Culture shock: why the low arrives late and what helps

What is culture shock?

Culture shock is the strain of living where the ordinary rules, cues and routines are no longer yours. The idea is old, and its history explains the picture printed in almost every guide for people moving abroad.

• The stages. A NAFSA summary of the models traces the term to Cora DuBois in 1951 and to Kalervo Oberg in 1954, who set out 4 stages: honeymoon, crisis, recovery and adjustment.
• The curve. In 1955 Sverre Lysgaard turned the stages into the U-curve, with a dip a few months after arrival.
• The second dip. In 1963 the Gullahorns added another dip for the return home.
• The repetition. The picture has been copied from guide to guide as if it were a finding about human beings.

Read more about reverse culture shock.

Does culture shock follow a curve?

No, culture shock does not follow the curve, and studies that tested it found the hardest point on arrival.

• Hardest on arrival. A study that followed 35 Japanese students in New Zealand found distress and practical difficulty highest on arrival and falling over the first 4 months.
• The review. The same NAFSA summary reports the 2001 conclusion of Ward, Bochner and Furnham that the U-curve model should be rejected.
• No crisis stage. Interviews with 50 Erasmus students found no general crisis stage, and 46 of the 50 were highly satisfied.
• The limits. These are small samples, mostly students on temporary exchanges, so the conclusion is narrow: the curve is no law.

Knowing this takes the timetable away. There is no month in which you are due a low, and no month by which you are supposed to be finished.

Why does culture shock hit months after the move?

The low arrives when the project of moving ends and the evenings empty. This is my clinical position, and no research finding.

• A project. The first months are a flat to find, a CPR number to get, a bank account to open and furniture to assemble.
• Absorbing work. The work exhausts you and absorbs you, and absorbing work keeps a great deal at bay.
• The project ends. Everything works, the boxes are gone, and nothing fills the evening.
• The private conclusion. You decide that you ought to be over this by now, and that needing help 8 months in means you have failed.
• Ingratitude. You feel unhappy, and then ungrateful for being unhappy after a move you chose.

For some people this comes a few months in, for others much later, and for some it never comes. Read more about how to deal with loneliness.

What makes culture shock harder in Denmark?

Three things about Denmark make the low harder to read: slow friendship, short winter light and a country where everything works.

• Slow friendship. People who grew up here often still have their friends from school and university, so their circles are already full.
• Read as rejection. You take a full diary for a closed door, and it crushes you.
• The light. Between November and February the days are short, and a low that began in October gets blamed on the move.
• No villain. Everything works, so you find nothing to complain about and conclude that the fault is in you.
• Small talk. Working in English locks you out of the Danish spoken at the edge of the room.

This is friction with the new place, which differs from homesickness for the old one. Read more about grief that is not a death.

How do you get through culture shock?

You get through culture shock with several small, repeated commitments, and no single large decision does the job.

• Redate your feelings. Count from the day the admin finished, because that is the real start of ordinary life here.
• Fix a time in the week. Join a class, a choir, a sport or a volunteering shift that meets at the same time every week.
• Repeat it. Repetition turns strangers into acquaintances, and acquaintances are what a life is made of.
• Learn some Danish. Do it even if your work is in English, so the small talk includes you.
• Say it out loud once. Tell the whole thing to somebody who is not also managing their own move.

If the question has shifted from settling in to who you are now, read more about an identity crisis.

These steps fail when the low has lasted for months and you have stopped arranging anything. That is what the session is for.

Questions people ask

When does culture shock usually hit?

There is no reliable timetable. In my practice the low most often arrives once the practical work of settling is finished.

Is the culture shock curve real?

No, the curve is no law. Stages commonly occur out of order, overlap or never happen.

Why do I feel worse now than when I first arrived?

The first months were a project, and the project has ended. Absorbing work kept loneliness at a distance, and now the evenings are empty.

How long does it take to feel at home in Copenhagen?

Longer than most people are told, and it depends more on routine than on time. A fixed time every week in front of the same faces is what moves it.

Does a late low mean I am adjusting badly?

No, a late low usually means the practical phase has finished. Many people who move have one, and it follows no schedule.

Sources

• NAFSA, Cultural adaptations, culture shock and the curves of adjustment
• Ward, Okura, Kennedy and Kojima, The U-curve on trial, International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 1998
• Viol and Klasen, U-curve, squiggly lines or nothing at all?, Frontiers: The Interdisciplinary Journal of Study Abroad, 2021

How this article was written. I choose the subject and the angle. An AI assistant researches and drafts. Nothing is published until I have read it, corrected it and stood behind every clinical statement in it. The professional and clinical judgement is mine and mine alone.