whether they want to stay.
That does not mean therapy cannot help. It means the work needs more room. I may recommend ordinary couples therapy, individual work, or a conversation about whether to stay together. Where there is violence or control, I will not treat the problem as a shared pattern. If you are unsure, book a free 30 minute call and I will tell you honestly.
What if this is not quite our problem?
I offer two other focused masterclasses in the same format. If the harder part is how far apart you have grown rather than how you talk to each other, the masterclass in closeness and intimacy may fit better. If the same argument keeps returning whatever you do, consider the masterclass in recurring conflict.
If you are not sure which of the three fits, write to me with a few lines about what keeps happening. I would rather point you towards the right work than sell you the wrong masterclass.
What happens in the first session, and how do we book?
We agree the single focus in the first 20 minutes, then you each describe a recent conversation that went wrong and I slow it down to the point where it turned. By the end you will both be able to name your own move in the pattern, and you will know what we are doing in the other 2 sessions.
You do not need to prepare anything or arrive with the right words. Book the masterclass, or start with a free 30 minute call if you would rather check the fit first. I confirm all 3 appointments at the start so the masterclass does not get interrupted.
How long does the whole masterclass take?
About 6 weeks. Three sessions with roughly 2 weeks between them, which is long enough to try something at home and short enough that it does not go cold. All 3 must be used within 90 days of purchase. What moves the timeframe is your own diaries, not the therapy.
After more than 21 years I recommend booking all 3 appointments at the start. In busy periods my lead time runs to a few weeks, and a masterclass that stalls between sessions loses most of what it was for. At the end of session 1 I will tell you openly whether I think 3 sessions is the right amount of work for what you have brought.
Can we do it online, or does it have to be in person?
Either, and you can mix them. I specialise in expats and international couples. We can work in English or Danish, including the meanings that get lost between languages. Online on Zoom works well for this masterclass. In person is at Møntergade 4 in central Copenhagen. My professional view is that session 2, the working one, goes slightly better in the room, so if you can only manage one in person, make it that one.
What the masterclass cannot do is work with only one of you in the room. If your partner will not come, couples therapy alone is the honest alternative, and if you want open ended work rather than a fixed masterclass, that is couples therapy in Copenhagen. Tell me your situation and I will say which fits.
What does the masterclass cost, and what are the terms?
10.300 DKK including VAT for all 3 sessions, paid in full before the first one. Appointments outside Monday to Friday, 09:00 to 17:00 Copenhagen time carry an additional 700 DKK each. Invoice and bank transfer are the standard way to pay, and paying by same day transfer from a Danish account saves you a further 3 per cent.
The fixed structure and the single agreed focus are part of what you are buying. The terms are firm: once the masterclass has begun it cannot be cancelled or refunded, and all 3 sessions must be used within 90 days of purchase. Your statutory right to withdraw within 14 days, before any session has taken place, is unaffected and is set out in my client policy.
How do we start?
Book the masterclass and I will confirm all 3 appointments with you so it does not get interrupted. If you would rather check the fit before you commit, start with a free 30 minute call.
Write to me instead if you are not sure this is the right one of my 3 masterclasses, or if something in the list above applies to you and you want to talk it through first. Otherwise, book it and we will start where the conversation breaks.
You can also send me an email
My approach and values
My mission
My mission is to help individuals, couples and families rediscover connection, communicate with understanding, and build a stronger, more loving relationship that can thrive through any challenge.
My vision
My vision is to create a world where every person in my therapy room feels supported, connected, and empowered to grow, and to step one step closer to your Self.
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